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That Dinner Would Stink

Summary

Emma wakes up drunk, in a strange bed, in a strange house, and with a strange ring on her finger, and it only gets worse when she finds out she is married to Mr. Gold. Originally posted on Fanfic.net.

Status
Complete
Chapters
27
Rating
n/a
Age Rating
13+

Diamonds and Gold


Emma had a hangover to end all hangovers. Her head felt like it was about to explode and was being crushed at the same time. Her muscles felt like they were made of wood. She felt like she could drink 5 gallons of water. And to top it all off she wanted to puke her guts out, she assumed she had some left if the pain was anything to go by, but felt too weak to move, even if her legs were working.

'How much did I drink last night?' No sooner had she thought it then the memories came back from last night in full force. Her hitting Regina, Graham helping her, him dying, and her being her usual smart self and drinking at Granny's until she couldn't think straight, or walk straight for that matter. 'I can see the head line of the Mirror now. "Sheriff dies and Deputy drunk, what has happened to Storybrooke's law enforcement, hell, Regina is probably singing zippity-do-dah, zippity-a, I can fire Emma now, what a wonderful day.' The thought of Regina singing only made her want the puke more. 'I'm a glutton for punishment today, why can't I just sleep in my nice warm bed and not have to think. Just curl up under the silk sheets...SILK SHEETS, my bed doesn't have that, oh dear lord, I crashed at a random house, and with my luck, I will have to arrest myself for being a public menace, disturbing the peace, and breaking and entering. Three-strikes, I'm out, Regina must be thinking Christmas came very early this year.'

Emma was about to try and move out of bed to see if she could make a run for it when the door of the room opened, distracting her and making her fall on the floor, which made her close her eyes from the pain. When she opened them, she really wished that she hadn't. In front of her were two pairs of black socks, and the bottom of a black, wooden cane. 'I'm at Gold's, if there is a God up there and he has any mercy at all, kill me now, Hell can't be much worse than this.' She prayed to anyone who would listen. Sadly no one did, or it was just so funny that any divine being listening was unable to help her because they were laughing so hard.

"Well good morning Emma." She heard him say in that annoying way that meant he was smiling like the Joker. "I take it the hangover is in full swing, I'm pretty sure Granny will have no problem paying rent for the next three mouths considering how much you drank last night, even Leroy wasn't able to keep up." And then ever so gently, something Emma was both surprised and glad for, Gold picked her up off the floor. She would have protested, but her dignity was shot to heck in a hand-basket already, so why fight it if you have nothing left to lose. "I don't think you'll be able to eat anything, but I brought you a large glass of water." He said handing it to her. "You were in the most horrible state last night, I'm amazed you could even sign your name last night, and the judge was to I think."

When Gold said that, Emma coughed up some of the water she was drinking. 'Judge, why was she signing something for a Judge...' Her thought didn't get any farther along than that when she saw her hand. Now the hangover wasn't so bad, Hell was fast becoming a really nice vacation spot. Even whatever form of torment Regina would have concocted if all her worries were true and she had broken into Gold's house would have been better than the alternative that was fast becoming the only logical explanation. Everything was numb when she saw the sparkly stones on top of a gold ring on her finger.

"So." Gold said with a great deal of glee when he saw that Emma saw the ring. "Is there anything I can get for you, Mrs. Gold?"


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