Erasing Johnathan

Have you ever wondered why there’s always so many things to do all the time? If you haven’t then I’m sure you’re lying. It’s usually the first thought on people’s minds when they first get up in the morning. I’m sure you know what I mean. After that first eye opens, then the other. You take at least three to four seconds to stretch while yawning. Then, you just lay there. You lay there without a single thought in your mind until you’re asking yourself the big question: ‘What am I going to do today?’. Don’t worry, I asked myself too. My answer is always the same: ‘There’s always so much to do.’.

I was myself from my groggy stupor and lunge myself off the bed towards my ghoulish corner of weights. I’ll be skipping that today. I take a second to pace the room, looking for something yet nothing at the same time. I’ve found it. The ADHD meds I’ve been taking since I was six and have vowed to finish taking by eighteen. Just two more months is all. I shove two in my mouth, swallow them down, and sigh heavy. Usually, I can put a word to my emotions before I take the meds, but today is different. My brain wonders if going to school would be the smartest move, or if faking an end of summer cold would be the better move.

Still, nothing, not even my preposterous brain can stop today from happening. My absence would be like a small black hole. Everyone would notice and find a way to poke and prod. Stay calm, I tell myself. Today marks the beginning of the ending. The last chance to get it right. Senior year, bring your worst.

“Wreck! Get your ass downstairs before you miss the bus! I won’t be taking you to school today!”

I give myself a once over in the mirror. My most prized Metallica shirt couples with multicolor checkered Vans, faded black denim jeans with the slightly altered cuts in them, and a haircut that screams screw you I’m not exactly emo looks back at me almost with a wink. I so got this. I grab my backpack from behind the door, sling it over my shoulder and fling the door open. I run down the stair, hopping over the last three steps and into the kitchen.

“What were you doing up there, masturbating?”

“It’s a bit early in the day for me to do that. Check back around lunch.”

Chief Sheriff Angela Mining, or Mom as I call her. Making a three-course breakfast that I have no idea where she gets the time to do it before going to the station, she laughs at our morning banter as she positions me to sit at the table. Every burner on the stove is lit and covered with either a skillet or pot. It’s a running joke here: big meal for a small family. I throw my backpack under the table and Mom nearly jumps out her skin.

“Jesus man you scared me with that.”

“I could be quieter if I went back to sleep.”

“What kind of mother would I be if I let you miss the first day of the new school year?”

“Not really sure what everyone else would think, but I know you’re great either way.”

“Don’t be a smartass. I haven’t even had my coffee yet.”

“You should have some before you leave today. Everyone down at the precinct would agree with me too.”

“Coffee or not, it’s my job to be a hard ass.”

Mom brings over a plate of scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, and French toast topped with whipped cream, maple syrup, and strawberries. I can hear my stomach growling anticipation. I dig a fork into the eggs and make my way through the plate of deliciousness. I look at Mom who’s running around the kitchen multitasking to eat some toast and make herself some coffee as she spills creamer on her badge.

Mom is the pride of the police department. The best of the worst as far as attitude goes. I’ve been down to the precinct many times just to witness her interrogating criminals or yelling at colleagues for not doing their jobs correctly. In the past year along, she has put away so many criminals that she’s gotten more job offers from larger towns, but she’s turned down every invitation. When I ask why, she tells me it’s because she loves this little town and that it’s a good place to raise my brother and me. I think there’s more to the story, but I’ll wait to pry about it. If it wasn’t for her this past summer, I definitely wouldn’t be able to show my face in school today.

“I know I might be stepping on a landmine here Wreck,” she starts, “but I need to know if you’ll be safe going to school today.”

My stomach begins to churn. The amazingness of the breakfast turns to ash in my mouth. I gulp it down anyway.

“Can we not talk about this.”

“I’m just worried about you. I’m sure the school board will understand considering the incident. They’ll act if anything starts up again.”

“Something smells great down here! I hope I’m not to late to join in!”

“You’re never to late for anything doll. Always right on time.”

Aly comes around from the stairs and hugs Mom from behind long enough before turning her around for a kiss. It used to feel strange seeing Mom with another woman, but I’ve gotten used to it now. As their kissing and cuddling comes to an end, Aly takes a second to scan the room and finally noticing my presence at the table. She abruptly releases Mom as her red cheeks are forced into a half smile.

“Sorry about that Wreck. I wasn’t paying attention and didn’t notice you there.”

She makes her way to the table as Mom giggles while pouring herself more coffee. Aly sits across from me as Mom sits a plate of breakfast in front of her. I continue eating my own breakfast as I watch them talk. They’ve been dating almost a year now. It was a huge shock when Mom introduced her as her lover. I had no objections of course. It had been a long time since I’d seen her that happy. Ever since our dad had left her for another woman during a business trip to the Philippines, she had been depressed and Aly fixed that for her. Aly became like a second mom and more of a dad than my real one had ever been.

Unlike Mom, Aly is a little late to get up. She’s a financial consultant and a seamstress for a bridal shop here in town, so she gets to have a lot of down time and doesn’t actually do any work nearly until the afternoon. I’ve told her before that she doesn’t need to apologize for showing affection for Mom in front of me, but I don’t think she can help it since I freaked out the first time that they kissed on the first family outing. I wasn’t used to it back then, but I think it may have caused some sort of trauma for her.

“Is Bear not up yet Angie? He’s going to be late.”

“I don’t think he’ll be going today. I think he’s too afraid still even though it is the start of a new school year.”

“Even though it’s a new school year, there’ll still be the same kids there. It looks like he might be home schooled this year again. I’ll do some searching for home schooling lessons.”

The sound of a horn honking has all of us looking through the window of the patio door. As if our minds have synced, we all yell that the bus has come.

“Shit, I didn’t know it was this late. Wreck, get going now before you miss the school bus you ding dong!”

I jump up with my last piece of French toast in my mouth. I grab my backpack and sling it over my shoulder. I run up to Mom to give her a hug goodbye for the day.

“You have to get going yourself Mom or you’ll be late to meet the new officers. Be safe out there.”

We laugh at each other. I say goodbye to Aly as I rush out of the patio door to catch the school bus. I jump over the bushes and run just as the door to the bus tries to close. I’m nearly there when I slam into something. I try to balance myself to keep from falling to the ground by grabbing the door to the bus. I hear the driver swear and open the doors before they close on my fingers.

“You damn kids! Every year at this time I go through this crap with you all! Hurry on to the bus!”

I hear what the driver is saying, but I’m more worried about the banging in my head.

“Dammit! What did I hit?”

“You hit me asshole.”

I look down to find a girl I’ve never seen before sprawled on the ground. She’s holding her head in her hands and looks as if she is in pain. We must have had a head on collision. I extend my hand to help her up, but she smacks it away. She stands up on her own and dusts off her faded black denim jeans and her shirt that looks just like mine. Her black heeled boots click against the ground as she stands and adjusts her backpack. She is only a few inches shorter than me with legs so long and slender. Her long brown hair is down her back, the top covered by a black fashion beret hat. I stare at her for what feels like forever until she looks at me. Her eyes are a magnificent green covered in black eye shadow. I have never seen eyes that color.

“Hey lovebirds, are you getting on today or not?”

“We are not lovebirds.” She blows back.

The driver clicks his tongue and motions for us to get on. She makes her way onto the bus without hesitation and sits in the first row. I make my way up the stairs slowly. I can’t take my eyes off her. I stop and stare as she places teal blue spiked headphones on, turning her music up and looking out the window. I want to know her. I want to know her name. Before I can ask, the bus driver fires at me to keep moving and I do. I make my way to the back as I still stare at her.

“Hey there Wreck!”

I break out of my trance when I hear my name. Louis is waving at me and gesturing to the seat next to him closest to the aisle. I continue my way through and sit next to him, no longer able to see that girl I have never known.