Mental breakdown as A Child

As a child i could Run away

As a child I could run away Easy

As a child Couldn't lead the way Out

But The mind says you will be okay keep moving forward

As my parents guide me through the steps

They laughed and said these words

Where you gonna live ?

How you gonna survive?

I said in my mind as a child There is no way out but Wait

Until I am 18 to leave and escape my way out

As even though running away inst enough to satisfied my needs

I made a plan while growing up saying I will make the time

to escape, when i can choose the time I can leave,

As a child i was locked up in a cave wanting friends,

but I can not leave this miserable life i had

Even though i didn't have a gut to leave at age 4-7

I am a survivor and a fighter with this Anxiety disorder

As i will continue life My disorder Will continue to Heal

Struggling after days, Night and Life growing

Its hard to deal with at time when you need someone by you're side there is a time where there is a LIFE THREATENING

but i manage to Controlled the symptoms of Anxiety disorder

in order to Live with out a father or mother to understand my sympathy of the past.

I will not rest until the Lights are turned off and find my Passion of faith inside my soul while crying out loud

I tend to cry because i held these tears all through these years.

I will not rest until the Day my parents Will say

Honey i will love u no matter what happens sorry

I wasn't the best parent But we all have are ups and downs

I will try my best to be the parent you deserved.

Lets forget the past and forget and move on

I always tell my self to the parents we can not move on from the past that you caused the trauma u made me will never be erased it will be LIFETIME

If i cant have a parent

Then the parent cant have me when needed

Every time i try to call out for help or want them to visit

The answer i get is A FLAT NO

AT Times i see you talking to the other kids you

you visit them I try to not SHED my tears while

listening you talking about rough there going through

I maybe your child i have feelings and sympathy

If i was a mistake child at least try to make it like you cared

I left for a reason,

I felt cluttered,

I Felt unloved,

I Felt dishonored,

Life is short,

life is tough,

but I managed to shed the tears away.