Chapter One
Chapter one: Mastering My Courage
Chase POV
Today is the day, the day that I’m going to confess to my crush of six years, as stupid as it sounds I’m pretty much confident that I got this because I’ve been preparing myself for like a month and now I’m ready, ready to let Dereck know that I like him, I look at my reflection in the mirror for god knows how many times and fix a strand of hair that was out of place and nod with my appearance.
I look pretty good if I do say so myself.
“Chase get the fuck out mom’s finished with breakfast!” My sister banged on my door loudly and I roll my eyes before grabbing my backpack and my phone right when it starts ringing.
“Hey, babe,” I greet cheerfully but I only received a grumble at the other line and I already know exactly what the problem is.
It’s the time of the month.
“I’m outside,” was her simple reply and just like that she hangs up on me, I wanted to pout and call her back just to hang up on her but I know my ride to school is on the line so instead I put my phone in my pocket and exit my room.
I run down the stairs quickly and turn the corner before I bump into a hard chest, I look up and smile sheepishly at my dad and reach on my tiptoe to kiss his cheeks.
“Hi, dad,”
“Hey baby,” he ruffles my perfectly done hair and I slap his hand away playfully.
“I’m not a baby anymore dad, I’m a big boy,” I say and try to at least fix my hair back the way it was before.
“Big boys don’t run downstairs like little boys if I remember correctly,” he chuckles and I pout.
“I was in a hurry Hazel is here to pick me up,”
“Have a nice day son,” he kiss my forehead and pat my hair once more and I smile.
“You too dad,” I wave and watch him walk out the house most likely he’s heading to the garage I wanted to tell my dad about my sexuality but I’m afraid of being a disappointment and losing the relationship I have with him. I sigh and walk into the dining room where my sister was finishing her breakfast and my mom and Hazel were talking about girl stuff.
“Morning mom,” I say and grab a piece of bacon and a sausage before grabbing Hazel’s hands so we could go but mom stops me.
“Morning honey but sit down and eat your breakfast,” she says sternly and I shake my head.
“Mom I have an important mission that I need to accomplish and I don’t want to get nervous and threw up my breakfast.”
“What’s the mission about?” She asks curiously and I look at Hazel for help because I did not have an excuse and I sure as hell can’t tell her that I’m going to confess to my crush because I was still too far in the closet.
“Presentations,″ she blurts out quickly before shrugging, I sigh when mom nods but I knew by the knowing glance she’s sending my way that she didn’t buy it.
“Ok, then Chase, you might as well get the trash with you on your way out.” Mom says and I groan in displeasure.
“Mom, I’m going to school I don’t want to smell like trash,” I whine I’m not going in front of Dereck smelling like trash that’ll just ruin everything.
“Honey, you are trash,” she says nonchalantly making me gasp and Hazel snicker next to me.
“Wow, thanks, mom y’know, for finally telling me the truth after all these years,” I reply sarcastically and snatch the trash bag.
“You’re welcome honey, and you know mommy loves you right?” She cooed I didn’t answer her simply just to show her my discomfort as I exit the house I could hear her giggles and Hazel’s also as she follows me out.
After dumping the stupid trash in the dumpster I climb in Hazel’s car with a pout.
“I love your mom,” she laughs and turns on the ignition.
“Shuddap,” I grumble under my breath and fasten my seat belt.
“Okay, serious talk now,” she pulls out of our parking lot and glance at me quickly, “are you sure you’re ready for this? You know you don’t have to tell him right?”
“I know Haz, but I want to I’ve been holding on to it for too long, I just want him to know my feelings even though I know he’ll reject me.” I fumble with my fingers with a frown and pull my knees up to my chest and this time for once she didn’t curse me to hell and back for putting my foot on her car seat.
“You don’t know for sure,” she says and I give her the look.
“Haz he’s not gay, he’s the straightest guy I know so I’m sure he’ll flat out reject me and besides he’s into little Mitchy bitchy,” I sneer and she snorts and shakes her head in disgust, I could never figure out why he’s hanging out with the attention seeking whore but there’s a possibility that he’s in love with her or he’s probably being blackmailed but whatever it is I don’t like it. I don’t like seeing him with her or any other girls at that.
“Are you serious? Have you not seen the way he looks at her? I’m sure if both of them were in a room together Dereck would’ve killed himself before she even had the time to open her mouth.” She says and I sigh resting my head on my knees pathetically I know she was right because Dereck wasn’t really fond of Mitch but I needed an excuse as to why he would reject me more like a reason really and there are plenty but that was the first thing that came to mind.
“You can go on ahead and call me stupid.”
“You are stupid,” she deadpan and I pout up at her.
“Show some sympathy gee,”
“I’m just telling you what you wanted to hear,” she giggles and I roll my eyes.
“You know that wasn’t really what I wanted to hear,” I mumble.
“I know but it’s your choice and I accept that if that’s really what you want to do, of course, I’ll support and help you through it that’s what best friends are for,″ she says softly and grab my hand before giving it a reassuring squeeze which I return back.
“Thanks, Hazel,” I smile feeling a bit better and less nervous than before she hums in response before a comfortable silence fell between us and my mind take that as a cue to start wondering about the boy I’ve been in love with for years.
The handsome popular QB Derick Starr who I fell in love with our first time meeting each other after moving to this town, he wasn’t the typical cliché popular boy who bullied the small kids or people below him because he feels like it or sleep around with all the girls in school, but in fact he was the complete opposite he was quite nice and caring about others which got me jealous sometimes when I see him being nice to other people I know I was being inconsiderate and greedy but I couldn’t help it I just want more of his attention, I want him to noticed me as a guy he would probably fell in love with someday and not as a guy he thought he needed to be nice to.
I snort and shake my head there’s no way he would feel the same way as I do no matter how much I dream of it but I’ve already decided that I’m going to confess no matter what... Probably.
Hopefully, today ends well.
