Superheroes Suck

Superheroes suck.

Look I’ll tell you why before you ask the obvious question. No, it’s not because I’m jealous of their powers or of the widespread attention they get saving the town. Superheroes suck because they are arrogant j-

Something flies right beside me, narrowing missing clipping my ear by a fraction of an inch. Before I can curse the sonofabitch off, I’m scooped up off of my feet and into the air. My sunglasses almost fall from the top of my head but I managed to catch them right before they fall beyond reach. When I looked up, I found the same smirking face I always did, looking down at me.

“Put me down you ass.” I pushed against him but he wouldn’t budge, he just kept iron grip on me.

“Never.”

Okay so I may be getting ahead of myself. I should start this story where it all begins, back before when I was just mildly uninterested in superheroes. In this city, that was an oddity. We were one of the few cities lucky enough to have superheroes flying around to protect us. One day, a bunch of supervillains started prowling around our city and where they appear, the heroes follow.

I was a normal girl, I think I was ten when they all arrived. For the next couple of years, they all fought to be one of the few that garnered the fickle public’s attention. Every hero strived to become one of the select few who considered Belhurst’s official superheroes. The first two years were a nightmare with way too many superheroes for one town. None of them ever considered working together so they all ended up doing was screwing each other up.

These numbers quickly dwindled down due to deaths on the job, coupled with some realizing that they didn’t actually have powers after all and general public disinterest in them. Everyone really only cared about one of the six Aqua Lads and nobody liked Organopaw. Who thinks Organopaw is a good name for a superhero?

Eventually though, we ended up with two who proved to be a head above the rest. They were known as Scarlet Juggernaut and Rapid Remix. Both were male if you were wondering. Though there were other heroes, these two dominated the papers and seemed to take care of most of our crime.

Scarlet Juggernaut was exactly what his name makes him out to be. He’s freaking huge. His power was Super-Strength, I mean what else would you think someone his size would have? Super-Intelligence or something? He’s apparently a pretty cool guy, beefy but not jerky. Get it? I made another joke.

Rapid Remix was just about the opposite. His powers included a control over soundwaves and ability to fly, although that power stemmed from the former. His name came from the fact he was a DJ wannabe, a decent superhero though. He was a major jerk, he thought that being a superhero was about scoring with chicks and looking good. That’s why he died, he was flirting with some girl on the sidelines and some villain blew him up.

It was all the news reported on for a month.

Around then, a new superhero popped up and he called himself Spitfire. I was about sixteen at the time, it was big news for all the lusty teenage girls who fawned over him. Scarlet Juggernaut and Rapid Remix were obviously in their twenties or thirties but Spitfire’s age was much more ambiguous which only added to his appeal. Older women could fawn over him and not be looked at as cougars and younger women could do the same.

I’m eighteen now and Spitfire is basically our Batman, our Superman, you know the one superhero everyone equates to Belhurst. He’s takes care of 70% of the crime while the police, the rest of our heroes, and Scarlet Juggernaut are all tied at 10%.

Now that we’ve gotten a brief history of Belhurst and its superheroes, let’s move on to me and my role in all of this. Like I mentioned before, I was a normal girl. My mother was a doctor, she worked for one of the best practices in the city. My dad traveled a lot with his job, a friend of his invented something akin to a Smartboard except half as glitchy, and my dad helped out. He attended all of their business meetings and his friend introduced him as a “business partner” but my dad was really there to make the figures look impressive. Before that he was an accountant, not particularly interesting in my opinion.

We lived in a modest house, my mom wasn’t particularly high on the food chain at her practice and my dad was being paid decently but it’s nowhere near his pay as an accountant. Still, I grew up happy in a decently happy home. My parents didn’t do drugs, they didn’t fight every other night and while they have their arguments, it’s mostly about my dad needing to travel often. With my mom’s work schedule, making time with him was hard enough but it was growing near impossible.

Senior year had been good to me too. I’ve got to decide on college...whether or not I want to stay in Belhurst or make a name for myself as a photojournalist in another city. Preferably one without superheroes clogging up the skies. The only consolation was that my best friend Mary has trouble choosing what she’s having for lunch so college was going to be an uphill battle for her.

“Penn’s a good kisser.” Mary slid into the desk next to me. She was small, blonde and cute, the kind of girl a guy looks at and thinks is innocent. “But it’ll never work out.”

“Mare, you kissed Penn? My Penn?” I asked horrified that she do something like that. She’s always with someone and she feels the need to tell me every gory detail about her endeavors.

Not that I mind because it beats the hell out of my own love life, which was practically nonexistent. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t have anyone interested, I just didn’t have anyone I was interested in.

“Your Penn eh?” She cocked her eyebrows and smiled playfully at me as she popped an oreo into her mouth. “I didn’t know that he belonged to you.” When I shot her a deadpanned look she just laughed in response. “The answer to your question is no.”

“Good, I don’t think Murphy would let me hear the end of it if you did.”

Murphy and Penn lived on the same street as me, Penn was my next door neighbor. Penn is my other best friend, if he weren’t so adverse to shopping with me then I might not have met Mary. Although, that’s also the reason he became so close to Murphy so I guess that’s not really a good thing. I’m not very fond of Murphy if you can’t already tell.

Murphy’s the reason Penn and I even became friends. Back in Preschool, we were always forced to play with each other because we lived next to each other but we thought the other had cooties or something. One day, Murphy came out of nowhere and stole Penn’s lunch and I, already hating him for stealing my red crayon, retaliated. It wasn’t really for Penn, if I wanted to help him I would have shared my lunch, but in the end he got his lunch back. Murphy got pants full of sand.

Penn was so grateful for what I had done he vowed to be my best friend forever and he’s kept the promise so far. Even when we both moved on to bigger and better things, him being perfect and me being...well me. He found his interests based in sports and his education while I found a love for photography and journalism. Our lives make us oil and water but somehow we mix, against all odds...and the laws of nature.

I’m happy to have him in my life though, he’s the best friend a girl could ask for. Please don’t tell Mary.

Murphy on the other hand is a nightmare.

“Wallflower!” Murphy’s voice could be heard over all the chaos in the room.

I groaned, Wallflower was the nickname he had given me the very first day of Preschool and for him, it’s been one that stuck. I’m not even sure he remembers my real name anymore. He has other nicknames for me of course but none is as prolific and frequent as the classic “Wallflower.” Oh how I hate that name.

“What do you want?” I asked, my voice sounded bored but I was anything but. He said nothing as he slid into the desk behind me.

“Oreo?” Mary held the sleeve of cookies out to him.

“Not a fan,” He turned back to me. “Penn told me he needs to tell you something.”

I waited for him to continue, but Murphy seemed content to sit in silence. When I looked back at him, he was doodling something in his notebook. As soon as he noticed me watching and waiting for him, he stopped his doodling and shut his notebook furiously.

“Can I help you?” He asked taking a moment to run his fingers through his gelled brown hair.

“Yes, did Penn say anything else.” I stopped myself for a moment. “No, I know Penn said something else. Out with it Murphy.”

“Penn might have mentioned that he and Ray are no longer an item.”

“Really?” Mary piped in and I realized we had the whole class’ attention.

Ray and Penn have been together since the beginning of high school, they’re practically the class couple. They met when they were trying out for lacrosse and Penn’s partner overthrew the ball. Penn ran to retrieve it and in the process, he ran into Ray who herself was in the process of catching the ball. They butted heads, but eventually admitted how well the other played.

Both made their respective teams and as a celebration, they went out for dinner. They had such a great time that they went out again, and again, and again until eventually they were going out. I was happy for them. Except that I wasn’t because Penn having a girlfriend meant he sometimes missed Pizza Thursday and I hate when he misses Pizza Thursday.

If you need reason as to why it’s so shocking that they’ve broken up, they are our class couple. Not because they are both smart, athletic, kind and attractive –they are all of that. It’s because they are so happy when they are together, they might break up in college or later in life, but if there was any couple in our school that could make it the rest of their lives together, it’s them.

“Who broke up with who?” I asked, finding my voice. The two had continued on without me and it seems my sudden outburst took both of the by surprise.

Murphy was the first to speak. “Penn broke up with Ray, it was so out of the blue too. We were just walking to class and Ray passed us by. One moment he and I are chatting, the next he’s in a corner with her crying on his shoulder. Before I knew it, he was passing me by saying the two of you needed to talk. When I asked why, he just said he and Ray were through.”

“He didn’t even tell you why? Do you know where he went?” I asked.

“Nope.” Murphy leaned back in his chair. “But if I had to guess I’d say he’s at the front of the classroom.”

Sure enough, as I turned around I noticed Penn talking to the teacher from the last class. Overall he looked normal but upon closer inspection, there was a wet spot on his shoulder and his green eyes looked more tired than I had ever seen him. He handed the teacher a note and his eyes scanned the room for someone.

Me.

“Nova.” He raised his hand and waved at me.

He took a seat next to me, opposite of Mary. If I didn’t know any better, I wouldn’t have been able to guess that less than ten minutes ago he’s broken up with his girlfriend since freshman year. He looked as handsome and charming as he always did, something that worried me immensely because I knew Penn. Penn is not the kind of guy who breaks a girl’s heart and looks glowing afterwards.

He didn’t even look tired anymore.

“So, did Oliver already spill the beans?” Penn’s eyes stray up to Murphy who just smiled back with a satisfied grin.

Okay, so before you ask, Murphy and Oliver are the same person. Murphy is his last name. Everyone calls him OIiver, everyone but me. I just looked at him on the very first day of preschool and told him he didn’t act like an Oliver so I told him I would just call him Murphy. The name sort of just stuck, I don’t think I’ve ever called him by his first name. To me, he’ll always be Murphy.

Oliver seems like the kind of name you give to a sweet guy. It has the words ‘I love’ in it for gods sake, being a sweet guy seems like a given with a name like that. I guess Murphy is just good at not living up to expectations.

“About you and Ray?” Penn nodded. “Big time.”

“Look Nova, do you think we could go and talk somewhere...” Penn trailed off as our teacher entered the room.

The look on his face said more than words ever could. He had more to say and he was impatient, whatever it was he needed to say was important. Whenever Penn has something important to say, or do, his eyes hardened and he got this steely look in them. I’ve known Penn long enough to have seen the look more than my fair share of times.

Like when we played soccer and we were on the best team in our league. He was the star player and I was the girl who got on the team because he refused to play without me. The coaches weren’t very happy but Penn and I were. Penn, being the star, scored most of the goals while I got to keep the bench warm most games. Not that I minded, I just liked the feeling of being a part of a team and hanging out with Penn.

I was barely on the field and I never got anywhere near the other team’s goal. Penn though, got it in his head that I needed to score a goal and he was going to be the one to help me. He didn’t get a chance until our very last game, the coaches felt bad for me and they put me in towards the end because they saw no way we would win against Neptune’s team. Until Penn scored the three goals necessary to tie the game and suddenly had a chance.

The coaches saw that as reason enough to take me out but Penn threatened to leave with me and they conceded. We were less than a minute away and for the first time, I was right in front of the goal. Penn stole the ball at the other end and raced towards the goal, passing every single player on that field. He had that look of determination and suddenly his eyes flashed toward me. Just as a player from the other team went to slide tackle him, he passed the ball perfectly to me.

What I did next surprised me, it actually surprised everyone in attendance. Everything around me seemed to freeze and without a moment’s hesitation, I kicked the ball as hard as I could in the direction of the goal. Cue clichéd music and everyone watching in wonder as the ball slowly sailed toward the goal. Of course I missed that shot but when it hit the goal post, it rebounded right to me.

I made the next goal, as terrible of a kick as it was, I made my first and only goal of my soccer career.

Penn’s parents took me out for ice cream to celebrate. My parents wound up missing yet another game and Penn’s parents felt bad for me. Not that I minded, I got a free ice cream cone out of it. My parents wouldn’t have taken me anyway, they’re usually too busy for that sort of stuff.

If it hadn’t been for Penn, I wouldn’t have done a lot of the amazing things I’ve done.

Class went by in a blur and the next few followed suit. I spent most of it avoiding Penn, I wasn’t exactly ready to hear what he had to tell me or know what came with that look on his face. It worked out pretty well for a while, I’m someone who is easy to lose in a crowd.

Eventually, Penn caught up with me. It was the end of the school day and I was minding my own business as I put my books back in my locker. The school was pretty empty at this point and that meant Mary was going to leave any moment now. She liked to leave when there was no longer any competition in the parking lot. She arrives early every morning for the same reason.

That reminds me, Penn was weird this morning when he drove me to school. He usually chats me up and we talk about classes and normal stuff but this morning he was absolutely silent. When I tried talking to him he just deflected it and turned the music up. I just assumed he was preoccupied with a test or an upcoming game. I wouldn’t blame him for being little off this one time, Penn is the sort of guy who has so much on his plate and he always seems to manage it.

I’m getting off track again, let’s get back to Penn and the locker situation.

“Nova, I just saw Mary.” Penn’s voice broke the silence of the hallway as I put away my final book. “I told her she could head on alone because I was going to take you home.”

“Oh?” I tried my best to sound nonchalant but inside I was a mess. “You didn’t have to do that Penn.”

Penn scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Well it makes more sense for me to do it. You and I are going to the same place so it makes no sense to have Mary go out of her way to drop you off.” He stopped for a moment and it gave me a little hope that he’d forgotten what he needed to tell. “I actually never got the chance to talk to you so I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone. Do you mind taking a ride with me?”

I went through every excuse I could come up with but I realized that none of them would fool Penn in the slightest. He just knew me too well.