Someone

After saying goodbye and watching my dad drive away towards the airport, I locked myself in my room and stared out the window, looking out into the field. Having memories of him and me running through the flowers, holding hands. That one day he made a promise to me, we were sitting in the tall grass, he took my hand in his and said, "See these wrinkles?" I nodded, "Yours match mine, which means we will always have each other, even if we are far away." I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. My father always told me, "If you ever feel like you might cry, make sure it's worth crying over." That’s when I was four, he had helped me through my first years of school, now I am starting high school, said to be the most difficult part of my life.

I texted him back, with no reply. He was going away for a whole year, maybe longer. Why did he leave me like this, how could he! I smashed everything I could see, I threw my lamp against the wall, tore by blankets, and kicked my wall till the wood started to break. I heard banging on my door.

"Alejandra, open this door immediately!" It was my sister, she was going to take care of me till either, dad came back or I was old enough to live by myself. I opened the door, she pushed me onto my bed and slammed the door.

"What would dad say if he saw you acting like this?" Gwendolyn was always the perfect daughter, she used dad against me whenever I got upset or did something stupid.

"He would never allow this in his house, you need to respect him even if he is away." She was nineteen now, yeah, a big age gap. Me being thirteen is hard enough, but when you have to live with your older sister, it's a whole lot harder.

"I know that Gwen, I am just really upset right now." I covered my eyes with my hands to hide my tears, I felt her sit down next to me and put her arms around me.

"I know."

"I need him, I can't do anything or make any decisions without him." I must have sounded like such a little kid.

"Hey, you can call him whenever you need to."

"He won't even reply to my texts!" I lay down on my bed.

"Cause he's testing you, he wants to see how you would do if..." She stopped in the middle of her sentence.

"If what?" I needed to know what was going on.

"Nevermind, you don't have anything to worry about." She smiled but I couldn't smile back.

"Is that the truth?" Oh my gosh, I sounded just like my father.

"Yes, it is, clean up and get some rest. No more fits, I will call him." I knew she would too.

"Don't worry about it, im fine." She gave me one last hug before leaving the room.

My phone buzzed. Quick as lightning , I picked it up and checked my messages. He finally replied, but in the most dad like way possible. I asked him if there was any way of visiting or talking while he was away.

"We can call." Shortest answer there is, then I got another message.

"Your sister is there to help you, if you don't listen, we are going to have a chat."

Oof, hard smack in the face, bet she texted him about my room incident. I sent a smiley face. ":)" My favourite reply to anything he says that's like that.

"I am serious Alejandra, don't think for a second that I don't hear about everything you do or say. Please be careful with how you act."

"Yes, sir." He was a very serious person when it came to me being, well, me. Gwen wasn't going to deal with anything, I knew that.

"I love you." I didn't feel like leaving my phone with the messages like that.

"I love you too, tell your sister for me."

"Will do."

Honestly, I have had some of my friends over one time, but dad scared them while we were eating dinner, he was in one of his serious moods. Sometimes I get that too, but it usually ends badly on my side of the conversation. Anyway, he was in one of his moods, and he scared them, but he is a really kind and gentle person. Only once you get to know him though, even I get a little scared when we talk. Maybe it's because he works out every morning for his job and is very muscular, plus when he leans over me, he makes me feel like a really small and weak thing. I don't even know how to explain it, but it's scary when it happens, and believe me, you never want him to be angry with you.

I came down stairs and sat down with Gwen, she just finished setting the table for dinner. I rested my head on my hand, elbow on the table, and looked at dad's empty chair.

"Eat, you need to get to bed soon."

I looked up at her. "Why?"

She looked at me like she thought I was kidding, "School, tomorrows your first day." I closed my eyes and put my forehead on the edge of the table, looking at my feet.

"Shit." I whispered to myself.

"Same rules Andre, talk as if dad was here." I got upset again.

"Why, are you going to report me? Tell dad everything I say and do, are you the police now?"

"You better watch your mouth, I am not doing this, I am not telling dad anything."

I replied. "Then how did he know about me in my room?" She rolled her eyes at me.

"I'm not feeling well, I'm not hungry." i hadn't even dished up yet.

"Fine, then go to bed, don't come down for food when you are hungry."

Now she sounded like dad, maybe we just weren't meant to be in the same house together for this long. A year wasn't going to pass very fast, that's for sure.

I lied in bed for half an hour, thinking about how slow time would go by. My phone buzzed, I looked it over, it was dad. Gwen must have texted him again. "Alejandra, you aren't trying, I need you to be my good little girl. Is tomorrow your first day of high school?"

"Dad, it's hard, but I will do better. Yeah, it is."

"Tell me all about it, ok?"

"I wish you were here."

"Me too, But I have to do this job, then we can be together."

"Yeah, after a whole year."

"That's the longest it could take, but do you really believe I would be able to stay away that long?"

"No, of course not, what is the job anyway?"

"Nice try, but I can't tell anyone about it, please stop asking."

"Ok."

"I have to go now. Goodnight."

"Night."

I fell asleep quite quickly, when my alarm went off the next morning I shut it off right away, hoping Gwen hadn't heard it from downstairs. I'm not ready for high school, I need my dad here first. She came up and knocked on my door, three knocks as always, dad only knocked twice before he came in, it's easy to tell who is behind my door. But why would that matter now, the only other person here is Gwen.

"You'd better get up before I call dad, you aren't going to be late." Ugh, sisters, sometimes they are blessings, sometimes just the opposite. Dad wouldn't be happy if she called him now, early in the morning, telling him I wouldn't get up for school, it'd be a nightmare for the three of us.

I got dressed and went downstairs to get my shoes, I grabbed them and ran down to dads room. First day gone, nothing was different, everything was in order and in its right place, the only things he took with him was his clothes and shoes, probably some papers of some kind. But overall, everything would look normal if someone came in, they would think he was still here. He had all his art hung up on the walls, books on the shelves, and the bed was made. I loved his room way more then mine, it was always so comfy, but only when he is there too.

"Andre, I'm leaving right now!" Gwen always sounds like dad, I do too sometimes. I quickly put on my converse and ran up to the kitchen.

"You haven't even brushed your hair yet, grab your stuff, i'll be in the car."

"Okay, I'll be out in a sec." I brushed my hair and grabbed my backpack.

We drove to school. "Gwen, please don't tell dad I was late."

She smiled, "As long as you hurry into class right now." I smiled and got out of the car, I walked as fast as I could to the door. I turned around and she was gone, I took a deep breath and went in. Everyone was running around everywhere, I didn't know when my classes started or where they were. I walked to the office.

"Excuse me." an older man looked up at me.

"What do you need?" He looked tired.

"I don't have a class schedule, can you get one for me, please?" I tried to sound as polite and nice as possible.

He smiled, "Yes, what's your name?"

"Alejandra Santos."

He looked at me and smiled, "Are you one of Jonathan Santos' daughters?"

"Yes, do you know him?" My father was a very secretive person, I was surprised he even gave his name to this man.

"Oh, yes, he went here when he was in high school too, I hope you are nothing like him." I suppose he could have acted different in high school than he does now.

"Why would you say that?" I wanted to know about my dad so badly, he never told stories about when he was younger.

"Some things are best left in the past, here you are." He handed me a paper.

"Thank you." I walked out into the hallway to find it completely quiet.

After awkwardly walking around the whole school about six times, I found my second class just before the bell rang, then I followed the other students to the next and then the next.

After finally getting back into the car, Gwen wasn't going to ask about my day, she knew that was the worst question to ask after the first day. When we were home, I went down to dads room, I laid on his bed and prayed he would get fired or something. I know, that's probably not what he wants but I need him, now more than ever. I sat up and looked around the room.

"I have to run to the store, stay here!" Gwen yelled down the stairs knowing that's where i'd be. I was always in dads room, whether he was home or not, its like my second room. I remember sneaking down from my room and laying on his bed when he was working late. He would look up from his desk and see me getting under his blankets. He had glasses that only I knew about, it was our secret, not even Gwen knows about them. He said he needs them but doesn't like them, apparently they're annoying, but he looks awesome when he puts them on.

My phone buzzed, but I didn't look at it right away, I already knew who it was and what they were going to say. "How was your day, hope you finally met new people."

"No, I didn't really meet anyone." My day was the last thing I wanted to talk about."When do you think you'll be back?" "It's too early to tell, but I'll let you know if anything changes." "Okay. What was high school like for you?" I know i'm playing with fire asking this question, but sometimes, I just can't deal with people not telling me stuff. "Normal." It took him so long to answer. "What is normal, I still have no idea what i'm doing." "Just flow with it, follow everyone else, do what they are doing."

Isn't that just like him, only answering one of my questions. I guess I did do the same thing to him. If only he wasn't always acting like he was hiding something. I tried asking Gwen about it, she was just as in the dark as I was.

Since I was the only one home, I may as well take advantage of it. I casually walked over to his desk and sat down in his chair, debating whether I should explore a little or not. I opened the top left drawer of his desk and looked through some papers, boring work stuff, I opened another, and another, looking through everything.

Then I tried to open one and it wouldn't, I looked all over the desk and his room for a key, I couldn't find any. I sat there looking at the lock for a while, wondering what's inside. I can't try to pick the lock with a paperclip, he'd notice when he got back, i'm the only one who knows how to do that. I took a picture of the lock with my phone. I'll take it to the key shop tomorrow after school, I have a good friend who works there on Tuesdays. I moved everything back into its place and grabbed my backpack. I ran up to my room when I heard the car pull into the garage.

Gwen was in the kitchen starting dinner when I came down. I sat down in the living room and started reading one of my mystery books, I love books, but I love mystery's more.

"Andre, come set the table." I got up and went to the kitchen, she always told me what to do, only cause dad isn't here. When he is here and she tries to tell me what to do, I ask dad with my eyes, he usually nods. Unless she starts being demanding, then dad would talk to her quietly and she would nod. Or if she is tired she will talk back to him, which isn't the best idea. She usually listens to him, but sometimes she just gets tired of him always being in command even though she is "an adult who can make her own decisions."

It always works out in the end, somewhat. After setting the table, I started walking up the stairs to my room. "Where are you going?" She sounded irritated, so I didn't want to make her more upset.

"I'm just putting my book away."

she sighed. "Sorry, just come back down okay?"

"Yep." I knew she was tired, I didn't want to make things harder for her.

"Is there anything I can help you with before dinner?"

She smiled, "Yeah, actually, can you bring the box down from the attic and put it in dads room?"

I didn't know he kept things up there, so. "Sure."

I went up to the attic and opened the latch door, I used to come up here all the time when I was angry or just upset and needed to get away from everyone. Whenever we had company I would run up here as fast as I could, dad would be upset with me after they left, but he mostly understood why I didn't like talking to strangers. He never says I'm shy, cause i'm not, I just don't want to know anymore people. The first time dad wanted me to meet someone, he told me about them and how he doesn't want me hiding. Then when they arrived, I would pretend to go get something from my room, then hide in the attic. He would come up as soon as they left and talk about why I hid, even after he asked me not to. Then the next time the person came over, dad didn't tell me they were coming, but I saw them drive up the driveway and that gave me just enough time to run to the attic. Dad was almost out of ideas, until he got the one where I sit at the table while he answered the door, I tried to sneak away again but he grabbed me and set me on his lap while they talked, and of course the man talked to me, I didn't want to answer any of his questions.

He asked me if I liked school, I said.

"No." He asked me if I liked anything.

I said, "I like being by myself and I don't want to talk to you."

Dad gave me the eye, which meant I shouldn't say stuff like that. Me being a regular six year old, I rolled my eyes at him and looked in the opposite direction, the man laughed. I tried to get away, but dad was always way to strong for me to even move a finger, when I was small anyway. He held me so tight, I couldn't get away, ever. The man asked me why I liked being by myself.

I said "Because I'd rather be reading."

He took that and made about a million more questions for me, dad still held me tight. The man asked me if I wanted anything special.

I said. "Yes, I want you to leave."

He smiled, dad finally said something.

"You aren't being very cooperative, Andre."

I smiled, cause that's exactly what I was trying to do. The man asked me what I liked to eat, I said nothing, he asked me if I have a favourite movie, I said nothing, or a favourite book, still, I didn't reply.

Dad was starting to lose his patience with me, I just closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest. I didn't want to answer anymore questions, the man said it's alright and that he could come back a different time, but dad said I was just being a little difficult. Just a little, then dad sat me up so I was facing the man and told me to answer any questions he asked.

The man told me that he needed to know some things so he knew I was happy living here, since my mom left us and dad had to work a lot.

"Do you miss your mom?"

I felt my heart turn to the dark side or something cause what I said next wasn't what the man was expecting at all.

"Leave us alone, I love it here, no, I don't miss my mom because she was a bitch and I want you to leave our house right now, or i'll go get my bb-gun out of dad's closet and shoot you!"

Dad covered my mouth and told the man he was sorry and that I was sorry too, I yanked off his hand and yelled at the man to go to hell. Dad told me to go sit on his bed, I ran down and away as soon as he let me go.

He shook hands with the man and he left, dad came down the stairs with his hands in his pockets and sat down next to me.

He sighed, "I didn't know you knew any cuss words."

I felt like crying but I didn't, I just sat there on his bed thinking about how much trouble I was in.

"I don't."

He picked me up and set me on his lap, not tight like before, but gently holding me.

"I'm sorry he asked about mom."

I buried my face again so he wouldn't see me crying, he soothed me, but as soon as he saw that I was fine he started to scold me about what I had said.

"Never threaten anyone like that again, and if I hear you say one more curse word, you'll be in big trouble, do you understand?."

"Yes, sir."

I swear, I was scared to death. But dad always hugged me after scolding me, and that made me feel better