Half a story

"Sadly, this is not the path to clarity, kiddo. What exactly are you trying to accomplish? I have many questions. Is there some mysterious or surprising connection between your DM and players and their character creations? Because there's no purpose in automatically revealing that they're not real. You've taken all the thrill and danger of playing a game and made it a moot point. Crumple up the character sheet and poof! that guy is dead. It's either a beginning D&D story or a Mazes and Monsters nightmare screenplay. I recommend you focus on one. Now, why pit them against measly one hit goblins only to kill them? That's a sign of a terrible DM. It's more pathetic that they couldn't even reach the Goblin King. And where the Hell is their armor? Oh, now they're killing a shopkeeper. That's different but not difficult. My big tip is that I strongly suggest that you start off with something shockingly unforgettable to grab the reader's attention. Anecdotally, my brother writes like his heroes don't have any purpose. I guess they're not interested in treasure or romance or fighting evil. They just watch the action around them. Oh, well, he has drain bamage. Okay, enough harping. I did enjoy their origin stories and I especially like the misfit elf and the little girl inside a Minotaur, probably because I'm a Taurus myself. Those names are also very inventive. Ahh, just thought of something. Perhaps the tabletop players are being played by some D&D Gods. That would be interesting. In conclusion, writing isn't easy. It should spark the reader's imagination, not bury it in mediocrity. Sometimes you have to write from your mind and not your heart. Keep your nose to the grindstone. Good luck."