Life Turned Upside Down

I found an empty seat on a couch near the back door. This house was full of people and if I wanted a place to comfortably drink my beer, I had better moved fast. I quickly made my way through the crowds and sat down, grabbing an extra beer along the way so that I wouldn’t lose my seat when I needed another one. I plopped down and sank into the plush cushions. I took a sip of my beer and scanned the room. Man, this beer had a bite. I’d drank cheap beer before, but this one had a peculiar after taste. I looked at the tall silver can. 211 Steel Reserve 211 had to be one of the nastiest beers I had ever tasted. It didn’t matter though, as long as it got the job done.

I didn’t recognize anyone. Not that I knew many people. I wasn’t your typical girl, and I was extremely shy when it came to meeting anyone new. Mostly because I was self conscious. For the most part, I thought I was decent looking. I had light blonde hair that just barley passed my shoulders, and grey blue eyes with full lashes, that I outlined in heavy black liner. I was lucky that I didn’t get my mom’s figure. She was as flat as a board, and I had curves in all the right places. Still, sometimes, I’d find myself fighting the reflection in the mirror. Wasting my time thinking about all the negative things my mom’s boyfriend of 6 years would tell me about my body and my “look”.

I liked wearing black for numerous reasons. It was a slimming color and I didn’t like to stand out. I liked to blend into the background, so to speak.

“Is anyone sitting here?”

A smooth, sultry voice tore me from my thoughts. Standing in front of me was one of the cutest guys I had ever seen. He had these gorgeous light brown eyes that just drew me in instantly. His perfect teeth were covered by plush lips, and his tan skin was etched with a couple tattoos that peaked out from underneath his white T-shirt.

I scooted as close to the edge of the couch as I could.

“No, it’s free.” I said eagerly. A faint smile on my lips.

He smiled back.

“Cool.”

When he sat down, his thigh grazed mine, sending chills throughout my body. What was going on? I instantly tensed up, nervous. I took another sip of my beer.

“Want a hit?”

I turned to see him offering me a hit of his blunt. Thank God! I had been dying to smoke a little so that I could relax a bit more.

“Sure. Thanks.” I said.

I took a long puff, but not too long so that he wouldn’t think I was desperate. I was careful to make sure I didn’t wet the tip. There was nothing more gross than someone who drooled all over a blunt.

Instant relief. The smoke filled my lungs and my body immediately reacted. The tension fading. I passed it back.

“Why are you sitting by yourself?” He asked.

“I guess I’m more of a loner. I like the quiet.” Smoke flowed through my lips as I spoke.

“This is hardly the place to come for that.” He said jokingly.

“I guess I like to be alone with people, if that makes sense. “ What was I saying? I wanted to hit myself. To my surprise, he got me.

“Yeah. I feel you. So do you know Rafael?”

Rafael was the guy throwing the party. He was one of the richer kids that I knew. He had practically everything he had ever wanted, but still managed to screw up his life with drugs and alcohol. I had met him through my mom’s boyfriend, Marcus. He came around my apartment a couple times to buy weed from him.

“Through my step dad.”

He raised his right brow at me. Shit. Was that a weird thing to say? I took another sip of my beer and he passed the blunt back to me.

“How do you know him?” I said before taking another hit.

“Kimberly. She used to date him until she found out he was a coke head.”

Kimberly? Who was that, and why did he say her name like he expected me to know who she was.

“Your girlfriend?”

He gave me the ugliest look I had ever seen, and then followed it with a laugh.

“Hell nah. Kimberly is my little sister. ”

“Oh, sorry. I just assumed.”

“Don’t worry girl. It’s cool.” He said as he casually tapped my thigh as to brush of what I had said.

Shock went through my body. His touch made me feel nervous, and tingly. I was definitely not used to hot guys talking to me.

While we smoked, we casually talked about music and life. Weed and alcohol can do that to you. Make you ponder about what life is and what it all means. Our connection was instant. Was it because we were both buzzed and high, maybe, but it felt like something more. We had a lot in common. Our music interests were practically the same, minus the fact that I loved rock, and he only listened to the heavy stuff occasionally. We discussed numerous artists; SPM, Juan Gotti, 666 Mafia, Slipknot, Bone Thugs, etc. I found it strikingly odd that we both currently had the same favorite song; Damaged Mind by Evil Pimp. It was not common and definitely not played on any radio stations. Who was this guy?

“You’re pretty cool for a white chick.” He said. What did that even mean?

We stared at each for a moment. Curiosity pouring from his eyes. Why was he looking at me that way? Was something on my face? Our concentration on each other was broke by a couple of girls stumbling onto the couch we were on. One of them spilling her drink onto the brown suede. I bet Rafael’s parents were going to be pissed. It didn’t seem to bother her though. The lengthy brunette shrugged it off and sat right on top of it.

“Drunk bimbo.” I muttered under my breath. She was exactly like the girls I hated. Sickeningly happy. The cheerleader type, which I’m sure she probably was. Her boobs were practically spilling out of her dress. I never understood the reason girls felt the need to do that. I mean, I had a nice chest too, but you didn’t see me half naked. Was that because I had more self respect? Or because I was self conscious? Maybe a bit of both. I didn’t know. She was almost perfect, except she had no ass. At least I had that going for me. I smiled internally.

Two other girls followed suit and squeezed onto the couch with us. The guy I was sitting with now had his left leg underneath my right thigh. I felt my cheeks blush.

“Hey there, Handsome.” The brunette said.

Anger immediately flashed through me. Was I jealous?

“Yo.” His tone was dry and empty.

She placed her hand on his right knee.

“I’m Rachel.”

“And I’m with someone right now.” He said, casually placing his left hand on my thigh as to insuiate that we were together.

My skin burned. His hand was placed perfectly over the tear in my jeans so that our skin was touching.

“Oh.” She said, removing her hand and glaring at me.

“Well then. Your loss.”

She quickly got up, almost losing her balance in her stilleto heels, and walked off, dragging her two friends with her. What sophomore wore heels like those?

He looked at me and removed his hand. Was he blushing too?

“Sorry.” He said. “ I didn’t know how else to get rid of her.”

My leg was still on top of his, but he didn’t slide back over.

“It’s cool.” I said sheepishly, shrugging my shoulders.

By then I had finished my beer and was working on my second one. Liquid courage. I needed it.

“Are those your real eyes?”

I looked at him from above my drink and squinted. “Yes?”

“Badass. I was just checking. Thought they could have been contacts.”

“Nope. All real here.”

His eyes scanned my body. “I can see that.”

Was he flirting with me? No. Not possible. Guys that looked like him could have any girl they wanted.

He reached over with his right hand, pushing a strand of hair behind my left ear. I felt a chill where his hand had grazed my bare shoulder. He must have felt me shudder, because he pulled his hand away quickly.

“I just wanted to get your hair out of your face so I could look at them better. Are you sure they aren’t contacts?”

I don’t know if it was the weed, the beer, or the combination of the two, but suddenly I felt confident. I was now within inches of his face, my leg over his at an angle. I opened my eyes as big as I could.

“You see? Real.”

He smiled and then I pulled away a little.

“You know, they say the eyes are the windows to your soul.”

I grabbed his blunt and took a hit. “And weed is the way to my heart.” I said jokingly.

“ I see you.” His voice was a low whisper.

What did he mean? I stared into his eyes, searching for my answer.

His hand that was once resting on my thigh was now on my hip. He took the blunt from my hand, took a hard hit, and put it out in his empty beer can. Before I knew it, he had pulled me onto his lap so that I was straddling him, and his lips were against mine, blowing the smoke into my mouth.

He pulled back, and I opened my eyes. Not realizing I had even closed them. A smile crept over his lips as I exhaled. My first kiss.

Sure there was that one kiss with the neighborhood boy when I was 8, but that didn’t count. That was just the result of a sorry game of spin the Dr. Pepper bottle under my front porch of our old trailer. One of the many places I had lived.

He bit his bottom lip. “Never shotgunned before?”

I smiled bashfully. I didn’t dare tell him that I had never kissed someone.

“No, I’ve never shotgunned.”

What did I do next? I just sat that, hovering over him. Not sure what to do with my body. His hand traced the curves of my sides, outlining my hour glass shape.

He kissed me again. This time with no additive. Just his lips against mine. It was a soft kiss. Sweet and wanting all in one. Was I dreaming? I moved my hands from my side and wrapped them around his neck. Deepening our kiss. Not caring about the people surrounding us.

“Bro! Let’s go!”

Someone from behind me was shouting, and just like that, the moment was over.

I quickly got off and we stood up, looking at the people scrambling around us.

“Oh fuck.” I said. “Cops!”

He grabbed my hand and dragged me out the back door. We stopped at the wooden fence and he looked at me, questioning me with his eyes. To his surprise, I needed no help getting over it. I had cleared many fences in my short 15 years. I was over it in seconds, landing perfectly on the gravel below. Him following shortly. We ran in between houses until we reached the old railroad tracks by the library. Once hidden safely behind the trees, we stopped. I bent over holding me knees, trying to catch my breath. Thank God I was a Vans girl, and not a stiletto one. I wondered how far that brunette got before the cops had caught her.

“You good?”

“Yeah. You?” I said breathlessly.

“I’ve never seen a girl jump a fence like that. Do you do this often?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Tricks of the trade. Do you live around here?”

“Yeah, about 2 blocks over. What about you?”

“I live on Ash. Maybe like a 10 minute walk from here.”

I climbed to the top of the railroad tracks and sat down. He did the same, placing his hand on my knee. My buzz must have started to wear off, because I could feel my nervousness seeping. Was he still going to be interested now that we had both sobered up?

“I should get going. It’s nearing 2am and my mom will be expecting me.”

Surprise overtook his face. “Your mom knows you’re out like this?”

“She knows what I do. In all honesty, she prefers for me to “get fucked up in the safety of our home” but I wanted to get out of there.”

“Wow. I don’t know if thats dope, or fucked up.”

We laughed together and then he kissed me. Short and sweet.

“So uh, you got a boyfriend?”

Did I have a boyfriend?!? Was he serious. “No?” I answered questioning his intentions. “What kind I girl do you think I am. I wouldn’t be kissing strangers at parties if I did.”

“Well, I just had to be sure. You know how some girls are.” He looked at the ground and then began rubbing the back of his neck. Was he... shy?

“Do you think it would be cool if I got your number so that we could hang out again? I could hit you up when there’s another party?”

“I’d like that.” Could he hear my heart beating in my chest? I was sure he could. We were so close and I felt like it was going to burst. I gave him my phone, he entered his number, and called himself from it. He hung up and then saved his number.

“Just in case you chicken out and don’t text me, I’ll have your number.” He said grinning. He handed it back to me and I looked down at my new contact. Alejandro.

“Alejandro.” His name was a whisper on my lips.

“What do I save yours as?”

“Salem.”

“That fits you.” He said, scanning my body. Was he referring to my all black apparel? Perhaps he associated Salem with witches. I got that a lot.

We stood up and started walking to our neighborhoods.

“Well, I guess this is where we part ways. Don’t be a stranger Salem.”

He went right and I went left. I hummed to myself all the way home. Is this what being happy felt like? I didn’t want the night to end.

As I got to my house, Marcus was still outside drinking a beer.

“Hey slut.”

I didn’t let his words sting me. I was on a high that no beer or drug could take me, and I wasn’t about to let his sorry ass bring me down. I strolled past him happily and made my way to my room, crashing onto my bed.

Ping

I had a new text.

“Goodnight Salem”

With one eye open, I responded.

“Night Dro.” And then I drifted off to sleep.