We start with him
“excuse me this isn’t a buffet you’re going to have to pay for those” i turn around to see a short guy who looks like he works at the bowling alley.
“what are you on about?” i say acting completely oblivious.
“the sweets in your mouth. you have to pay for those” he started to get flustered.
“what, some pick ‘n’ mix?” i stare down at his name tag to find out his name. “listen beverly, i’m not being funny but- hang on isn’t beverly a girls name?”
beverly starts to get more annoyed at my quick comments.
“were your parents just mentally ill or did they name you that on purpose? oh maybe you were born with both sets of genitalia so at birth they sewed up your clunge and kept the dick part?”
“can i get security over here” beverly says quickly into his walkie talkie.
“so are you like, a chick with a dick?”
“you’re coming with me!” beverly grabs me by the arm and takes me down so that i can’t run away.
“HELP! SOMEONE! IM BEING ASSAULTED BY A CHICK WITH A DICK!” i shout into the walkie talkie. “THEY SEWED UP HIS CLUNGE! THEY SEWED UP HIS CLUNGE!”
two buff guys come running up to me and i have to think of a way to escape quickly. i start to squirm and pretend to be having some sort of fit or seizure.
“quick! get off him he’s having some kind of reaction!” i hear one of the security guards say above me.
as they all get up off me i quickly make a sprint for the exit. one of the guys corners me so i run into the bowling lane and attempt to escape through the little hole thingy at the end of it. before i can crawl faster one of the guys grabs me by my leg and takes me to an office room. then they call the police and i get 100 hours of community service. wonderful.
