Create New List
Share with your friends
Customize readability

The Figure

All Rights Reserved ©

Summary

A short piece written by myself some time ago now that I wish to put online for criticism featuring an unfortunate man encountering a strange entity and its following of crows.

Status
Complete
Chapters
1
Rating
n/a
Age Rating
18+

The Figure

The man came to his senses to the call of crows cackling in the cold night air. The murder of malicious birds gazed through the closed window at the bound man, the ravenous expectation as clear as it could be on a crow’s face. Yet they knew to wait. The cold walls of the building kept the tender flesh hidden away from their prying, pecking beaks. For now.

The man’s confused groans were swiftly ended by the soft creak of a nearby door. The hush filled the room like a dense fog before it was pushed out by the eerily soft tread of shoes pacing on the concrete. As the footsteps grew louder, the crows saw the man struggling in his bindings and a figure became visible to their beady black eyes. Seconds later, the shadowy figure came into view bearing a black blade that sliced at the man without a word, cutting tendons and shearing the man’s shirt. It wasn’t a killing blow, no. Yet it drove the man into a frenzy of terror induced madness. The poorly lit room came to life as the man threw himself and the wooden chair to the floor with enough force to shatter it into splinters. The victim crawled as quickly as he could when he hit the floor. It wasn’t difficult for him to reach the corner of the room as the shadowy figure watched. Now the man was on his feet, holding a piece of splintered wood in his shaking hands. There was nowhere to hide in the darkened room and there was nowhere to run lest he jumped from the window the crows were watching from. The figure had the only door covered.

The seconds seemed to tick by as the two stood there. Not a word was said, not a move was made. Not until the man let out a scream and charged at the Figure. The Figure did not hesitate as it countered the awkward swing from the desperate man with a cut to his wrist and a sidestep. From here, there was little the man could do as the figure approached from behind and drove the dagger into the man’s spine with an audible crunch of bone as his back gave way to the pressure. The victim collapsed and blackened blood began to flow out of the wound, like a foul fountain. The Figure did little to react as its victims lay there, it put away its blade and watched for a few moments as the blackened blood flow turned from a torrent of terrible poison to a trickle of red. When the Figure moved to open the window the crows moved in anticipation yet again.

The police had found another one. Another body strung from a building with its eyes pecked out and it’s body blackened with some strange substance. Even as five cars with a total of twenty officers gathered around the thing, a murder of crows was picking it clean of any exposed flesh left. The body hung there awkwardly from the window, each hand-bound to the pane itself with straps of leather and steel; frankly, it was a miracle the pane had not collapsed. An officer just below the body sighed in frustration as he heard the report so far, it had been exactly the same as the others. No links to other victims, nothing left by the killer, they weren’t even sure what the black gunk was in the victim’s body.

While the police watched the body, the crows watched from the rooftops. Dozens, if not hundreds of the birds watched from high up. Their cold eyes staring at their fellows feasting on the corpse with jealousy, then to the police officers with a look of malice incomprehensible to humans.

The Figure would not strike now, not soon. Yet there it stood, just out of sight of any officer who would look up, covered in black binding and feathers wearing a beaked mask adorned with the dried substances from each of his victims. The crows would sigh if they could, for they knew they would have to wait a little longer.

Let Tundrah know what you thought about this chapter!
Love this

0

Love this

Funny

0

Funny

Spicy

0

Spicy

Suspenseful

0

Suspenseful

Emotional

0

Emotional

Profound

0

Profound

Heartwarming

0

Heartwarming

Shocking

0

Shocking

Good Writing

0

Good Writing

Compelling Plot

0

Compelling Plot

Great Character

0

Great Character

Strong Dialog

0

Strong Dialog

Further Recommendations

Fallen Angel

Suiihera: OMG, I just finished reading your story, and I really enjoyed it! The world you've created is fascinating. As I was reading, I could easily picture the characters, emotions, and key moments unfolding visually.Have you ever considered adapting it into a visual storytelling format such as a comic, man...

Read Now
In Between Two Alphas

YukkeTee: This omega-centric ABO story crafts a touching tripartite love between one vulnerable heroine and two distinct alphas. Plagued by clan prejudice and deadly schemes at first, the trio struggles hard to fight against outdated mating rules and vicious foes. After collecting ancient legal records and ov...

Read Now
Furry Humans

StoryWeaverX: I came across your work and it hit differently. I have a perspective on it I think you'd find interesting mind if I share?

Read Now
One Way To Live Is To Make A Zombie Fall For You

Emily012: Fiona’s fear and resilience shine brilliantly.

Read Now
The Shadow in the Flame

Sarah: Your story has become one of my favorites. I love how you developed the characters over time. Are you already working on another story, or do you have any ideas for future projects?

Read Now
Call Me Martin

Lesedi: Great suspension

Read Now
The Emperor's Gift

Elisa_sims: Hey! Sorry if I'm bothering you by reaching out here.I'm Elisa Sims, a fellow reader. I came across your story and wanted to ask if you'd ever be interested in custom artwork, concept art or illustrations for it. I love helping authors bring their worlds to life and visuals can be a great way to att...

Read Now
Feeders - Max and Axle

Max1andRuby2: I was liking the story idea and got through a few chapters, but had to stop as the writing itself was so poor. It’s written simply, (the narrative and dialogue are basic and choppy) with many grammatical and spelling errors. I would love to see this rewritten with significant editing to correct the ...

Read Now
MAFIA ROMANCE | REDEMPTION | THE LONDON CRIME KING | ONE

Sara J : I just finished this book for a second time. I was so impressed with the book the first time and then the second time was even more fascinating because there was so much more that I hadn’t noticed the first time in regards to the character depth and foreshadowing. This author is truly talented and I...

Read Now