Wow

"Even as a first chapter, it was very interesting. Your hook was very strong, though, for the main 'thing', a little more serious tone would work and I don't know, stretch it for more exposure and understanding of the 'thingy'. A few, very few grammar mistakes here and there but it's fine since we can understand it. I am looking forward to the next chapters, it's so good. it fits my requirements and I absolutely love it. Please update soon!"