1- Rap up of past few years(don’t skip)
I remember when I was young. I would dash around my mom’s small apartment and play angels and demons with my brother, Joshua Wandelina.
We would laugh and fall on our couch staring at the ceiling. What happened, you ask? Well, life happened, and a whole lot of it.
My brother and I had always been a happy and crazy pair, which lead us to blame ourselves for our parents divorce.
That’s right, I said it. My parents split up when joshua was 2 years old and i was 1 ½ years old.
All I ever heard about my dad was that he was a drunk and that he didn’t want us or to be a part of our life.
Whenever I acted out my mother would say “no wonder your father left a brat like you Riana. You show me no respect!”
After my grandpa died when I was ten, my grandma, Sasha Wandelina, came to live with us.
Sometimes when my mother would yell or threaten to beat us kids Grandma Sasha would say, “what goes around comes around, darling, you just have to paddle through the crazy.”
My grandma sasha would say stuff like that all the time. She was the only steady thing in this house of chaos.
I spent my time home kneeling at her feet learning all about life. You know, the good stuff.Boys, when and when not to flirt, and the big one, the school bully, Carla Karen.
I remember one time i was at school with my best friend, Carrie Cassidy. We were having our break in the 7th grade. We were standing by our lockers when my crush, Sendin Karma, walked by with his group of friends.
I smiled and waved in a flirtatious way. He waved back, then, Carla and her horrifying group slipped bye. I was so aw-struck by Sendin i didn’t see her sly hand tuck the corner off my skirt into the top rim, completely revealing my underwear.
I heard the girls giggle as they walked away, then my heart was ripped out, Sendin, my crush, leaned over to his group of friends, whispered something, and then they all burst out into an enormous laughter.
Looking down I saw it, at first i just stared and then i realized it was real. I pulled my skirt out, slammed my locker door and ran to the football field bleachers.
I cried and cried until I was about to throw up my lunch.
My best friend, Carrie, soon found me.
I didn’t have to say a word to her, she ran up and embraced me.
"One of these days I'm gonna put her face in!" my best friend said as she raised her fist to the sky.
she may have been a little crazy but she was still my best friend, and i couldn't ask for more.
“Do you ever think he will ever notice me and treat me as if I was even a small bit as beautiful as Carla?”I asked as a stray tear ran down my check and then neck.
“GIRL!!!!!!!” She said as she threw her hands into the air dramatically.
“If you weren’t as pretty as her he wouldn’t have blushed at you when you waved.”
My heart at that moment was thumping and the tears began to stop.
“You really think so?” I asked with an eyebrow raised.
“Of course now don’t let it inflat your overly small ego.” She said bumping me with my elbow when I bagan to stand up, knocking me back down on the ground.
Just then as I stood up and brushed the grass of my butt, the bell rang and me and Carrie raced to the school to finish the afternoon classes.
when i went home that night I quickly washed up and sat down on my bed and stared out the small windows of my tiny room in our apartment. My mom was a very hard worker, but, as a single mother, having two jobs may not make enough income.
I sighed as I thought of how my father had left us.
I pulled my leafs to my chest and began to let the tears flow. Just then i heard the door open and my grandma said one of her infamous vulgar words.
“Really gran do you have to curse?”I said sitting up and wiping the tears away rapidly.
“Stop those tears before the onions I was chopping come in here and give something to really cry about.” She said as she waved a finger at my and nodding her head towards the tears running down my face, I guess my attempts to hide my emotions failed.
“Spill it or I will use tweezers to ply it out of you.” She said popping out her hip and placing a hand on it.
“Well,” I said trying to seem not to uncomfortable. “Carla was just mean to me again that’s all..” I said trying to act like nothing was really wrong. “And Sendai saw my underwear and did nothing to stand up for me, it hurt,it actually hurt and I don’t know why. I mean, I know I don’t have big boobs and a big butt like Carla but I am still a girl and everyone tells me I am beautiful, so why doesn’t he notice me. And most importantly. Why do I even try to be noticed if he doesn’t care?”I said all in one large and cracked voice due to the tears now escaping a whole lot faster now.
My grandma stared strait forward chin on hand and a blank expression on her face.
“Well,” she said as she sighed heavily “was she the one who helped me out with the laundry, is she the one who stood out in the cold trying to help a little girl find her parents, is she the one who has true inner beauty? No! She is none of these, she may think that she has everything because of what she looks like, but she doesn’t have anything that you have. You are unique and that is what makes you special.” She finished her statement with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.
I will never forget that day.
What do you think? Is it good?
