Chapter 1
They say that everything happens for a reason.
As a fairly average guy, I always lived life the easy way. I put in minimal effort and in turn that’s what I got out of it. I never was very social, I preferred sitting on the sidelines and watching the world pass me by. But that all changed when I met her.
I met Jenny back in high school, long brown hair, beautiful hazel coloured eyes. Her smile made my heart skip a beat. I pent up my courage to ask her to prom and to my surprise she said yes. That night I will never forget, but that’s another story. We started college together and I had never been as happy in my life. I had a reason to get up every morning, a reason to live my life.
However, as I said to begin with, I never gave much effort into life. This was true for all aspects and before long things started downhill. We had been together for 2 years and sixth months when Jenny told me she wasn’t happy. I remember because it was the day I got my long sought after promotion at work. I picked her up from a friend’s house, she was quiet and wouldn’t look me in the eye. I pulled up outside her flat and she sat there for a moment as if struggling to find the words. But she found them alright. It hit me like a bullet through the chest. I was stunned into silence for a little while, i was in utter disbelief.
“You’re joking, Right?” Three words that trickled out my mouth apprehensively. Struck down by her sombre gaze.
I watched her get out of the car and disappear inside. I sat there. For how long I’m not sure but it felt like time gave up on me. I decided to go to the bar, while not somewhere i frequent it felt like this situation called for some numbing. I drank for a while, watching people come and go to pass the time as more and more questions and scenarios ran through my mind. Kicked out at closing I sluggishly drove home. While usually I was a very upright lawful citizen, I was in no mood for a walk. I pulled into my drive and staggered into my home, into my bedroom and blacked out.
Weeks passed and I heard nothing, it killed me how everything changed so suddenly. I started drinking more, I gained some friends in the bar and got caught up in smoking. I was disappointed with life, I lived believing it was unfair for it to have happened to me. My mind neglecting all my mistakes.
I loved her too much and couldn’t let it go. I called her, pouring all my pent up feeling out. I begged and pleaded with her but it fell on deaf ears. She was done, she no longer loved me, no longer cared for me and no longer wanted to hear from me. I hung up the phone.
I drank more and smoked even more. I hated everything I did, I cut myself off from my family and my work suffered. I was fired but by this point, my body already too numbed by substance and anguish didn’t care. I went to the bar and I drank until it made me sick. Once again getting kicked out at closing the manager asked why I “never come here with friends”. I didn’t have the words to answer her and with a resigned smile i turned away.
I stumbled slightly into the car park and fumbled my keys into my car door. I drove my normal route coming up to the seaside rocks, towards the bend with the benches overlooking the waves. I felt a sudden wave of conviction wash over me as pushed my foot down to the floor and straightened the wheel. After bouncing up and over the curb onto the grass verge all that was left between me and the edge was the steel barrier, i closed my eyes.
Crashing through the barrier I barrelled off the side of the cliff, tears rolling down my face. I waited for the impact but it never came. Opening my eyes I was met with a gut wrenching view, suspended in the air above the now frozen waves i sat in confusion.
A dark monotone voice broke the silence.
“Ryan”
My name rang from the figure now sat to my left in the passenger seat. While not very tall or broadly built the figure was ominous with an eerie feeling to him. His movements were long drawn out and crooked. His face black and twisted out of known shape.
“What are you doing ... Ryan?”
His question snapped me back to my current situation, and all my anger and sorrow flooded back to me unlike the torrents of water now still below.
“Who are you to judge me!?” I shouted. “Life has always rejected me, struck me down and I’m sick of it!”
The figure seemed to scowl.
“This isn’t your decision to make” he sighed.
“Oh yeah!? What kind of pretentious shit is that?!” I was furious with his words.
“You don’t get to die without living, this isn’t where your story ends. You’re doing yourself a great injustice by doing this.” He spoke slowly and in the same calm manner.
“What do I have left? What do I have to live for?” My anger somewhat subsiding from the calm in voice.
“What if I told you; you can get past this, you can put this behind you, you will get another job, you can push past this addiction, you will find the one and this time you’ll do it right. You can give her all the attention you didn’t give in the past; all the date nights you never went on; this time you will be happy.”
I choked, struggling to hold back my sorrow.
“I don’t deserve that” I sobbed. Wiping my eyes on my sleeve.
“You have spent too much time wallowing in your sorrow,” he said. “Do not sell yourself short.”
“Is this really ... alright?” My words slowed, anticipating his answer.
“Naturally.” he affirmed. “Everyone deserves some happiness.”
I chuckled slightly, the thought of such a person preaching happiness being quite an amusing one.
“Thank you” I sighed. My eyes growing heavy.
“Live shouldn’t be wasted on such trivial matters. I don’t appreciate people trying to do my job fo-” his words trickled off as I fell unconscious.
I woke up in a hospital bed a few days later, or at least that’s how it seemed to me. The nurses would go on about the ‘tall and muscled’ not to mention ‘handsome’ man who brought me in. It just made me smile knowing that he chose his appearance based on the needs of a situation.
I was let out after a week since the terms of my arrival were never quite made clear. I had sustained no major injuries nor did I show any real sign of lunacy, perhaps because I thought it best to keep my thoughts in my head for now. I struggled to get back in my car for a while after that incident. Whether it was the memory of what I had done that night, or the fact that my car still sat on my drive in pristine condition when I got home that stopped me I'll never know.
However, life did start to take more shape after that.
