Teaser
I didn’t expect him to invite me over after everything. Maybe it was his way of trying to reconnect but, I wasn’t going there with high hopes.
When I arrive, I sit in my car for a few minutes, preparing myself for the heartbreak that might soon follow.
He could’ve invited you here to end it... to cut ties.
Maybe he feels as if he can never see you again.
I shake my head, wanting to stay positive.
“No, Hazel, he wouldn’t do that... Stop thinking like that.”
I take a deep breath and get out of my car. As I approach the side door like I always used to, my head begins to fill with all the possibilities as to why he called me here. Naturally, most of them were negative. Only a few were positive. I reluctantly raise my hand to the door but, before I could knock, his dog barked.
I smile a little as he bounds over to me. He jumps on me, as per usual, nearly knocking me over.
“Hey, there, big guy,” I laugh slightly. “I missed you too.”
His tongue lapped over my face, excitedly. I didn’t mind the drowning sensation it gave me. I loved this gigantic baby.
I guess the sound of the barking and laughing alerted Dan to my presence because it was only a few moments before the screen door swung open with a high pitched squeak. I jumped a bit, not expecting that to happen. The fact that my anxiety was majorly elevated the entire ride there didn’t help matters as well.
As I turn to look at him, my smile faded. He looked horrible. He had gotten skinnier since the last time I saw him. He wasn’t eating. I remember him saying something about how, when he’s depressed, he eats less. Usually, this man is a black hole.
He had dark circles under his eyes, and he wore the saddest expression I think I’ve ever seen. My heart broke seeing him in such rough shape.
“Hi...” I say quietly. His dogs’ barks quieted, and he finally returned all four paws to the ground.
“Hi,” he said back.
We stared at each other for a moment, neither of us knowing what to do next. It was a bit chilly, and I couldn’t hide my shivers. All I was wearing was the sweatshirt I stole from Dan when we were together. I rarely take it off.
The crickets chirping seemed to become deafening in the awkward silence. Usually, the sound calmed me, but tonight, it just filled me with dread.
I was in rough shape too. I haven’t been eating well. My appetite just seemed to disappear as soon as the food was placed in front of me. Also, things that usually make me happy didn’t have the same effect anymore.
Dan, on the other hand, looked far worse.
Dan cleared his throat, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
“Erm... come in, I guess.”
I force a small smile and step inside, waving goodbye to his dog as I entered.
“Is everything ok, Dan?” I ask, even though I already knew what his response would be.
“No, but I’m confident it will be after tonight.”
My mind was racing with what the hell that could’ve meant. My stomach was in knots.
Dan leads me through the kitchen and into his room. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it, and it was an absolute wreck. It was almost as if he had spent his entire life inside without cleaning it once.
Empty cans of Fanta Orange Soda littered the floor and tables. There were empty pizza boxes in every corner of the room. And, the entire place smelled of B.O.
“My God, Dan...” I muttered while looking around.
He looked at me with an embarrassed expression.
“I know, it’s not pretty.” he sighed and walked over to a box in the corner of the room. In it was a bunch of seemingly random items.
“This is a box of Angelica’s stuff that I’ve never been able to get rid of. Today is the day we burn it, and I want you to help me with that... If you’re willing, that is...” Dan looked at me, sheepishly.
I look back at him, slightly surprised.
“You want me here for this? Are you sure?”
Dan cracks a small smile and nods.
“You were the one who suggested it after all. It only fits that you’re here for it.”
I smile, and he takes my hand, leading me out into his backyard, the box was held tightly under his other arm.
There were two lawn chairs set up on either side of this enormous fire pit. We walk over, and Dan begins the process of lighting the fire. While he did that, I took the opportunity to look through the stuff that was in the box. The things he could never get rid of.
Letters, a perfume bottle, some clothes, seemingly ordinary stuff. But, I knew that each of these items came attached with a memory. A memory of something he thought was love.
I begin to feel the heat rise from the fire, and I look up. Dan had already gotten the flames to grow pretty large.
“Wow, Dan, I have to say, I’m impressed,” I chuckle, wanting to keep the atmosphere light-hearted. “I thought you might need my fantastic girl scout abilities.”
A small smirk spreads across his lips.
“Can you play some angry music? It might help me get in the right mood for this.”
I grin and take my phone out.
“A girl scout always comes prepared” I giggle and play a playlist I’ve had for a very long time. I actually used this playlist when my best friend forced me to burn my ex’s shit. I knew it would be perfect.
The first song begins to play; “Dirty Deeds” by ACDC. Dan’s smirk grew into a full-length smile.
“Perfect. You always know the best songs for every situation, don’t ya’ Hazel?”
I smirk and nod.
He turns his attention back towards the fire. His smile soon melted, and his shoulders slumped. He took a deep breath and walked to the box of his ex’s things.
“You can do this, Dan,” I say, wanting to give him a small vote of confidence. He nods and reaches into the box, pulling out all of the paper objects. One by one, he tossed them into the fire. His eyes began to well up with tears, and my heart broke for him. It hurt me to see him this broken.
I walk over and place my hand on his back. It was a small gesture, but it seemed to fill him with more confidence.
“I’m ok Haze... Thank you” he smiles sadly and continues going back and forth from the box to the fire, throwing everything in one after another until eventually, only one object was left. It was a beanie.
He stared at it for a long time, beginning to cry again.
I walk up to him and take his hand.
“How about we do this together?” I ask.
He sniffles and nods. I coach him in taking one last deep breath before throwing the beanie into the roaring flames.
We stand there for a moment, watching the words on the letters melt away as the flames ate the paper they lay on. Dan was silent. I was silent. The music stopped playing. All that was heard was the soft crackling of the flames and the crickets in the woods. Only this time, they weren’t so deafening.
We make our way to the two lawn chairs and relax a bit in front of the fire.
After a while, I turned my attention away from the fire and looked directly at Dan. His head hung low. He seemed to be fighting back his emotions.
I sigh and let out an angry, guttural scream. Dan jumped a bit and stared at me with a confused expression.
“What the hell did you do that for?” He asked.
I smirk and let out another angry scream, waiting for him to catch on.
He raises an eyebrow, and I motion with my hand to repeat after me.
He still seemed confused, but he opened his mouth and attempted to scream. At first, all that came out was a strangled cry that eventually evolved into a scream. It was the kind of scream that I never wanted to hear come from him again.
He screamed for what seemed like minutes until his voice finally broke. I then retake my turn and scream. We took turns screaming into the darkness before our screams began to turn to words.
“Fuck you!” He screamed, his entire body shaking with rage and hatred. “Fuck you! You cheating piece of shit! Why the hell did I ever love you!”
I couldn’t help but smile a little. Dan was finally acknowledging what happened to him. What Angelica did to him.
“Fuck this shit!” I shout. “Fuck being depressed! Fuck emotions!” Soon after, I say that I begin to laugh. Soon enough, we were both laughing.
After our laughter died down, Dan looked up at me from across the flames with an expression I’ve never seen him wear before.
“Hazel... I think I’m in love with you.”
