Rotten to the Core

The Constitution of Lextordia

In line with the vision of Pierre Fisher, the founder and first ever Foreman of the almighty Core, we lay down for you, for the attainment of righteous social order and harmony, the constitution of Lextordia.

The Lextordian government hereby affirms its citizens’ rights to exercise free speech through peaceful means.

All powers of government stand with the Fisher family, whose leader, the Foreman, at any given stage, holds the right to appoint and dismiss Senators and political advisers of Lextordia and to make all final decisions on policy and legislation, on behalf of all citizens. These powers of government are exercisable only on the authority established by this Constitution. The righteous leader of the Senators at any given time is the next of kin to the previous Foreman.

Allegiance to the governing body of Lextordia is a primary fundamental obligation of each and every citizen. Any residents, whether part of the Core, or the Village, found to be posing a threat of and or staging a mutiny, will be executed.

Revenues collected by the government of Lextordia shall be appropriated for purposes which the Senate deems most beneficial. Tax evasion is a criminal act and will result in severe punishment.

All citizens of Lextordia must attend school from the age of five up until they are at least sixteen years of age, unless in circumstances deemed exceptional by the governing body of the Core.

Religious practices are publicly banned throughout all of Lextordia. Any religious convictions a citizen may hold may only be practiced within the vicinity of their own home. No religious symbols may be carried or worn in public. Any attempts to indoctrinate other citizens to adopt your religious beliefs will result in public punishment deemed appropriate by law enforcement in the individual case.

Homosexuality is a criminal offense. Anybody caught consorting with another of the same sex is subject to conversion therapy. It is an evil and a sickness, necessary to purge from our society, and will be dealt with in extreme measures.

In the realm of Lextordia, a woman is her father’s property, until passed over into marriage. Then, she belongs solely to her husband. A woman’s primary role is that of a mother and a housekeeper. This must come before any career aspirations. Once a couple have solidified their commitment to one another through marriage, this cannot be reversed.

The law enforcement body of Lextordia, the Guardians, hold infinite power in enforcing any laws outlined in this constitution, or any laws that may be written into a future revision of this constitution, among the citizens of Lextordia by any means they consider necessary. They also hold the right to punish any law breakers accordingly.