Alone.
Words spiral in my head and I continue to have no choice but sit in silence and let my thoughts consume my whole being. Good and bad, the light and dark merging together. My vision is blurred, tears streaming down. Warm and hard. Salty water drenching me, drowning me. I wipe my eyes but to no avail, I remain sightless. Who I am and Who I eventually will be is determined by these minuscule fragments in time that will shape my view of not only myself but the world. I sit and ponder endless thoughts. They rush into my head like waves crashing onto a shore. My eyes, rain clouds, droplets turning into a stream that will eventually lead back to the ocean. During the loneliness and panic, a new challenger enters the arena. Flashes of sudden light slap me in the face. Words of light are thrown into the mix, a melting pot of emotions. Slow and paced at first, then a rapid downpour. Support, love. I'm given the power and tools to defeat the dark monster. I'm faced with a choice. Do I let this demon consume my entire being or do I use this affection to my advantage and continue on. The pain, the agony floating away now. I'm showing a new side, a new path formed. When I feel hurt or broken, beaten down by the outside killing me from inside out I now have a superpower. Words, love, affection is my new guide. The new reason for living and taking every deep steady breath. I can now believe in not only myself but in the people around me, the people with me. Even in the darkest times, there will be lights to show me my way home. With those lights I realize, I can never truly be alone.
