Chapter 1
Growing up I was the master mind of hiding things behind doors. I could cry in my bathroom for hours and walk out as if I just took a massive dump or something. I have a a stepdad he was one of the reasons why I started breaking down, wanting to kill my self, what breaks my heart the most is that my mom has a new job where she works overnights plus her other job that she has so she’s never home. It breaks my heart to know that my mom doesn’t know all the pain I’m going through. She doesn’t know that one night I was in my bed and tried to slit my wrist, she doesn’t know that I’ve had 2 panic attacks and mental breakdowns this past month. As of right now I’m sitting in my bathroom crying while writing this. Pathetic? I know right. Everyone sees me as this... bold girl outgoing, smart, loves reading books. Half of it is true, but that outgoing girl isn’t there anymore and that bold girl has a soft inside but has a shell on the outside. And when I get home I always always cry, cry myself to sleep, cry until I can’t breathe, or just cry until I have another mental breakdown. No one knows about anything that’s going on in my life. I know some of you are probably going through somethings so much worse but I need to you guys to understand that I am truly hurting right now. I’m not sure what’ to d with my life anymore except I know is to focus on school work get through highschool go to college and leave all this behind I’m so ready for a fresh start away from everyone. I’m sorry but if forgetting everyone I ever knew to get a fresh clean start was one of my options I’d take it sometimes you gotta be selfish if it means it’ll take all this pain away then yeah I’ll take it . Moral of this chapter is don’t let others tear you down so easily and try to hide away your problems and pain. Don’t be afraid to stand up and don’t be like me and cry in your bathroom. While sitting in this bathroom right now crying and thinking about life . I realized one big thing. I have 3 sisters. One stepsister . EAch of my sisters were basically forced to move out because of my stepdad and what does my mom do. Absolutely nothing guys and I mean nothing. My mom always would say she never wants us to grow up she just wants us to stay her little babies but what she dorms realize is that she losing them all because were all going through this and your losing each one of us mom! And I’m sorry to say this but I don’t feel bad and I’m not gonna look back either because I can’t keep going through this pain. Sorry I gotta go guys by stay tuned for the next chapter of my messy life and please leave me some advice or something.
