Happy to Help
“...then she exploded. There was screaming, crying, throwing and it just came from nowhere,” the burly 19 year old ranted, dragging his hands down his face in frustration. I almost felt sorry him. Almost.
“Mate, you cheated on her. Twice,” I said almost as frustrated as him, except I had good reason. This being the second time Ryan had messed up his relationship, it was also the second time he’d come to me for help.
“Blame the hormones? Come on, dude. You never turn anyone away. Please. I love her.”
Liar. If you truly loved her you would’ve broken up with her, instead of hurting her like this but my morals aside, he’s right. I’d built up a reputation amongst the people in my small town. The girl who gives favours, your own personal fairy godmother, sometimes for free, usually for payment. From simply getting someone the rarest pair of Js to helping a certain misguided, uncontrollably horny young man convince his girlfriend not to break up with him. Even though he so badly deserved to be dropped on his ass, I’d still help him and if his girlfriend is dumb enough to stay with him (which she will, I have 99.9% success rate) it’s none of my business. Still, I can’t help but feel a slight twang in my chest at the thought of coercing this girl into staying in a very unhealthy relationship.
“I’ll give you a 20,” he said after a long pause. It’s like he read my mind. I grabbed the note from his hand giving him a broad smile and told him exactly what to do.
“Thanks Vee,” he said after a thorough outline of the plan.
"Happy to help," I said as he finally left me to the peace and quiet of the college library. With a yawn, I opened up my psychology textbook, being so unexplainably awesome gets exhausting sometimes.
1 hour of drowsy studying and I was ready to call it a day. Still not 100% sure what Freud was going on about, I packed up my studying material and defeatedly exited the library doors, preparing myself for the 20 minute walk home. While walking through the park I saw a couple sitting on a bench at the perfect spot on the hill. It being almost 7pm in September, the sun had set to the perfect point where the sun had melted into orange and red rivers in the sky. The scene looked like something from the end of your favourite romcom. As I studied the picture properly, I rolled my eyes. It was Ryan. Following the plan down to the exact placement of his hands and the look in his girlfriend’s eyes proved that she was falling for it. Poor girl never stood a chance, I shook my head and continued on my way.
I did a lot of things for others but the people problems are definitely the easiest, for the most part I don’t even charge for them. Despite myself, I especially love getting people together, helping with unrequited love is one of my most popular and most rewarding services. How I manage to help others with relationships doesn’t really make any sense, at 22 I still have no experience in one myself. I audibly sigh but before I can fully dwell in my loneliness, something puts me on edge. It could just be the darkening skies over the short alleyway that gets me home from the park that’s causing my paranoia but I quicken my footsteps anyways, not turning behind me to see the figure watching curiously in camouflage of the shadows.
