Chapter 1
"I love you, Grace," he says. We're only 1 month into our relationship. Hearing those words put my mind into panic mode.
Love? Do I even know what that word means? All my life I thought I knew what it meant to be in love. But I keep ending up in the same place. I keep getting hurt. I don't want to say that word to someone I barely know and risk getting hurt again.
"Did you hear me," he says, interuppting my thoughts. "Don't you love me back?"
"I don't know if I'm there yet," I reply sheepishly. "We've only known each other for one month and I just need more time to get my emotions straight."
I don't want to hurt him, but I just don't feel comfortable saying that word right now. I feel like I've just thrown it around in the past whenever a guy showed me an ounce of attention. I want to make this relationship work and take it slow. I'm sick of being hurt.
"Oh," he states with pain laced into his words.
"Just give me time, I just don't want to rush into this and end up ruining it," I say.
His voice lights up a little as the words come out of my mouth. "Oh okay! I thought you just didn't like me as much as I like you."
I don't even know if I like him to be honest. I just started dating this guy to get over my ex. I just couldn't move on and thought dating someone new would help me get my mind off of him. After all, it has been over a year since we broke up and I still can't help but think about him all the time. Oscar seems really nice though and I just need to give it time. I'm sure I'll start to like him. He seems perfect.
"No, I just need time and I want to take our relationship slow, that's all," I state.
After all, he knows that I'm still a little hung up on my ex. I told him as soon as we met and how he broke my heart into pieces.
I glance across the room at my clock. "Holy shit it's already 10:30pm! I gotta go Oscar, but I'll talk to you later!"
"Okay, talk to you soon," he states before I shut the phone.
"Hey Lainey," I shout out to the hallway. I listen for a reply, but come up short. "Laine!" I groan and get out of bed. Walking down the hallway, I hear something on the stove sizzling. Lainey sees me and exclaims, "I'm making some bacon!" I laugh, "Why are you cooking bacon at this time of night?"
"Well I was gonna make a salad, but we didn't have any meat to put in it except bacon, so here we are," she exclaims.
I grab a piece of the bacon as she scoops it into her salad bowl. "So guess what," I say in-between crunches. "Oscar said he loves me."
Lainey looks at me with wide eyes, "what? You haven't even met in person yet, how can you love someone you've never even met."
"Well he's just very passionate I guess," I say as I finish off the last bite.
"Or creepy," she adds in.
"He's not creepy! He's very sweet and friendly and charming-" I trail off.
"Yeah whatever, any guy I've never met, I don't trust," she says bluntly. "I still liked Will," she says under her breath.
My heart tightens just hearing his name. "You know how I feel about talking about him," I say sternly. "He was the first one I let in. And he broke my heart as soon as he had the chance."
