Wenworth

You know you can’t hold me forever

I didn’t sign up with you

I’m not a present for your friends to open

This boy’s too young to be singing, the blues.

~Elton John

Gwen hated feeling so nauseous. She hated how intensely nervous and weak she got when she had big meetings like the one she had that very morning. She could hardly eat the day before the meeting. Maybe that was the secret to weight loss for her. She wondered if it was even worth applying for the promotion to department chair.

Gwen worked at Wenworth College. A medium size college of some 5000+ students that sat on a massive beautifully-designed campus. Off the main roadway the College had two entrances and exits. A driver passing could barely see the College building or parking lots as they were set well back and surrounded by well kept lawn and loads of trees.

There were flower beds along each roadway leading into parking lots as well as along the whole front of the College. The main entrance was 8 larger red doors. On each building there was a sign indicating what department was contained within that building. English, Nursing, Sciences, Performing Arts etc. At the far east of the College were trades buildings. The trades were separated from the College as they housed apprenticeship students.

Over top of the main entrance there was a large, 10’ by 20’ lighted medium blue sign. At night it very much stood out as Wenworth College was all it said. The College and brown brick buildings were large and yet all combined used very little of the land the College actually owned.

For in behind the College was a vast 250 acres of forested land. The College and town, which had grown to 28,000 people, had developed a massive pathway system through the forest and town combined 10 years ago.

Gwen had been there for 12 years teaching in the anatomy department. Yet her attempts to advance her career had gone nowhere. Getting her Masters in Education was her latest step which she was hoping would make this time different.

Her meeting was with June Carson that morning at 10 o’clock sharp. June was not a bad person that one should be so nervous about meeting with. In fact, Gwen liked her a lot. Away from work June was a hoot. She would really cut lose once the wine started to flow.

She was Alumni, a former athlete that had worked her way up to the department head position. People, including Gwen, respected her. She had earned their respect.

June was a tall, blonde woman of medium build. Her strong, yet thin facial features only made people respect her authority more. For some reason she always looked tanned.

She was not known as a person that made rash decisions. No, June did not make mistakes. She carefully weighed every decision by accumulating as many opinions and as much data as she could.

Even when selecting her interview committee, June was very careful to ensure a variety of expertise was involved. The attention to detail she gave all her work was impressive.

The goal was to hire long-term people that would be clear assets to the College. If they left it would not be because she fired them due to their lack of competence. No, if they left, it would be of their own accord.

Yet she was keenly aware of the value of friendship. Always respectful and having an understanding side that nurtured her people was of utmost importance. There was a true appreciation of the work/life balance with her.

Wenworth was all about family. They wanted everyone to feel like they were a part of a family. When you got there, you wanted to stay.

Gwen felt that. She loved working at the College. Yet there was always something that made her feel uneasy about working there. She could not quite place what it was. Perhaps, she thought, it was her own anger that she had not moved up at the College. There had been times when she was bitter about being passed over. However, she never let it affect her work.

The door opened suddenly into the lab from a main hallway and in walked an obviously flustered Monica Grieves.

“Sorry I am late. My dumbass boyfriend picked me up late.”

Gwen knew what that statement really meant. It always meant that he wanted sex and she was her usual horny self. Which made her late as he was not about the quickie. Neither of them were. Well, unless it was just a blowjob in the car in the parking lot over lunch.

“It is okay. I have a bit before I have to meet June,” Gwen replied.

On the other end of the lab was another door that led to 4 offices and a lunch area for the staff. Monica walked swiftly through the door off the lab into the adjacent offices. From where Gwen was sitting in the lab she could not see her but could hear her well enough. On the other side of the offices another door opened into the therapy clinic where Monica worked. This was the place where all the athletes who sustained injuries went. The main entrance for the athletes into the clinic was from the hallway.

“Did anyone knock on the door of the clinic? she yelled.

“Not that I saw or heard. And no one came here looking for you either. You obviously are not that popular.” Gwen laughed at her own joke.

“How are you feeling? Nervous? I am sure you got it” Monica said as she emerged into the lab without her jacket or purse. She walked swiftly towards Gwen who was sitting at a long table lab surrounded by tall stools, pretending to be reading something on her laptop.

The lab was a smaller classroom. It had 12, 8 foot long island style tables with shelves below. Six on each side with a space running in between them. There were 4 tall bar-style wooden stools on each side of each island.

Monica set her coffee on the table across from Gwen and lifted her rather large bum up on a stool. Monica was a short, heavy set but shapely blonde haired gal. If you just looked at her face you would think she was a cheerleader but her body told another story. Rugby had been her sport and she was built for it.

She moved her behind back and forth on the tall chair until comfortable. “Damn, I think it just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I blame Brock for it. I think he is willing my ass to get bigger. He loves the big booty.”

“Well maybe we can blame him for the rest of us too. Mine is certainly getting larger.”

Monica was very open about her very busy sex life with her boyfriend. Not surprisingly, she was also a devout Pagan. A believer in the earth and love. She was 22 years old, a month from being 23, and gave off the impression that life was going to be lived come hell or high water. She was new to Paganism but felt a connection deep in her soul. A connection that of course combined with her personality and led her to tell everyone about it.

She was also new to the College. She had only been there 7 months but was very good at her job. She was hired when Carla the past assistant left for another position at another University. Ellisa, who was the head Athletic Therapist and ran the clinic was on maternity leave. So it was up to Monica to hold down the fort.

Gwen looked up from her computer to Monica now typing furiously on her phone. “Sorry, I did not hear you. What did you say?” She had heard but for some reason wanted to present herself like she was totally calm.

“I said I think you will get the position” Monica replied without looking up from her phone.

“Oh yes, I do too.” Gwen gave a low and short laugh.

“Are you nervous?” Monica again asked. This time looking up from her phone.

Gwen smiled, “of course,” she said. The two girls laughed.

“Look at it this way. If ya do not get it then you get to stay here with me. Brock says he does not want to get married at all. So we’ll be old cat ladies together one day. Get us some deluxe vibes.” She started to belly laugh and slapped her one knee.

Gwen tilted her head back. “Oh great! Now that is a life to look forward to.”

There was a ding and Monica looked to her phone then instantly burst out laughing. “Oh my God,” she said. “Check out the latest.” Monica turned her phone around to reveal the picture on the screen - it was of a naked guy with his head not showing in the picture.

“It is one of the guys on the volleyball team” Monica chirped while laughing. “Holy shit! Look at the size of that cock” she exclaimed.

Gwen could feel herself turn red. She could feel the heat on her semi-chubby cheeks. His penis was large and erect in the picture. His body was on the thin side but ripped. Gwen pretended not to care. “I can’t believe how much of that goes around now on these phones. Technology is mostly pornography” she laughed.

“Yes it is. But I love it. Now to figure out which player it is.”

She tried to just look down as she knew she was bright red and hoped Monica did not notice. She had turned the phone back around and was now typing a message.

It was then Gwen noticed the time. She closed her laptop without turning it off and unplugged it. She hurried out of the lab and into the offices placing her laptop on her desk. Her office had the desk placed against a wall with a couple book shelves on another wall behind her chair and a couple chairs at the one end of the desk. She grabbed up a notepad and pen, along with the original job description printout for her meeting. She reviewed the description again then stopped for a moment, placing her hands flat on the desk in front of her and took a deep breath. Her legs suddenly felt weak.

Having collected herself she picked up her things and off she went into the lab and out the door into the hallway. “See you later alligator,” she said to Monica.

“Break an arm or leg or pelvis” Monica replied.

Gwen got to the end of her hallway. She could feel the sun coming in through the grand cathedral style glass ceiling as she made her way down the large main hallway. It was 50 feet wide and 30 feet tall. It was beautiful and new, as this whole Athletics building had just been built 4 years ago.

She thought about what she would do if she got the position, as she instinctively made her way to June’s office. It was one of those walks a person did not need to think about. It had been done so many times it was habit now. It allowed a person to think about other things while you made it.

Then the dreaded other option popped into mind - what if she did not get the position? How would she handle that, she thought. Holding herself together and staying calm in front of June would be paramount. She punched the front of her thigh as she walked. Stop thinking so negative she thought.

She turned a corner and made her way up the staircase to the second floor where June’s office was at the top of the stairs. She hesitated when she reached for the door handle to enter the reception area. Through the glass she saw June with her back to the door standing talking to Candice, her receptionist. June was wearing white knee length shorts and a light blue Wenworth Athletics golf shirt.

Gwen she gripped the handle tightly and opened the door.

June looked around at her. “Gwen, how are you?” she asked.

Gwen sighed, “busy but good.”

“You guys are always busy down in the labs” June replied. “I almost wonder if we need to look at getting you some extra help down there. But you know how the budget is. We will have to propose it on hands and knees.”

Gwen nodded her head in agreement. “It is always tight for education - crazy really.”

“Tell me about it” June said while motioning for Gwen to follow her into her office. “We got the word last week to find cuts we can make to each department. Yet there are areas like yours that we need to add to. So we struggle on.”

“It is the old - do more for less - theory” Gwen replied.

“Yes it is” June agreed.

They entered June’s office and Gwen closed the door behind her. They both sat down - June behind her desk and Gwen sat in the chair in front that presented the least issue if she needed to exit without making a scene or seeming crushed.

“I want to say right up front how much we all love you here Gwen. I cannot beat around the bush we decided to go with another candidate.”

Gwen’s eyes dropped to a book on June’s desk. She could not believe what she just heard. The disappointment rushed through her body like a wave of energy zapping heat. There were no words coming to her that she wanted to repeat out loud.

June continued, “it came down to you and Rhonda and trust me we had a hard time making this decision.”

Rhonda! Gwen thought. She was only 26 years old and only been at Wentworth 4 years.

“I want you to know how much we value you Gwen. We really do” said June.

Gwen glanced at the watch on her wrist. “Oh crap, I gotta get back there. I do understand June and thanks. It is always nice to hear you are doing a good job. Let me know what I can do to put myself in a better position if something comes up in the future please.”

June stood up. “I will. I will send you an email once I can organize my thoughts on it.”

Gwen turned catching her foot on the chair leg and slightly stumbling. She quickly moved the chair back into place and exited the office.

As she walked away she heard from behind her June saying, “see you at the department meeting tomorrow.”

You might fucking not see me, she thought.

Her steps were a lot faster and thorough walking back to the lab than they had been walking to June’s office. There was anger in each one. Her dreams were shattered. How could they choose Rhonda over her.

She arrived back at the lab throwing the door open and slamming it shut. There were two students in the lab with Monica working on a project for class. Right away Gwen recognized the students as two of the athletes at the College - Krysta and Kylie. Both wearing their practice gear. They were startled and looked around at Gwen. She smiled at them with her best fake smile, “sorry, door got away from me” she said.

Getting up from her chair, Monica followed Gwen into the offices area. Gwen turned around with tears in her eyes and Monica was there wrapping her arms around her.

“Stupid fuckers! Cannot believe they made this mistake again” Monica whispered into her ear while rubbing her back.

Releasing from the hug Gwen stepped back and collected herself.

Monica looked at her. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, I am fine. Just disappointed. Things could be worse, they could have fired me.”

“True dat” replied Monica in her saucy voice. The two girls laughed. It was a relief.

“I am good. You can go help them” Gwen said motioning towards the girls out in the lab.

“They are just working on their class project. I am just helping since I took that class back in the day. I have no one booked in the clinic so I was actually just going to go and get a fruit smoothie. You want one?” asked Monica.

Turning Gwen reached for her purse on her desk. “No, I am buying.” Monica pronounced before she could even open the purse.

“Really? Well thanks. A strawberry-banana-mango one for me” Gwen said.

Monica walked out of Gwen’s office into the clinic. She scooped up her purse, “be back in a jif” she yelled.

With that Monica was gone. No question it was a relief for Gwen as she wanted to just be alone. She needed to be alone. Sitting in her padded black leather chair she tightened her fists. Her shoulders came inwards while she was letting out an inner scream. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

No one liked Rhonda - she was an arrogant bitch she thought. She is only 26 fucking years old. I am 42 years old. She was my student just 7 years ago. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Someone fucking bloody well hates my guts.

The thoughts just kept flying madly around in her head. She sat back deep into the chair. Her eyelids closed and her emotions let go.

Next thing she knew she heard Monica’s voice out in the lab. Around the corner into the office area she came with the smoothie she promised in her hand. Setting it on Gwen’s desk, Monica looked at her. “Why don’t you go home. We got nothing in here today that I can’t handle.”

Gwen reached for her smoothie and sucked a tester amount into her mouth. It was very good and just what she needed. “No, I am fine. Pissed off but fine.”

“Okay, well if you need to talk or want to go home, I am good with both.” With that Monica went off into the lab.

Gwen heard the door to the lab close and recognized Jan’s voice. She was a volleyball player for the Wenworth girls squad.

One of the girls working on the class project looked up. She noticed Jan limping. “Hey. What up? Why the limp?”

“Turned my ankle today at practice. So going to the clinic to get it treated. How about you guys?” Jan replied.

The other girl, Kylie, looked up at Jan. “Did you hear about Jason Sonch?”

“Hear what?” Jan asked.

Kylie began speaking very quickly. “He is leaving today. Going back to the States. Went totally bonkers after the party Saturday night. A jogger spotted him in the forest behind the Res buildings naked, covered in blood early Sunday morning. They found like two dogs heads cut off the bodies.”

“Holy crap!” Jan exclaimed. “He decapitated them?”

“Yeah, like sick - right? They found a carving knife by him.”

“Jesus, I saw him leave the party at two in the morning and he was right sober. He said he was just going to walk home. I can’t believe this. That is so fucked up. Like did he just snap? Was this some sort of secret fetish he had? He seemed like the last guy I would ever think would do something like this.” Jan spoke too fast to sort out her confusion.

“I know, same here. I thought he was really nice and yummy too.” Kylie lifted her eyebrows quickly to highlight her statement.

Gwen sat listening intently to the conversation. She was very surprised. Jason was one of her students this semester. He was a good student and a nice guy. She liked him a lot more than she should. Kylie was right, he was sexy to boot.

Leaning forward Gwen glanced at the door to make sure no one was there, as if they could hear her thoughts. She rolled her eyes as she leaned back into the chair. How can I even think that way about a student. There is seriously something wrong with me.

She then thought about the two female hockey players that left halfway through the season last year. Both opened their wrists on the same night. Everyone thought it was a suicide pact but no one could figure out why. Two great students and team mates. Everyone said there were no signs at all that this was coming on. Their teammates were totally stunned. Both girls thankfully survived as one of their boyfriends arrived just in time.

“Hey Gwen. How are you?” Gwen looked up and saw Jan standing at the door.

“Good, how are you?” Gwen asked.

“Well I guess we will find out in about 10 minutes” Jan sighed.

“You have had a lot of injuries this year? The elbow and the knee and now the ankle?”

“Yes, way too many. Last year I did not have an injury all season. This season I have played only two matches. It is really depressing. Can I cut through to the clinic?”

Gwen responded right away, “of course. Go ahead.”

Then Monica came whipping by Jan on her way into the clinic. “Come with me and we will assess that ankle and see where you are at. Your coach wants to know how long until you can at least practice.”

The two girls passed by the other two offices and the kitchen area reaching the door to the clinic. The door to the clinic opened before they could reach it, almost hitting Monica. She stood straight up, leaning her head back to avoid getting hit.

“Oh jeez. Sorry Mons!” It was Beth Carruthers, a student that helped out in the clinic.

“The girls laughed. “No troubles. You just get in?” Monica asked.

“Yeah, I had english first thing this morning” Beth responded.

“Did you hear about Jason?” Jan inquired.

“Yeah I did. Weird - right?” Beth answered while giving a look of disbelief to Monica and Jan.

“I guess you just never freakin’ know right” Jan added.

“No kidding. I will be in the clinic in about 15 minutes. I just need to talk to Gwen” Beth said as she waved her hand to the two girls while walking away.

Monica and Jan continued into the clinic closing the door behind them. Beth walked by two empty offices and then saw Gwen sitting back in the chair with her eyes closed in her office. “So?” she asked Gwen.

Gwen opened her eyes to see the person behind the familiar boisterous voice. Beth was not wearing her long black hair in a ponytail today. It looked better down as it surrounded her round face and really added to her big smile. The big brown eyes clearly gave away her fun loving, positive and large personality. Every part of her was big and lovable. She was the type of person you just wanted to hug to hopefully get some of her positive vibe on you.

Gwen sat forward and quietly said, “I did not get it.”

“Seriously?” Beth exclaimed. “What the?” Her hands flung open in front of her.

Gwen shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. “I know. I just don’t get it myself. This is the third time I have not gotten it.”

Beth went over to Gwen and opened her arms. Gwen stood up and the two hugged then came apart and each sat down.

“They gave it to Rhonda Sanders” Gwen started.

“Holy shit! Are you serious?” Beth exclaimed.

“Yes unfortunately I am. I just don’t get it. What the hell am I doing wrong. She is 26 and only has a BA. and! And! Has only worked at the College for four years!” Gwen shouted.

“I agree it does not make freakin’ sense at all. On top of that she is not a nice person. Did they say why?” Beth asked.

“No. Not really. It is always the same lame excuses. I just want to scream.” Gwen looked away from Beth. The two were silent for a minute.

“Why don’t you come out for wings and drinks with us this Thursday? It will do you good. I promise we are fun” Beth urged.

Gwen looked up at Beth. “Thanks and I know it would be fun but the College bigwigs would frown on it.”

Gwen heard other students starting to arrive in the lab outside her office. She looked at the time. “Oh damn. My class is in 5 minutes.” The two girls got up and embraced again.

“Are you in the clinic this afternoon?” Gwen asked.

“No, I am leaving after I speak with Monica but will be in tomorrow, all day.”

“Okay see you then.” Gwen smiled at Beth and the two parted.