New Student
After being stuck in the Underworld for what might as well have been an eternity, Hades finally convinced his brothers to give him another job. They ended up putting Hades in charge of The Academy For Gifted Deities. Unfortunately for Hades, this job was almost as miserable as hanging around a bunch of dead souls.
“Ayo! Principal Hades! You wanted to see me?” The young Apollo walked into Hades room, accompanied by Hermes.
“Principal Hades did you hear how our dad got another chick-” Apollo quickly covered Hermes mouth.
“Shut up, Hermes. You always gossiping!” Apollo angirly muttered while still holding Hermes mouth closed. Apollo and Hermes kept wrestling until they took notice of another kid in the room, making them stop completely.
“Glad you idiots could finally stop.” Hades sighed. “This here is Ares, god of War, blah blah blah.” Hades tone earned him some blank stares. “I’m busy doing principle shit, so show him around, tell him everything he needs to know, alright? Now get out of my office” Hades waved them away. Apollo, Hermes, and Ares awkwardly stood outside Hades door.
“So, your name is Ares huh?” Apollo finally broke the awkwardness, Ares simply nodded, still in shock over Hades. “Where you from?”
“I live on Mt. Olympus just like you!” Ares responded offended Apollo didn’t know of him.
“Hmm… You must be pretty important.” Apollo said to himself out loud
`Interesting, never thought I’d see Ares again’ Hermes thought.
“Well if you want to survive in this Zoo they call a School then you might wanna stick by me kid.” As Apollo talked, the bell rang.
“Yeah you’re gonna wanna stick by us.” Hermes chimed in, making Apollo look at him annoyed.
“Look-” Apollo pulled Ares closer to him “Lesson #1 newbie, don’t tell Hermes shit! He’s the messenger God, all he does is gossip and talk shit. My dad even told me he used to be Hades personal messenger, bros a rat!”
“Damn.” Apollo and Ares looked back at Hermes. “Yeah-” Ares nodded “He looks like he’d snitch on anyone.”
“What are y’all talking about?” Hermes inquired.
“Nothing! Damn.” turning back to Ares. “So who’s your Homeroom teacher bro?” Ares grabbed a folded sheet of paper from his pocket.
“Miss.... Medusa?” Ares spoke making Apollo and Hermes look at eachother
“Oh no.” Hermes couldn’t help but saying.
“Come here.” Apollo pulled Hermes near him once again. “Let me tell you something before we go to this class! Miss Medusa is the manifestation of the grossest act that can be committed, but in physical form! She’s unjustifiably ugly! Like, so ugly that you might just kill yourself onsight! So ugly that-”
“Ok! I get it, what’s your point?” Ares interrupted him.
“Boy just don’t throw up!” Apollo finally got to the point. “Cause if you offend her, she might turn you to stone!” Apollo warned Ares.
“Yeah right, why would a teacher do that?” Ares asked
“Okay,” Apollo said, allowing Ares to believe whatever he wants. “Go ahead and play with it, don’t say I didn’t warn you” Apollo finished as he, Hermes, and Ares finally reached their homeroom. Apollo put his hands on the door and took a deep calming breath.
“Dawg, I’m telling you, be cool.” Apollo opened the door and the three students walked in.
“Apollo, Hermes, I see you brought someone with you.” Medusa spoke.
“Yes Ma’am I’m-” Ares finally looked at his homeroom teacher, flinching and stepping back a little. ‘What the fuck! Her dirty dreads are actually snakes! And why is her lips so thin and crusty! Why is her whole face so crusty! Oh god!’ Ares internally screamed.
“Uhhh.. He’s just a little shy Miss Medusa, especially around Goddesses, you know how it is” Apollo nervously laugh.
‘I thought goddesses were supposed to be the most gorgeous beings in existence’ Ares began to cry.
“Awwww, it’s ok Ares. Everyone here is nice.” Medusa put her hands on Ares shoulders.
‘It’s touching me,’ Ares covered his mouth trying not to throw up.
“Why don’t you introduce yourself to the class, no need to be shy.” Medusa asked him.
“Yes Ma’am.” Ares said regaining his composure. “Hello everyone, My name is Ares... God of War, ya know? My favorite color is blood red, ughhh... Favorite hobbies would have to be committing genocide towards my enemies and long walks, ughhh.... Let’s see, I think that’s it.” Ares spoke casually.
“Okay, very nice Ares. Anyone have any questions for Ares?” Medusa asked the class.
“Yeah, I do!” Achilies stood up, “You’re the god of War right? So you nice with the hands, huh?” Achilies asked as the class started to groan.
“Um, sure I like to think I’m pretty decent when it comes to throwing hands...” Ares replied.
“Can you take me though?” Achilies clapped his hands together.
“Achilies!” Apollo shouted with an annoyed tone. “Stop picking fights with everyone just because you a little cold with the hands! All we gotta do is hit you in your heels, sit down!” Apollo ranted.
“Bro, Apollo, sit down! You’re the God of Music, Poetry, and Medicine. Go somewhere and write a poem or something!” Achilies replied back.
“Boy what?” Apollo stands up. “I might be nice with them words but I’m nice with these hands too wassup?” Apollo was taunting Achilies.
“Calm down you two!” Medusa gave them a scary look that made them sit down. “You can take your seat Ares, thank you.” Medusa gently talked to Ares as he took his seat.
“Since we have a new student I’ll explain the purpose of this academy and our expectations.” Medusa started to talk. “We decided to start a school exclusively for you descendants of Gods.” a student raised their hand, causing Medusa to stop. “Yes, Plutus?”
“If this is a school for Gods, then why is Achilies here?” Plutus asked
“I’m glad someone is finally addressing this.” Helen chimed in.
“What are you talking about? I’m God on my dad’s side!” Achilies refuted
“Achilies, your dad is like one fourth god.” Triton said.
“Man whatever. Stop acting like I’m some mortal.” Achilies scoffed.
“Achilies! If you’re not a mortal then why did your mom have to stick you in the River Styx so you wouldn’t die someday? That sounds like some mortal ass shit to me! What god worries about mortality?” Apollo jumped in.
“Okay, y’all can keep talking but which one of you can see me with the hands?” Achilies looked around waiting for an answer. “That’s what I thought, so don’t worry about if I’m a mortal or not, PLUTUS! None of y’all whooping me anyways.” Achilies finished making his point, while everyone avoided contact. Homeroom continued on until the bell rang.
“Alright that’s the bell, I’ll see you back here for History.” Medusa dismissed the class.
Apollo and Ares continued talking as they walked through the halls.
“Yeah I can’t stand that Achilies, I’m telling yo-”
“HEY BOYS! yooohoooo!” A group of giggling girls screamed. “Who’s the new kid?” The girls said waving.
“Whoa, who are they?” Ares said waving back.
“That’s just Iris and her sisters.” Apollo told Ares.
“Might as well lay down some game.” Ares said about to walk over to the girls.
“Bro you do not wanna do that.” Apollo said stopping him. “Those girls with Iris, are harpies! They lure you in with their looks, then feed off your negative emotions until you’re in a hollow state. You’ll be a shadow of what you once were, a man with NO ambitions! Plus they’re some bird ass bitches. Literally.” Apollo finished explaining, making Ares look at them again and notice their wings.
“What makes them any different from other girls though?” Ares asked.
“Oh nothing, I just wanted to sound smart.” Apollo quickly admitted.
“So we talking to them or not?” Ares asked.
“Oh definitely, just don’t catch any feelings.” Apollo said as they raced over to the harpies.
“Yeah I had to let that boy hector know wassup, I was working them until they jumped me and shit-” Achilies was bragging to the harpies until he was interrupted by Apollo.
“Achilies! Stop bragging about beating up on some mortals, you not impressing anyone” Apollo started arguing with Achilies for the 100th time.
“Apollo you keep talking shit but I know you sent Paris mortal ass to shoot me in my heels,” Achilies exposed the truth.
“Man what? I did no such thing! Stop making excuses just cause some humans worked you a little!” Apollo said looking away.
“Uh huh! I bet you won’t fight me though?” Achilies put his hands up.
“Wassup then? I’m tired of you thinking you’re hot shit cause you beat up on some mortals, try that shit on me!” Apollo took a fighting stance as well.
“So what’s up with you ladies?” Ares started talking to the Harpies while Apollo and Achilies fought.
“Hehe, Hi.”The four girls giggled.
“So you’re the God of war? No wonder you look so fit.”One of the harpies known as Aello said feeling on Ares biceps.
“Well you know-” Ares said blushing. “I work out a little.” he started nervously laughing.
Apollo and Achilies were at this point breathing heavily. ‘Damn, mortal or not this human kinda strong…’ Apollo started staring at Achilies’ heels. ‘I just need one good shot…’ Apollo started smiling maliciously.
“Just give it a rest, Apollo” The voice scared Apollo as he turned around and noticed his older sister, Athena. “There’s no way you’re going to be able to hit Achilies’ heels while he’s on guard. Your choices right now are to either catch him off guard or settle for a stalemate.” Athena the Goddess of Wisdom and Strategy concluded.
“I’m tired.” Apollo paused to take some deep breaths. “Of you interrupting my fights and giving me reasonable battle strategies!” Apollo said angrily as he continued breathing heavily.
“Just looking out for you, dear brother.” Athena began walking away, “If you don’t get to your next class, big sister Persephone will be mad at you, again.” Athena walked away to her next class.
“You know…. She’s kind of cute.” Achilies said watching her walk away.
“......Don’t even think about it.” Apollo said looking at him blankly. “ARES LET’S GO!” Apollo shouted, Ares ignored him and continued flirting with the Harpies. “ARES!” Apollo finally got Ares attention making him flinch.
“Alright alright,” Ares gave in to Apollo’s demands. “See you ladies later.” Ares said trying to sound cool.
“Okay MAGGOTS! 100 laps on the track!” Persephone shouted.
“So, that’s your sister? Why does she look so…. demonic?” Ares asked Apollo while running.
“She’s been like that ever since Principal Hades kidnapped her and made her his wife.” Apollo explained.
“.....oh…” Ares didn’t really know where to start “.....So your dad was just… cool with that?” Ares finally managed to ask.
“Couldn’t really say shit to the guy whose job is to watch after dead souls forever… I mean what does he have to lose?” Ares thought about it for a second, it was a fair enough point. “Plus, she’s the goddess of vegetation. She kept annoying pops with that meat is murder vegan shit, honestly Hades did us a solid” Apollo added
‘seriously what is wrong with your family…’ Ares thought to himself.
“By the way, which God’s are your parents?” Apollo finally asked.
“Honestly I don’t know, I’ve heard whispers but-” before Ares could finish he was interrupted by Achilles yelling.
“APOLLO!! Let’s finish this once and for-” before Achilles could finish Apollo had already hit him in his heels “FUCK, AGHHH, GOD DAMN YOU! STUPID MOTHERAGHHH! I NEED TO STOP WEARING FUCKIN SANDLES TO SCHOOL! I TOLD MY MOM TO GET THE DAMN STEEL BOOTS AHHH FUCK!” Achilles yelled while holding his foot.
“Should’ve done that WAY earlier” Apollo said with Ares nodding in agreement as they started to run again.
“IMMA GET YOU FOR THIS APOLLO!” Achilles cried.
