I was Drunk Yesterday

I was drunk yesterday

And many times in the past week

Every date a new guy

I swipe and swipe and swipe

I have no fucking idea what I’m looking for.

This week twice I woke up hugging the toilet bowl

Another morning I woke up naked on the cold bathroom tiles.

And every time I get home smashed

I rush past my dad, barely acknowledging him,

Because I don’t want to see disappointment on his face

Seeing me get so wasted and

once again I am disgusted with myself.

I was drunk yesterday, and

I went out with someone new.

We drank and drank and drank… No,

I drank and drank and drank.

Couldn’t walk straight and don’t I know it

I’m relying on the help of strangers to get home safe.

But I was drunk yesterday and someone new tried to get me to stay.

He pulled me to a pillar and tried to kiss my face.

He held on to my ass and grabbed my waist.

Moved his other hand lower and tried to touch me

While I kept saying no, no, not today.

I pushed his hands away.

But I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t stand straight.

I am thankful that we were in an open space

Because I’m sure as hell he wouldn’t have put me into the cab alone if

We were in an isolated place.

I was on the cab home but

I am disgusted with myself again.

I still don’t know what I’m looking for,

And I don’t think I’m going to find it.

But why dwell on it? So I guess

I am going to get drunk again.