Diagnosis
It all started with Amanda getting frequent nose bleeds. She got them everywhere we went. At school, home, the library, even the grocery store. They were getting to be uncontrollable so our mom finally took her into the doctor who told my mom to apply a thin layer of petroleum jelly to the inside of Amanda's nostrils three times a day. This was supposed to keep her nostrils moisturized to prevent the bloody noses. After a few days we saw the results. Amanda was only getting occasional bloody noses now. After the bloody nose issue we all thought that she was okay. Nobody saw the weight she lost. Nobody knew about the night sweats. We saw the bruises on her legs that she would get from falling. Mom just said Amanda bruised easy like Aunt Allison. December of 2009 was when we all started to worry. Amanda got a cold. Or what we thought was a cold. When we've gotten colds in the past we usually got over them pretty fast, so when Amanda still had hers for ten days mom and dad took her to Dr. Anderson for help. Even the doctors didn't know what was wrong so they took tests. When they were done with all of the tests Dr. Anderson said when the results came in she would call mom. Seven days later is when mom got the call. The doctor wanted mom and dad to come in as soon as they could. December 21st is when mom and dad found out Amanda had cancer, Leukemia to be exact. They thought it would be best not to tell Amanda and I since we were only eight years old at the time. Christmas rolled around a few days later and mom and dad truly went out of their way to make sure Amanda had plenty. I remember now how mad I was that I only got 14 presents when Amanda got around 30. It was so stupid. If only I knew how much time I had left with my twin. Maybe I wouldn't have fought with her. Maybe I wouldn't have thrown a tantrum because I didn't get the new Bumblebee transformer I wanted. Maybe I would have helped Amanda when she said she asked for help taking her new Barbies upstairs. Maybe then I would have seen how tired she was and told mom. But I did fight with her. And I did throw a tantrum, and instead of helping her I threw one of her barbies away when she wasn't looking. I wish I could say that I was the best big brother I could have been to her, but I wasn't. In fact, I was the reason that she died.
