My Last Thought

SPENCER'S POV:

Perfection.

It's what my family has strived for generation after generation. Every painful waking moment is spent in a funnel of stress and chaos.

When I first met Allison, she understood where I came from, and allowed me to flee from the image of perfectionism.

She welcomed me into the group, and allowed me to be myself.

However, when I returned home, my parents expected me to reach for that image once more.

One time I tried to do both. I tried to escape the image my parents forced upon me, by finding a way to stay awake and alert all the time.

I know drugs probably weren't the smartest thing, but it helped me regain my sanity in the household of lunatics.

However, all good things must end.

Too bad mine had to end so destructively.

When I returned from rehab, the life I had been so glad to escape consumed me once more.

Allison found out about my problem, but I didn't care. She still accepted me for who I was.

It wasn't until she disappeared that night that I realized how dependent I was on her to maintain my sanity.

I started to grow closer to the people I had learned to like; Aria, Hanna, Emily. They were decent human beings, and also accepted me for me.

In my darkest nights, I still had people to talk to, and I ended up forming a bond closer to them than I ever had with Allison.

The four of us spent many years in strife, chased down by a killer wanting our lives to suffer.

On the way, I met a guy named Toby. He changed me for the better, and I suspected I did the same to him.

Our lives were a tangle of love and lust. I needed him, just as he needed me.

It was truly perfection, until he betrayed what little trust I had.

I guess you could say my heart shattered, but considering that it was already mostly broken to start with, the damage was not terrible.

I had expected it for some time. After all, why would he stick around with someone as messed up as me?

Aria saw past my lies when I said I was fine. I hadn't meant to worry her, I just didn't think my matters were important to my group of friends.

After a few weeks of my sanity draining away, I was finally able to tell my friends what had happened. I didn't care too much. They all freaked out, but I assured them it wasn't that big of a deal.

Months later we got back together, but I wasn't really happy with what was going on.

My life was going downhill. My parents kept dumping stress loads on me, and A didn't cease to bring chaos into my life.

I guess you could say that's the reason I'm here tonight. Away from everyone I know.

I stand on the hill, watching the lights turn on as the moon slips below the horizon. It's a peaceful sight if anything.

I fumble with my hands, wondering if anyone got the letters I wrote. If they did, I didn't have much time before they came to take me home.

I didn't care too much. My life was pretty bad to say the least, and I knew I wouldn't hurt anyone if I followed through with my plans.

Aria would miss me the most, but I knew she could get over it.

Hanna might be upset, but I doubt she'd show it.

Emily would be heartbroken, but she's a sympathetic person.

Toby would miss me second most. He would be torn apart, but I knew he was strong enough to rebuild himself. I wasn't worth the sadness.

My family would be angry with me. They would blame me for tarnishing their picture perfect image.

I sighed as I walked to the edge of the cliff overlooking the quiet town.

Despite all the horror and chaos held within its depths, it was quite beautiful.

Gently placing my foot on the edge of the rock, I took a deep breath.

My thoughts racing through my head, I closed my eyes, and left my past behind me on that cliff.

My last thought before I hit the ground was;

I am finally at peace.