Chapter 1
By the age of 30 it’s fair to say that my life plan was well and truly off kilter, it was my goal to be living in my own flat by the age of 24 and married to a devastatingly handsome man by the grand old age of 28, by age 30 we would be welcoming our first child and our lives would only get more perfect from this point out, luxurious holidays and fancy meals out whenever we fancied, a nice big house and plenty of money, a rampant sex life and a generally perfect life. A girl can dream hey?
That was only the start of my carefully planned fairytale, funny the curveballs life throws out.
Instead, I’m currently sat in a cheap fast food restaurant with my date for the evening - Tom, he’s telling me about how women fall at his feet and how he’s slept with “100+ chicks”.
I’m looking at him with what I’m sure is an expression of pure horror and disbelief; he looks dirty, and no ladies I don’t mean take me to the bedroom right now dirty, I’m talking greasy, not the showering type, he’s chewing a cheeseburger and talking with his mouth full, the works, what a Casanova!
And this is only our first date, we’ve been talking casually after meeting via an online dating app and honestly had I realised he would be this much of a douche I wouldn’t have bothered shaving my legs or spending 2+ hours straightening my hair into submission, what a waste of my VO5 shine spray!
“Samantha, are you even listening to me?”
Oh my god, how embarrassing, I look up to find Tom still chewing but staring intently at me waiting for my answer, shit, do I lie and tell him I was of course listening or tell him the truth that was I lost in my own little world and honestly I’d rather be at home binge watching Suits.
My mum would encourage me to tell the truth, I can hear her voice in my head, “Just be straight up love and tell the truth always, nothing is ever that bad” ok mum I think to myself, I shall give this adulting lark a shot.
“I’m so sorry, Tom, I honestly was lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t hear a word you just said, I’m all ears now though”
“Forget it, Samantha” he responds looking at me coldly, he even has the audacity to look irritated with me, I mean come on at least I showered and made some effort tonight buddy, “you obviously don’t want to be here and there are a million other chicks begging me to hit them up tonight, I’m just gonna bounce”
With that, he gets up and leaves, I’m left alone with the remnants of my cheeseburger and Diet Coke and honestly this feels like heaven, maybe my mum is right, it’s always better to tell the truth, ha I think to myself this adulting lark isn’t so bad after all.
My phone pings to alert me of a new message and I’m surprised to see Tom’s name light up my screen, “I knew you wouldn’t put out anyway, thanks for saving me the hassle of another date”
Oh wow, what a jerk, I immediately hit the block button and text my best friend Amelia to fill her in on tonight’s events, she replies instantly “Where are you?! Do you need me to come and meet you? What an absolute ass waffle!!!!” I respond to let her know that I’m OK and agree that he is indeed an ass waffle before finishing my food and deciding to go home and wallow in bed with a family sized bag of chocolate.
As I make the five minute walk back home I let my thoughts run away with me and wonder if my luck with men will ever change, I mean I’m a catch, damn right girl I tell myself.
I think of Amelia and how happy her and Anthony are, they’ve been together since high school and are recently engaged, I couldn’t be happier for them but with the wedding planning become rather real I’m secretly terrified of being the maid of honour and turning up all alone on the day, still better than turning up with some loser I see no future with I think to myself as I open the front door.
“Dusty, is that you?” my mother’s voice calls out, “you’re back early, another night on the shelf?”
Dusty has become the nickname my family have jokingly taken to calling me, it’s because they say I’ve been single for such a long time it’s like I’m stuck on the highest shelf gathering dust, which I suppose I am in a roundabout way!
With a heavy sigh I drop my bag on the hallway floor and rest my head against the front door.
It hurts my pride a little being called Dusty, not that I would ever tell them that, they’re my parents and they only do these embarrassing things out of love.
Besides, they aren’t exactly wrong, I am on the shelf gathering dust.
I have got to stop feeling so sorry for myself, I straighten myself up using the hallway mirror and am pleased to see that the reflection looking back at me isn’t half as battered looking as I feel on the inside, warm brown eyes stare back at me, my long dark hair is behaving relatively well and hasn’t frizzed up too much from the outside air so I dust myself off, take a deep breath to calm myself and walk into the living room with my head held high.
