May 2nd 1999 Baby cj was born yea that’s me the last of the 90s baby’s but as I grew older I became a threat to someone just like any other black kid even tho as young black boys we love sports and our mothers especially coming from a single mother household all I wanted to do well what I felt my only option was to go pro and get us out of here but you ain’t heard nothing yet this just the beginning... Another black kids story......
Elementary
Life through elementary challenging as I look back I’m not blaming or making excuses but I never had a father figure to look up to or teach me men things so my mother did her best as she would always say I’m pure boy meaning I had a lot of energy and was always moving around but as I can remember I did pretty well in elementary you know during my sports season cause I knew if I get in trouble mama going make me sit out the game and as much as I loved the game I couldn’t sit out and watch my team struggle knowing I’m the key to the team. Right around the corner as the season ended I find myself getting sent to the office and all the principle did was sit me in a corner for the whole day instead of talking to me see what’s wrong as if it were a black in the role I’d probably listen because we relate more like it’s dumb to me you got a school full of kids from the ghetto but all the staff are from small counties in Kentucky like come on now. Let me remind you the school had all white teachers and office staff by you could tell something was wrong with me.
I was missing that father figure you know so at times I’d feel miserable inside worthless and that turned to anger then I started getting into fights which led to automatic suspensions they never tried peer mediation or nothing and as I remember the kid pulled a button off my shirt and yea I may have overreacted but hey I’m a black kid no father at home mans and sister......
Last chance
This is where it gets interesting in my junior year high school I was a star cornerback for a great promising team I had college’s recruiting me for some reason I just couldn’t stay focused I mean I was always hiding what I felt inside you couldn’t tell what I was going through and I didn’t know how to ask for help so I started skipping and leaving school early to go On the block and hang with the people I felt loved me and I got attached to that lifestyle I couldn’t stand to sit in class you know. Still wishing and missing that father figure maybe if I had that I’d be at somebody college right now. Well I didn’t make it my senior year got kicked out the top atheletic school in state I didn’t make the grades but the coaches still let me play in games and everything else in which no one was surprised because it’s about winning there the 2014 through 2017 class were all D1 athletes nobody had the grades sad but this is the story of young black boys in America.
After I get kicked out my heart was crushed I felt my life was over so I turned to the streets running around selling drugs packing pistols, smoking weed and popping pills and ended up going to juvenile detention for a gun charge that summer. I ain’t going lie my first nights I cried like a baby cause I was following my fathers footsteps and he didn’t even raise me and I hated when I mother compared me to him because he left us and I had to deal with my mothers struggles but we stayed together and I came back home and went to Iroquois high school which I hated and I’m sure anyone would have coming from central high (Hoot Hoot) still my school to this day (lol) but I end up going back to juvenile detention for 2 pistol charges I know you probably like how he get back out that fast anyway well it’s lawyer money and the juvenile detention wasn’t strict back in my day. This time I’m used to the dentition center it didn’t phase me and I hated that because this is the last place my mother would want me to be and I’m her only son we all each other got.
A few months go by and I get released and go to a behavioral school my senior year where I earned my diploma and they kind of helped me set my mind straight well the black police officer who related to every kid in that school and all these white teachers we didn’t get along I had got kicked out of classes I was 18 at the time so I signed myself out of school early a lot and I even got into a fight there over somebody disrespecting the hood I lived in. I was even on the house arrest watch with school releases so all the white staff is saying take him to jail but the black officer who knew me knew this wasn’t me at all he knew I was a good kid at heart who wanted help I was trapped and we handled it and the other kid never came to school anyway so they sent him home and he never came back to school.
I still haven’t found my place in this world as I’m 20 now and done been to jail and been shot in my elbow 4 times shattering my bone in half and having to go through a 6 hour surgey and now I got these metal rods and shit in my arm my life didn’t get no better some will say this a cry for help but this is to young black boys in America don’t take the path I took you going be with it just like me in the TRAP.
