Who am I?
“Who am I ? No one knows, not even me, myself. Am I even , Riha.” I asked myself. These are the questions I always asked myself, the questions no one could answer but now,..... I really don’t care. “ Coming...mom” the only one I have, my ‘mother’ without whom I am not who I am today but I still think that this is not the reality of me. Whenever I question her the reality, the only answer I would get is
“I have never hidden anything from you.”
But somehow my inner voice always leave me questioned, “ Is it true.” Those nightmares I have, those flashes, what are they? Even if she says nothing, those screams in her eyes say everything. That sadness in her eyes always proved her lies.
But I know the time will come that all the truths will be in front of me and that day something really bad will happen. “ Be careful, you will fall again.” Mom warned. You all must be wondering what really happened but in real, it was nothing big, maybe; I slipped and fell from the stairs. This is what I was told. Doctors said it was a short term memory lost, but it has been one year since I am suffering from finding my memory and doctors are still giving hopes. Memories make us who we are. But I..... I really don’t have anything. Even after having everything, I feel like the most helpless person ever.
Something really bad happened in my past, something from which my mother is trying to protect me from. Without saying anything; her eyes say everything. I have never known what friends are. I am a girl with only one dream my memory and I don’t even have that. I never wanted anything and the only thing I wanted......... I couldn’t find it but maybe it will find me, maybe.
Everyone are flowing in their own way but I really don’t have a way. I don’t know what the world outside my room, really is. The stories that I read about the world and the stories that I heard from my mother, are really different. I believe that the world is just filled with so many colours and beings but my mother always told me that the world is really dangerous.
Today we were invited to a dinner in the neighbourhood and for normal people it might seem a normal world but for me it’s the happiest day in my life. There I saw him, the one I only read in books but in his eyes, I saw the same helplessness that I had. His heart seemed to be filled with wounds but when I first saw him all my wounds seemed to disappear but there was something still missing. “What was the connection between two strangers.”
