The Start
I never know how to finish a book, I’ve started hundreds of them, but they always look like forgotten notebooks on the floor of my old closet; with just a few pages written and a sense of sadness within.
The thing is now I don’t know how to start a book about myself, all I can say is; I hope you don’t get bored with my slightly interesting and depressing life.
I’ve never been lonely, I prefer being alone than being lonely, I push people away instead of solving a problem that maybe couldn’t be solved, I prefer abandoning people than being abandon.
I was born in 98, so I’m not an adult, I’m barely 21 and I can’t handle my own life; my housing are my parents, I don’t have a job, and I just think everything would be easier if I was rich, but life isn’t like that, so what can a girl do? Work my ass off, until I’m left crying in bed at 12 a.m. about how horrible my life is.
Going back to my story, I’m an average girl, who has dreamt about being a lot of things but hasn’t achieved any. In my world, most things are kind of depressing, but I try to be positive because there’s nothing else I could do. I’m a true believer that music can say what’s on your mind, and the music I hear all the time is sad, depressing music that talks about needing love, and suffering, about loneliness and betrayal, so if people just listened to my music a little bit they would know the real me, sad working hard on being happy, and not showing how lonely I am every day.
In my past, there’s been a lot of things shaping me into who I am today, mostly sad things, and a lot of really shameful moments, making my anxiety grow every day too. I won’t go too much into my past because this isn’t a sad story, this is a heroin story, about a girl who saves the world, well maybe not THE world but her own world, and herself in the way.
