"You've got to punch with more force, you're turning too hard. You keep on stopping yourself, short man, try stepping more into it." Raul was chastizing Alphonse again, he really believed he was an incredible boxer, he just wished he'd put more effort into his practice. Alphonse kept swinging into the air the whole time clumsily missing the mark "I really think it'd be easier if I were practicing on a bag, why can't I do that?" he asked a little defeated. "Are you tryna be a Mark or a Mike? This ain't punch out man, you won't get anything out of just hitting the bag your power is fine what's wrong is your form and your footwork so you shadow-box in that ring till you drop." Alphonse sighed rolling his eyes "Fine, but only for a little longer I've got stuff to do later."
After the workout Alphonse was sitting alone in the locker room, going through his phone, waiting for a message that won't come. He thought to himself what's the point? What exactly is he trying so hard for? He was in the best shape of his life, for the first time it seemed as if he had more friends than he could count. Why was he sitting here alone waiting for a text he never thought would come? Just then Raul walked in "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked with genuine concern. "I'm not really sure, there's just a lot going on right now." Alphonse hid his phone quickly hoping Raul would just drop it. "Don't tell me all this mopping is over a girl" Raul teased "Hey, can we not?" Alphonse's face muted "It is, isn't it? There are millions of girls all over the world don't get so worked over just one chick" Alphonse glared at Raul now clearly upset "God, you kids are so annoying, I forgot how dramatic teenagers could be. Why don't you put more effort into your boxing?" Raul continued. "So you just wanted to bother me more about my form? I'll work on it. Just like, leave me alone." Alphonse was clearly annoyed. "No...I just don't really know what to tell you bud, you've gotta take these small victories. I was your age too, I had my heartbroken, I get it. I really do, but you've gotta work past it. Don't dwell on this or you'll end up slacking everywhere else, and where will that get you? Nowhere. Is that what you want?" Raul looked at Alphonse, waiting for his response hoping to have made him think. "You can't help the speeches? You talk a lot, I'm not going to magically feel better just because you told me to." Alphonse turned away from Raul closing the locker.
Raul tapped Alphonse on the arm "I'll tell you what my mother told me when I was your age. Love isn't a kindness, love is undefined. When we think we are in love, the chaos that brings will test the mettle of our honors, love is never what we believe it to be. Love is not a simple task, love is not comforting. We can't choose love or to be loved even if we want love or crave to give love. Love can be painful, trying, hard. Love will never come if the love has not been earned. It cannot be bought, kept, or stolen. You cannot pray for love, you cannot die for love or even live for it. Love is love and will be there when it is meant to be and when it isn't it won't." Raul patted Alphonse on his head messing up his long thin hair, he walked away in silence till he got to the door, letting Alphonse absorb the moment. "See ya later champ" Raul quipped sighing exasperatedly. "Yeah, see ya." Alphonse said meekly almost unheard.
Sitting alone on the bus Alphonse was letting his mind wander, he thought to himself about the Nordic myths he used to read about in comics as a child and about how stupid the protagonist of every Junji Ito manga was. He wondered about life and love and what authors meant to communicate by writing about those things and he wondered if he could ever pull something like that off. "When the gods fought the frost giants is this how they felt? Did Odin truly know he would surmount the insurmountable? Or was the ending of Ragnorok simply an author who had written himself into a corner giving up and just resetting everything lazily leaving it up to our own interpretations." He monologued to himself like this for the duration of the bus ride home pondering and wondering the most useless things that children especially children in transition to adulthood specifically the children who think that they're talented or special in any way often do.
Once home Alphonse walked past his mother, not that she noticed, and went straight to lay in bed, no shower or food, he simply could not be bothered. He laid there for hours staring at a contextually empty screen, he had plenty of texts from friends, comments on facebook, a few likes and direct messages on Instagram, even Kik, and WhatsApp had an unusual amount of admiring women sending not so secretly coded "I like you" messages. Still contextually it was empty, Rai hadn't texted him. She hadn't so much as even acknowledge his existence these past few days "I wonder if I shouldn't have said that. Maybe I scared her off. I was fine as a friend. I could've just not told her, I'm fucking dumb." Alphonse mumbled to himself, just then his phone flickered and he received a new message, speak of the devil he thought. The message read "Hey, sorry. I've been really busy my parents want me home early and my sister really doesn't like me out late she always questions who I'm with. Art club with Mrs.Sovata was fun though, it ran late so I couldn't meet you at the bus. We still down for next week shopping at Bay Plaza with Henrietta tho?" Alphonse didn't know how to respond. He just shot back a generic text, he waited all this time just to say "It's cool. Yeah, I'll see you then." He wondered if he should've said more. Another beep another message "Awww hell yeah, well I'll look forward to, night night. Mew!" Rai was a strange girl, that's what Alphonse thought anyway. He was glad he heard from her though. He could finally rest, and so he did. Dreams of what could and would be or perhaps won't and wouldn't be fluttering and festering in his mind. Why do the young always think they're special?