Needs Some Work

"Though the plot itself has me intrigued, it does need some work. There isn’t much emotion shown within the story, which could really help connect the reader with the character(s) and the situations. Regarding the technical things, just a little bit of editing could help a lot. Changing things like r to are, u to you and ur to your/you’re easily makes a story sound and look better. To the author, if you need help editing or with anything, feel free to ask me, I’d love to help out."