School Over
So I was hopeless when grades were out. Well my board was central board of secondary education and honestly I was little upset about my grades. And to be honest in India when a person completed XIIth, things change. The first thing I encountered was the phone calls, whatsapp texts of relatives, friends and neighbours. I mean I was so tired of answering phone calls. And then started the procedure of checking cut off lists of colleges in Delhi university. I have scored 88%. So I was at least expecting to get into Delhi University though the cut off closed at 90%. . But luckily I get into a reputed college. Well I was always a little inexperienced. so during college admission procedure I was running here and there. In India parents are always so supportive and in my case they are excess supportive. Well yes I am thankful but I always feel I am not competitive to complete my tasks on my own.
So I get into a college and my life started if I tell you where was I before college I was in north Delhi public school. Not a very famous one but at least a good one. My school life was very dumb and boring I almost survived because I want to. I had friends but all of them were so jealous and full of hatred. I had a best friend but there were a lot of hidden secrets behind her innocent smile. I admit we all have secrets but mine don’t hurt others. You know one of those people who can kick anyone down to get a little up. Well she was one of them. Most intelligent girl in the class but full of lies, jealousy and hate. And how can I forget to mention I was in a relationship with someone who speaks million lies to save the relationship. But honestly I rather listen thousands of heart aching truth then a sweet lie. When I look back. Back then I was innocent or maybe dumb. I haven’t defined that yet. But I am pretty sure people used my kindness to complete their selfish motives. I have some examples of what happened. Like you know toppers don’t tell about their preparation for upcoming exams. Believe or not if I say my two chapters are left my best friend answered that her three chapters are left. This was a game that was always played every evening before an exam. The other thing I know my ex boyfriend was lying but when I catch him he answered he lied because he loved me. Like what is an issue telling where were you? I mean I won’t kill you for that. You drink it is fine though I hate people who drink or smoke and I can’t help hating it. But I will never ask you to stop because few things can’t change. maybe I was little cruel with him but my family was so against him due to various factors like race, family background, culture, caste and our standards well sorry to say but in India we are married not with the person but with his background and family . And I chose my family. If you are wondering why?? . I can’t see my father breaking and dying because of me. Anyone will choose his father over a man she met few months back. I broke up and after that I swear I won’t date anyone inappropriate. I will date someone who don’t lie and someone whose standards match mine.
I liked a man after I broke up, he liked me too. In fact he asked me to be “the one” but I rejected because I was scared of coming in relationship again. I can’t see again what happened because of me.
Yes there were men who liked me flirted in my entire school time but I locked myself in solitude and built high walls surrounding my heart. I can’t make the same mistake again. I tried to suicide three times because my family environment suffocates me. But this suicidal attempt was never known by my parents. And if you are wondering how I didn’t die. I didn’t die because my life span was little longer than my expectations. People always know I am a jovial and cheerful woman because my smile hides everything. But yes I suffered a lot in school days and I feel my luck was cruel and I decided to leave all the bad memories of school. I forget to mention I had other friends, no they were not friends they were snakes so I find an escape and decided to enter college with a new Rupal and will make new memories here.
