What she feels
Numb
She sat there. Terror filled her body, not leaving a single part of the body alive. Numb. Anger thundering in like an earthquake big enough to shake the world. Terror. Anger. Both consuming the girl, driving her mad. Pushing her to her end.
Dull Bulb
A little light. It shone as bright as a dull bulb. The feelings of helplessness crashing around, shaking the poor soul to the core. The light stayed, getting brighter bit by bit every day. Consuming her whole it terrorized what was left of the despair.
Cracked
In the end, she let herself think well. Thoughts crashed in all at once drowning her in a different type of self-hatred. One worse than anything before, for this was pity, loathing one's self for succumbing to the anger, terror, helplessness and despair. For yielding even now to how weak she was but accepting it and moving on while carrying how she felt.
Façade
That’s how she lived. Conflicted. Always oh so conflicted. Was she to do this or this? Was she to follow what she thought was right or what others said? Was she influenced by the world so much that she didn’t believe her beliefs or was she influenced so little she didn’t know what to think? Façades were everywhere, she lived in a world full of them. Who was who? What did they think? Why hide so much? Why does no one care for each other? Questions no other could answer but herself or as those closest to her say, go seek what we have taught you.
Happiness
She felt the happiness every day just lingering there. Not leaving but not shining. It sat there taunting her. “I am here but why do you not feel me?” Alive and well why was she not grateful? Happiness was everywhere as they say, and she believes but why is it so hard to feel continuously. Giving up on happiness, she lives in a state of nothingness. Fulfilled so not empty yet, no great feeling emerging. Some might even say, the sacrifice of intense emotion to get the peace one wants Is the right price to pay.
Conflict
She felt so much yet so little. Raging fire came alive but the Ice came next. Some things that she can’t express release her inner lock. Rippling through her she feels the burn and she feels the ice, the way her body heats and tingles. The way she can’t control her voice. Whether or not she felt too much or she felt too little, she knew she was standing at the edge.
