.1.
Rain ~ niaR
Love..
Love is something most people think they feel, but what is love
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.
But to some.. love is a toy, a horrible lure in. a game to play
How can you tell someone, you don’t love them anymore. Your relationship wasn’t what you wanted.
slowly I picked up my cellphone unlocking it and going through into my contacts. Then I ring James.
James: a supplanter that takes the place of someone or something that was there first. Being with James is like being alone. He’s just there, a wasted space. ‘a pathetic existence’
Straight to voicemail
“Hey, James. I don’t think it will work out anymore. I just .. I think I might be an asexual. I’m sorry” I say leaving a message.
Getting up off the bench I throw my cellphone into the pond and walk away.
I feel like I just don’t care anymore, life is so boring and short and useless. everyone expects you to pass all exams and become something special like a dentist or a surgeon.
Well, my mom didn’t.
A good mother creates loving, supportive, and stand-up people; that is what every good mother wants her child to become
Well at least that’s what everyone elses moms are, I think so. Mom is pretty much the opposite, she’s bipolar. Hard to impress, easy to trigger. She’s another one of those people who i think are just there, no exact reason.
My mom is careless Most of the time I come home and shes either wasted on the couch or out at the pub. We rarely get to have a conversation.
It’s decided. I’m going to die trying, running away from your problems doesn’t work. which is why I walk.
I walk for hours through the rain, hair plastered down my face as I walked down the pavement to god knows where.
I just need more excitement in my life. I need to do something that gives me adrenaline and makes me feel things because I’m tired of being empty.
Cars drive past me as I walk on, ignoring the pain in my legs.
people say ‘i can’t handle the pain, It’s unbearable’ or something like that but how do we know how to feel pain, pain is a warning and something we run away from, something we don’t want.
But I welcome pain in. and I tell myself over and over to accept the fact that I’ve been hurt and to deal with it and move on. pain needs attention, pain wants attention. and pain leaves to go to someone else when they don’t get attention.
A car slows down abruptly and honks at me turning around with a bored look on my face I sigh as the window rolls down
“what..?”
“What’s a young lady like you doing out here in the rain at this time of-”
But I don’t catch all that he says because I rudely walk on. if he’s going to try something then no need to drag it on.
“That was a bit impolite don’t you think?” he says, getting out of his car. I take one look at him and put my hand in my pocket feeling for my pocketknife.
He walks closer to me putting a smile on his face.
“save it” I walk on, hurried now.
Then he grabs hold of my arm and yanks me back. yelping I struggle to get out of his grip, the tears already forming in my eyes. Then I form whatever strength I have left of my and turn and kick him where the sun doesn’t shine
“You bitch!” he groans holding his pants
I take my chance and run, then laugh while running through the rain, as stupid as it is that’s the most eventful thing that’s happened to me in ages.
I turn to my left and head into the woods, going deeper and deeper until I find a small space in a tree. I just about fit and take off my jacket to cover myself slipping into a deep sleep.
“Caring less is the easiest way to be happy”
Aesthetic or spiritual.
.Stupid and anxious.
