Strings Attached

A Daughter’s Memory

He walked in and the door closed by itself. His face illuminated brightly due to the fire burning in the pit in the corner. His tall, sturdy body cast a large shadow filling the whole room. She skipped over to him and he grabbed her by the waist. His large hand covered up so much of her back as he gripped her nightgown in his palm. She giggled playfully as he drew her closer into his body. His arm cuffed her entirely around as they shared a kiss. Her body melted into his and they shared a laugh. He saw me watching and smiled at me. He’d smack mauma on the backside and walked straight up on me.

I remember he could take one big stride and reach the other side of our quarters. I was laying on a pallet wrapped between towels and blankets on the floor. The wooden plank underneath him lifted. He bent down on one knee next to me. Then, he gently swiped one finger down the top of my nose. He replaced his fingertip with a delicate kiss on the bottom of my nose and started tickling me. I began to hoot with undeniable laughter. Mauma hushed us both, “Ya’ll keep it down, you know it’s late. John, let her be. She need to go on back to sleep.” Then she looked at him with naughty eyes and he seemed to welcome her eagerness.

He lay down on the ground next to my pile of blankets and we was face to face. Looking at each other with the same eyes he’d ask me, “How’s it going StoryBug?” That’s what he used to call me. StoryBug.

“You see I brought something for your mauma right?” I did see he brought something for mauma, but I also knew I was supposed to be sleeping. I didn’t wanna get in no trouble for not listenin’ to mauma and going to sleep like I was told. But I knew better than to lie. Mr. John won’t tolerating of lying. Anyone ’round here’ll tell you. Lowering my eyes, with my head down in a quiet voice I answered, “Yes sir.” He put two fingers on the bottom of my chin and lifted my head up so we would be looking in those same eyes again. I was sure I was in trouble for not going to sleep when I knew I was supposed to. Instead, Daddy said “I know you don’t think I forgot about you? How could I do that?”

I shrugged uttering, “I don’t know.” He chuckled a whole hearty laugh, big enough to shake our whole cabin.

“You hear that mauma?” he asked being silly. He was always that way, making mauma and me laugh. “She don’t know,” he said putting his hands on his hips and puffing his chest up big. Mr. John joked around in a serious tone. Mauma just wave her rag at him, laughing, “Oh stop teasin’ her John.”

“I bet you wanna check my pocket to see if I brought you something?” He slightly pulled open the pocket in his pants just enough for me to catch a little peek. And most assuredly, I nodded my head up and down replying, “Yes suh.”

“You go on then. Check my right pocket. See if there’s a surprise for you in there,” he said. I reached my arm in his right pocket and pulled out a wad of lint gritted up with sand. I said, “Hey, there’s nothing in there.”

And he grabbed my stretched out arms and began tickling me in my underarm. “That’s because you were supposed to be sleep. What you were going to find in the morning is in my left pocket.” I eyed Mauma and saw she won’t too mad, so I laughed a little longer.

I reached on into his left pocket. And sure enough, he had a special treat just for me. Just like every time before, there was some sweet edible delicacy or a fancy hair ribbon or some kind of trinket in his pocket for me. “Because I love you, story bug. You will never have to worry about anything.” He kissed my forehead and told me to go to sleep.

My mauma come fetch him to bring him to her cot. I pretended to go on back to sleep and watched the shadows of their bodies moving together on the wall. I listened to them together, their whispers of affection. I laid there, with my back to them, smiling. My mauma, as I, was pleased with his visit.

Like every morn, Mauma’s hummin’ started the day. And when I awoke he was gone. He never stayed long. But the trace of this brief visit loitered in our small cabin until his next. The smell of his hair would linger on the blankets and his shadow seemed so big. It was big enough that he could leave a little of himself behind here with me and Mauma.

I got up and walked over to the basin of water on the square table in the middle of the room. I rinsed my face and neck as mauma always instructed me to. Beside the basin of water sat a vial of rose water. I opened the cap and brought the vial to my nose. I deeply inhaled the sweet smell. It kind of made my head hurt it was so pretty smellin. It made me sneeze. I looked around to see if Mauma was watching me and I dabbed the rose water on my wrist.

“Now I know you know better. Ain’t no reason in going out there in them fields tryin’ to smell all pretty. All’s you gonna do is attract ’squitas or trouble. Go on and rinse that off yo wrists right now,” mauma scolded.

It was clear I had upset mauma, so I quickly apologized, “I’m sorry mauma.” I went on to explain, “I just wanted to smell pretty like you do for Daddy.”

“Hush on girl. What I done told you ’bout that. You knows to call him Mr. John don’t you?”

I hung my head. Mauma had told me time and time again ‘bout calling him Daddy. But she looked at me and must have felt bad for scolding me so hard. She turned around from fixing the blanket on her cot and grabbed my hands. “Sweetheart, time for you to be worryin’ bout all that gon’ come soon enough. You just hold on to being a beautiful, smart little girl right now, okay. Can you do that for me?” she asked.

I agreed but I didn’t see the harm in no rose water. In fact, I thought it was the prettiest thing, next to mauma that was.