Wild life

I laid in bed imagining the sky full of stars and a full moon, the fresh air. I remember the smell of wood burning being at peace the happiness that filled my soul. I remember hiking mile after mile just me and the wild life climbing trees screaming from the top of my lungs knowing nobody could ever hear me because I was in the middle of nowhere just the way I liked it. I remember the fireflies dancing in the night and me joing them and laughing. I felt the footsteps approaching and all I could do was lay there still. He came in dropped off the tray and left. I figured he was still upset with me but he still made me 2 eggs,3 pieces of bacon and 2 pancakes with a glass of milk and some syrup on the side. I stood up grabbed the tray and sat back down on the bed as I was eating I started day dreaming again I remember watching a deer giving birth to its foe I watched her struggle from a tree top I stayed still for what felt like hours as she struggled and she finally managed to push her foe out I was happy I cried. I wiped away the tears and saw something was wrong the foe wasn't moving the deer kept pushing it with its nose and ate the placenta she made noises as to calling out for her stillborn foe and I cried with her. I knew all to well what she was going through she layed there with her foe for days and weeks and I just couldn't stray too far I knew what was going to happen she was going to die of a broken heart and I was right. She died laying next to her decomposing foe I dug a hole right next to where they layed and buried them I cried and screamed remembering my lost little angel. I put the food down and wiped away my tears I layed back down looking at the bucket in the corner of the empty room and couldn't help but smile. So much time a free bird, a free spirit and now locked in a room with a bucket and a mattress and candles. The monster who had captured me was just a broken human who wanted someone to complete him and I couldn't blame him. I was also a broken human I knocked on the door and he opened it he stood there looking down at me with his dark brown eyes he finally looked down at the half eaten food and shut the door as I stood there frozen I couldn't talk or move. I laid back down and started day dreaming again I remember my husband our wedding day that felt like a fairy tale we had it all. The supportive families loving parents and alot of siblings we had planned on starting a family right away starting on our honeymoon we had a 10 bedroom house with a 5 acre property and a guest house,a pool house and a 12 ft. Pool it was perfect we planned having 2 kids of our own and adopting and fostering more children. My life would have revolved around children which I loved. But life had other plans I had 6 miscarriages in the span of 3 years and kept trying until finally after all the heartache and little graves a had a full term pregnancy a little girl as strong as her father. The door suddenly opened and he stared at me walked towards the bucket picked it up and left. I went back to remembering the birth of my angel I wanted to do it naturally no pain medication I went into sudden labor and waddled to my car got in and called my husband I remember how happy he sounded he said he was rushing to the hospital and hung up. I made it to the hospital when the pain started getting alot worse and something felt off I remember not being able to get out of the car and a young gentleman helping me into the hospital I laid in bed and the doctor yelled at me to push and I did I couldn't wait to welcome my daughter to the world. I pushed one last time and out she came purple and blue I started crying I knew what was going on they tried to revive her but I yelled at them to stop I just wanted to hold her and she was beautiful she had bright red hair just like her father they handed me her small body and I cried even more what was I going to tell him I looked up and a nurse walked in and pulled the doctor aside I assumed it was about someone else but again I was wrong he walked towards me crying and said my husband had died in a car accident rushing over and got hit by a drunk truck driver I screamed. I remember feeling dead i couldn't breath I saw all the nurses tearing up and some just bawling I held on tight to my little angel all that I had left in life. I remember calling family and friends telling them from the hospital I couldn't bring myself to go home I finally let them take away my daughter I just felt numb like someone just took away my ability to feel anything. I left out to the wilderness and didn't look back there was nothing for me to go back to. He came back in with the bucket and set it back down he looked at me and left again. He had captured me while I slept and it had been about 1 week and he never spoke to me no matter how much I tried talking to him he didn't hurt me just kept me there and I tried escaping but failed and he was mad at me I could tell because he wouldn't stare at me as long as he used to. I missed the day light the feeling on my skin the fresh air that filled my lungs. He opened the door and said "you are allowed to leave" and I didn't question it I stood up and walked out u never imagined it being that easy after so many horror movies and documentaries of how captured people almost never made it out alive but I ran for freedom the fresh air filling my lungs my skin soaking in the sun the birds singing I missed it all. I ran and soon was faced with a cliff with a very long fall I ran even faster and jumped I heard a faint "no" but it was to late I had jumped and was faced with all the pain of losing everything all over again and was happy it was all coming to an end I know I was going to meet my husband and daughter in another life or something but I was ready I was at peace once again.