Love Me: 2 (Boyxboy)

/Zion/

I hated this feeling.

The feeling of being left in the dark; in the shadows of the truth. What was worse? The feeling of not knowing something that someone else did.

I hated the feeling of not belonging, the feeling of not being loved.

I hated quite a lot of feelings, as anyone could see. But my point was that I felt something. Whether it was hate, or envy, or insecurity... I still felt something.

I was still human.

Though I didn't know exactly who I was, I was still me.

Unfortunately, some people have lost themselves. Unfortunately again, that included my boyfriend. The one I was about to break up with right now.

He'd taken away my best friend's virginity against her will, and I couldn't tolerate that.

"Mr. Westbay! It's been a while." I nodded my head at the man before me. He was smiling cheerfully, excited to see me after all this time.

"Zion. Pleasure," was his simple greeting as he let me into the house. He had curly dark hair and soft bluish green eyes, and when he smiled, wrinkles formed by his eyes. "I was just leaving. Jaxon should be upstairs; he hasn't been down all day."

"Aw, okay. Thanks, Mr. Westbay."

He nodded and walked out of the house. Once I was sure he was gone, I made my way up the stairs. I figured nobody else was home. The house was silent, I noticed, save for very low, hushed voices emitting from a room.

I spotted Jaxon's door and headed to it, and it was then that I realized the voices were coming from there. I knew that if I knocked, they'd silence.

Placing the pads of my fingers carefully against the door, I pressed my ear to the door as well and tried to make out the conversation.

I couldn't. But it didn't take long to decipher one voice as Jaxon's, and the other as a possibly older male from the deepness of his tone.

"I'm leaving," the older person said a bit louder, so I was able to hear it.

"But we never got the chance to-"

"Something came up. Another time."

I stepped back with a silent gasp, expecting him to burst through the door, but that never happened. I didn't hear his voice anymore so my only guess was that he went through the window.

This guy... this man... was he the one who hurt Jaxon? But... He spoke so softly to him. Maybe the guy was... No. I backed away, my mind thinking back to Rylan's words at the restaurant.

He's cheating on you.

"Jax would never cheat," I whispered to that memory. He'd said so himself. But what did it matter? I was here to end this, wasn't I?

Thinking about Scarlett gave me all the push I needed as I felt the anger course through me like a strong ocean wind. I knocked on Jaxon's door with a little force.

"Jax! It's Zion; we need to talk."

The door opened and there he was. No shirt on and jeans ripped at the knees. His pink lips were slightly swollen, hinting that he'd been kissing someone. My heart fell.

"You're cheating," I concluded. "You..." I shook my head and he just walked out of his room, ignoring me.

"You need a drink?" He made his way downstairs and I stared after him in disbelief and hurt. Where the hell was my boyfriend? This wasn't him. This wasn't... Jax.

Not moving an inch, I waited for him to come back up the stairs holding a cup of liquid which he wasted no time in shoving in my hands.

"Drink it," he ordered, placing his hands at my waist. Eagerly, his lips touched my neck, kissing it harshly.

"You're cheating on me..." A part of me wasn't as angry as I'd expected to be about that fact. Maybe because my feelings for him had vanished, but it still annoyed me that he promised to never cheat. It irritated me that he was the one who'd complained about being cheated on by his ex, yet here he was doing the same exact thing to me. "We need to talk. Now," I said in a low, serious voice.

"Why talk, Zion?" He pulled me into his room. "I've got better ideas."

I tried to shift myself out of his grip but he held onto me uncomfortably tighter. He pressed his lips to my cheek.

"Drink it, Zion."

"No," I resisted. "Why? So you can drug me like you drugged Scarlett?"

His hands fell from my body and he stared at me.

"So it's true? You did that to her? Gave her a drink, drugged her, and took advantage of her?"

His lips tightened and I glared at him. "I can't believe I trusted you!" I growled out.

"Please, Zion." He looked fed up. Well, I was too. "I made you who you are. Haven't I told you that enough? Isn't that the only reason why you've stuck with me all this while? What're you gonna do? Break up with me? You can sure as hell try!" He shot. "But you know what's gonna happen when you do? All those friends you thought you had, the friends you thought gave a shit about you... Gone. They'll hate you. Don't even bother looking their way or breathing their air; you're a nobody. Face it, you always were."

And I also hated this feeling.

The helplessness. The feeling that Jaxon's words were probably right. The feeling of being a nobody. It was this kind of thing he'd said to me when I tried to break up with him twice before. They always knocked me down and rid me of any confidence I'd managed to obtain. The thought of having all my friends hate me and my popularity stripped scared me.

This time? I'd have to just let it be. Because a part of me knew I'd still have Scarlett and Jonah. I'd have a family who had my back no matter what.

"You could still have your friends and more if you want!" Jaxon insisted. "Do you realize the influence I have at that school? Pretty sure you have an idea. I could make you captain of the soccer team. You could have your own entourage when you walk down the halls. Everyone would respect you, love you."

He knew what he was doing. He knew that I was insecure, and that his ideas made my heart skip a beat.

"It comes at a little price, though, Z. Just a little price..." His hands went to remove my shirt and I gasped.

"No!" I tried to push him away but his body had me pressed against the wall. I dropped the cup that was in my hand, letting it shatter like my heart.

I was deathly afraid. This couldn't be happening.

"Jax, please- no!"

My shirt was off, and his hands were tracing the smooth skin of my torso as his lips trailed across my neck, causing waves of repugnance within my blood.

"Get off me!" I shoved him away. He wiped his lips.

"Damn it, Zion! I don't get you. You're the only boy I know who believes in that piece of shit around your neck!"

With a heated face, my hand flew to the purity ring that I wore as a necklace. I didn't utter a word as he glared at me.

"You said you were 'saving yourself' for the one. Well, I'm that one!"

"Don't flatter yourself too much, Jax. You're not that special," I dryly responded, staring at him with a sudden rush of animosity.

He made to punch me but I luckily managed to dodge his fist. I grabbed my shirt quickly but he caught me by the waist, ripping the ring from my necklace. I gasped, distracted by that and he knocked me to the floor.

With a grunt, I landed on my side and my arm was scraped by the bits of glass from the broken cup.

"Is this what you are?" I questioned. "A controlling, sex-crazed monster?!" I screamed, shaking my head. "We'll be here all day, Jaxon. You're not taking my virginity."

He leaned close to my face, tilting his head. "I don't want your stupid virginity. You're not that special," he repeated my words to me.

"Bullshit!" I spat. "You were just spewing crap about being the one, or did you forget so quickly?"

Fury came over him but before he could retaliate to my statement, I brought my leg up to jab his groin.

With a cry of pain, he dropped to his knees, grabbing his crotch and I went to grab my ring and the string that was tied to it. Slipping my finger into the ring, I clenched my fist and took a deep breath.

"We're through, Jaxon," I declared, staring him in the eye. With the ring on my finger and fist clenched, I drew my arm back to punch him. When we locked eyes, I knew I couldn't do it.

Not because I was too scared to, but it'd do no good. I'd proved to myself that I wasn't afraid of him, and that was all that mattered. Lowering my arm, I still maintained eye contact with him.

"Get some help," I told him finally, forcing my shirt back on and leaving his room.

I had meant it. He needed to get some help, and admit that he wasn't okay. I couldn't force it out of him.

Jaxon had lost himself. I had hoped to be the person to fix it all, but that was when I thought it started with me. Whatever it was, it went way back to when he and Rylan dated, or probably before that.

I hated this feeling.

The feeling of being stuck between what was right and what was necessary. The feeling of wanting to help but knowing I couldn't. The feeling of knowing... I was yet another person who couldn't solve Jaxon. The feeling of knowing that I wasn't the answer.

((*******))

How was the first chapter? It wasn't so easy to write and I'm not a pro writer so PLEASE I hope it didn't suck! Good thing I can spell ;)

I actually never name my chapters but I had to name this one as Feelings because (it's a lil obvious), Zion talks about his emotions and struggles a bit here.

Do you relate to Zion with any of the feelings he hated?

Do you blame him for breaking up with Jax? Does this mean he's giving up on him?

Put yourself in Zion's shoes before answering: Do you think he's not doing enough to help? Is he overwhelmed?

Do you feel bad for Jaxon?

Okay thanks for reading, please comment ;*

I like to ask questions heehee XD