Ruined Photographs
I used to be full of life. I used to have no care in the world. I used to be beautiful. I used to be friendly. I used to have a boyfriend. I used to be loved.
USED TO USED TO USED TO USED TO
the words follow after me like a black cloud. I’m on a train heading home to my apartment I share with a girl I never have talked to other than bills and rent details. It doesn’t feel like home.
Home is sweet. Home is warm and cosy. Home isn’t a pile of ashes. Home isn’t a place of sadness and regret. Home isn’t a place for deaths.
I’m sitting on my bed. I feel like I’m floating in a half awake state. I do most of my things in a daze. After the fire. I barely realise I’ve picked up my phone and have dialled in a random number until it starts to ring
“Hello, this is Butterbery’s Ice-cream Parlour can I take yo-”
“I have a question” I interrupt the boy on the other end
“Um, okay...” he’s cautious
“Describe life in 3 words” The classic question.
“Hmmm, a crazy puzzle, what about you?”
“A ruined photograph”
“Deep. Messed up life?”
I laugh humourlessly “somewhat”
“Too bad I can relate”
“Oh really? I can beat you with the crapiest life any day”
“How bad can it be?”
“I had a perfect life. A boyfriend. A nice sister. Perfect parents. It was picture perfect. I was beautiful. Then by boyfriend broke up with me. I yelled at him, we were at my house and he got angry and went over to the fire and kicked the logs in the fire. The house burnt down, three people died. A mum, dad and older sister. One person remained. Critically injured, mentally scarred. Ex-boyfriend left town. Friends disappeared. She was treated leaving with only one scar running down from the top of her right eyebrow running jaggedly down her face to her chin.
“Shit...........”
“Yeah, it’s been hard”
“...”
“Look-”
“Thank you for your order it’ll be delivered in about 15 minutes”
“Sorry what?”
“My boss walked past, I’ve got to go, I’m working”
“Oh, bye then”
“Bye it’s been nice talking to you”
“Wait, who are you?”
“No one, but I know who you are Vanessa, this is a small town after all”
“Wait! So you knew? Did you and you listened anyway?”
“...”
“Hello?”
“...”
I threw my phone on my bed but for for the first time in over 2 years, I smiled.
