Has Potenmtial.

"The following comments are my thoughts and can be disregarded as you wish. I've read both chapters and enjoyed chapter two. There is an adage among writers that the story should start where the story starts. The journey to London is padding and should be cut. Your tale IMO starts somewhere around - We are staying here for two nights. Your speech punctuation requires editing to correct minor errors. Generally use said or asked or not at all. In a few areas your speech is stilted and could be improved. For me editing is everything. Cut until you can cut no more. What remains often springs to life. I did enjoy chapter two and wish you well with this."