The Boyfriend Project

Yes. My boyfriend just dumped me, at my doorstep, on our 10 month anniversary.

I spent two hours curling my ridiculously straight hair, painstakingly applying my makeup, and changing my outfit numerous times, because I wanted this date to be perfect.

As soon as he rang the doorbell, I waited an extra few seconds before opening it, counting audibly to five to make it seem like I hadn’t been standing by the door waiting for him.

He didn’t even bother to take me out.

I opened the door to face Xander, but something was very clearly wrong. His sea blue eyes didn’t shine like they usually did, and his wavy blond hair didn’t seem quite as angelic. He was still hot, but the look in his bright eyes filled my heart with fear.

My mind cycled through a million scenarios in a second. Did his grandma die? His cat Buttercup? It was worse than I let myself imagine.

“Listen, Savannah we need to talk.”

My brain stopped spinning, coming to a halt suddenly and abruptly. Adrenaline flushed through my heart. My hands grew cold. This was the way all break-up conversations started. I had read enough teen romance to be sure of that.

I crossed my arms, partially to keep the sudden rush of emotions from spilling out, and partially to keep my hands from turning to ice.

“I just don't think this is going to work out.” Xander awkwardly refused to make eye contact with me as he rubbed the back of his neck.

My next part was to ask why, but I didn’t. I knew he was eyeing the cheer captain, Meredith. There was no way I could compete with her. Cruel, shallow, and plain stupid, no one was her equal.

I didn’t understand why Meredith was popular. All the teachers and most of the student body hated her. She cheated on literally every test, and her grades were still underwater.

I took a deep breath. I didn’t realize how much of my life was centered on Xander until that moment. Everything shattered to the floor, suddenly and aggressively. I felt like a broken doll, worn and torn in a matter of ten months.

Boys had left me for other girls before. Derek, in third grade, stopped dating me because Grace moved into our class and she could burp on command. Eric started dating a girl on the cross country team, and Devin dumped me for an online relationship.

I just thought that this time, it was different. It felt so real, so right, so much different than other relationships.

Xander was always genuine, always so sincere. And now sincere and genuine Xander ripped my heart out.

“Ok. Xander. Sure.” He really had a gift for timing. Homecoming was next week. Sadie and I were planning on going dress shopping soon.

I kept the tears at bay, my nails digging into my palms. “It’s fine.” It was barely a whisper. I wanted to say something, anything to get him to stay longer, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. The tears would take over.

This was looking a lot like when Dad left, ten years ago. He said he was going to come back, but it was eight years later and he still hadn’t shown up. I couldn’t help but think that it was somehow my fault.

My throat was constricted and tight. It restricted my breathing. My eyes stung. Thinking about Dad always brought that deep hurt of betrayal. I just never thought that Xander could bring the same feeling.

Xander inspected the lawn with uncanny and comical interest, something I would’ve probably laughed at if in the right mood.

I blinked away the forming tears, daring to use my sleeve to wipe carefully under my eyes.

“What do you even see in her?” I asked.

Xander returned his gaze and blinked in surprise. He ignored my question.

“Uh,” he said, “I gotta go… Things won’t be awkward right?” He took his hands from the back of his neck and shoved them in his expensive jeans.

“Sure.” I quickly responded. We would probably just ignore each other. Xander looked into my eyes for the last time. I wanted to reach out and wrap my arms around him. I wanted him to kiss the pain away, needed it even. I felt like a small child. I felt eight again.

……

The rain drizzled gloomily down the window pane, each soft droplet matched each of my own silent tears. But I wasn’t paying attention to the rain.

I watched as Dad’s full head of blond hair opened the truck door, got in, and left the neighborhood, without looking back.

It was the same car we went to the pet store and bought Charlie from. The same vehicle we went to get ice cream in just last week.

I didn’t wonder when he was coming back, I knew he was gone for good, but I did wonder where he would go, would he see a camel or elephant? I wondered why he couldn’t take me with him.

…….

On days like these, I began to re-wonder.

“Ok. Well. See ya, Savannah.” Xander strolled casually back to his small convertible.

I shut the door quickly, refusing to let myself watch him drive down the road, permanently out of my life, like Dad.

My face burned not only because of jealousy, but also with the shame of a girl left behind. First by her father, and then by boy after boy.

Meredith didn’t deserve Xander. But no matter what I thought, she would probably be sitting, laughing, even flirting with Xander on Monday, and I would be forgotten.

I walked inside. As I shut the door on a ten-month relationship I almost broke down. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

I heard my mom’s voice in the kitchen. “Hold on one second.” She addressed the phone. “Savannah? Are you still here?”

I cleared my throat. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just a change of plans.” She wasn't a big fan of having a high school boyfriend, and at this moment, I full heartedly agreed. I felt ashamed.

I quickly wiped my eyes on my sleeves and ran upstairs to my room.

“Ok. Would you mind switching the laundry?” Mom called up to me before returning to her phone call.

I completely broke down. I slumped to the floor and pulled out my phone.

My wallpaper was a picture of Xander and I together and happy. It was the date when we went to the aquarium. Fish of all colors dotted the edges of the picture.

I texted Sadie, my best friend since sixth grade.

“Xander broke up with me.” The words were so hopeless.

I erased it and called her instead.

She answered, “Hey Savannah. What’s up? Aren’t you supposed to be with Xander?”

I huffed. “Yeah, that was my plan.” I felt fresh tears well in my eyes, and I couldn’t say anything else.

Sadie gasped audibly. “Oh my gosh! I’ll be there in five. Don’t die before I get there.”

I heard Sadie’s light footsteps ascending the stairs to my room. I cried, stuffing my face with Oreos and the ice cream she brought me.

She sat beside me, one hand on my shoulder and the other holding her phone up to her face, tapping rhythmically.

Suddenly she dropped her glittery phone in her lap. “What are you going to do Savannah?”

I paused for a moment, surprised.

“Sadie. He broke up with me for Meredith.”

I put another Oreo into my mouth to keep my lip from quivering. “I don’t know what to do.” I said with my mouth full.

An eager pity grew in her eyes. I wondered when the story of a girl doing some serious damage to a family size pack of Oreos would pop up on her instagram story.

“Oh, Savannah I’m so sorry!”

The tears came back into my eyes, but I hurriedly wiped them away.

I was done crying for someone who had dumped me for the cheer captain. “No. No. Please don’t. I just...” I trailed off, a fresh batch of sobs erupting from my chest.

Sadie looked me up and down, perking up. “We’ll start with a new look.” She said. “Daddy gave me a new credit limit.” She smiled wide.

“Wait what? What does that mean?”

“Revenge silly. You really need to keep up.”

She ushered me to the bathroom.

She started rummaging through my drawers. “You could be beautiful Savannah. All you need is to experiment with different colors.” Sadie said as she pulled out my small eyeshadow palette, contemplating it with her expressive blue eyes.

“That’s the problem with grey eyes Sadie. There aren’t any colors that match with them.”

Sadie pulled out her phone and started typing.

“Snapchat?” I asked. I half wondered when she would expose Xander and Meredith. Now was as good a time as any.

She laughed. “Lol. No. Just a shopping list.”

Sadie left the bathroom and aimed for my closet. After picking up and carefully inspecting each article of clothing, she threw my clothes into two piles. “This one you can keep.”

She pointed to the one farthest away from me. “The other one we donate.” I sighed. The clothes I happened to like were in the trash pile, including my new Flash t-shirt Forest got me from Comic-Con.

“Sadie, I’m not going to give up these clothes. These are my favorite!” I pulled up a Pikachu shirt my little brother Logan had gotten me for my birthday.

“Look how cute this is! I’m keeping this.”

I started picking out my favorite clothes out of the “unwanted and unattractive” pile of clothes.

Each of these shirts represented time and memories spent and made with Logan and Forest.

Forest was my age, my neighbor, and super smart. All these facts made it super easy and convenient for him to be my study partner, at least, for me. I’m not sure why he stuck around, but he was just always there. That’s probably why he was one of my best friends.

Sadie shook her head and started texting furiously. I wondered if she was saying something about my nerd collection of t-shirts, then I realized she wouldn’t waste time on that when the hottest guy in school was suddenly single.

I sighed and put all the shirts except the Pikachu one back into the pile. I hid it under my blankets on my messy bed.

Sadie suddenly looked up, rolling her eyes.

“Savannah. Are you done acting like a five-year-old? These are just clothes. You got dumped by the most attractive guy in school and you are worried about keeping your Pokémon shirt?”

So, apparently, she had seen me hide the shirt, but I hadn’t worn these shirts in so long. Xander made fun of them, but I loved them.

. . .

“Come on Savannah!” Mom yelled up the stairs. “Xander is here!”

I looked at my phone. He was five minutes early. I looked down at my red jeans and a pink lace shirt. I winced. They clashed so bad. I was in a hurry, but not that much.

I grabbed the first shirt in my closet I could find. My Pikachu shirt. I threw it over my head and headed downstairs.

Xander rarely told me where we were going. That was one thing I loved about him. He really knew how to make things romantic.

But after all, jeans and a t-shirt weren’t the right things to wear. I knew that as soon as I saw Xander in his suit.

When I got into his car, I could’ve sworn he groaned.

“Savannah. Uh. You look... interesting.” Thick awkwardness filled the car. I waited for Xander to continue.

“Um.” He said. “I got reservations at Le Blanche but since you wore...” He paused.

I was annoyed at him. If he would’ve just told me where we were going, I could’ve dressed accordingly.

“Casual clothes.” I said at the same time he said, “Geek clothes.”

. . .

That was the first fight we were in as a couple.

I felt the anger pulse through my face. Sadie was right.

“How long was Xander acting strange?” Sadie asked me very matter-of-factly, taking me out of my reverie.

“I don’t know.” I mumbled, feeling miserable all over again. Here was Sadie, gathering all the latest gossip. Normally it didn’t bother me, but then again, it normally wasn’t about me.

Sadie made me load the ugly clothes in boxes and into her car.

“I don’t want you to be tempted.” She said as I took the final box to her car.

“Thanks Sadie” I said as she closed her trunk, got in her car, and drove away.

I knew my eyes were puffy and red, so I went to my bathroom to wash my face. I entered but didn’t bother to close the door. The cool water was refreshing and exactly what I needed.

“SAVANNAH!” Logan, my little brother called as he walked up the stairs.

He must’ve seen me in the bathroom, because I felt his presence beside me as I washed my face.

“Savannah, Forest’s-“ He stopped himself as I lifted my face to inspect myself in the mirror.

“What happened!?” He asked, his voice dripping in surprise.

I laughed, and it made me feel relaxed.

“Just a little drama.” I assured him.

“Oh. Well, you look awful.”

I tousled his hair. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”.

“Should I tell him you don’t feel good?”

Logan asked with concern.

I smiled. “Why? I got this.”

Logan beat me downstairs, barreling into an unsuspecting Forest.

“Hey Logan!” Forest said enthusiastically.

Forest was kind enough to ignore my eyes. Since we usually didn’t have homework over the weekends, we often sat on the couch and played Wii games until Mom kicked him out during the early morning hours.

“I brought your favorite.” Forest said, holding up an entire tub of Twizzler. This kid knew me so well. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Don’t you hate Twizzler?” I asked.

“But you don’t. They aren’t for me.”

So, generally, people are kind enough to make a compromise with you on things. Forest was willing to completely forget about what he wanted.

Logan rolled his eyes. “Did you bring the Twizzler for me too?” He asked.

Forest addressed Logan.

“You’d better start kissing up to your sister. Maybe then she’ll share. You ready to get creamed in Mario Kart?”

“No way man. I beat you and Savannah last time.”

Yes, Forest and I were worse than Logan, but we were still willing to play. It was a blast.

Mom ordered pizza and the games began.

The night was a good distraction, but my sadness gradually turned to fury. Even after Forest left and Logan and I went to bed, I couldn’t sleep. How could someone be such a jerk? Boys were stupid creatures. The pain hit me fresh. I wanted to show Xander I didn’t need him, and that was exactly what I was planning to do.

Sadie woke me up the next morning with three bags of makeup to experiment with. We went up to my bathroom where she sprayed, brushed, and rubbed new makeup into my face.

“Sadie,” I said. “Even if I’m stunning after this, it won’t be enough. I need to show him I’m perfect without him. I need something more dramatic.”

Sadie’s face burst into a wicked grin. Then, said in an obvious manner, “That's revenge. We’ll get you a new boyfriend. One who's better, hotter, and more popular than Xander.”

I tried to smile, to show that exuberance that Sadie always seemed to have, but I just felt miserable. “Great.”

Sadie picked out an outfit and jewelry fit for Monday.

She already donated most of my clothes, but she promised that we would go shopping after school on Monday.

We spent the whole day in finding the best colors matching my skin tone perfectly. Who knew makeup took so much effort?

When Sadie finally surveyed my face with a look of approval, it was pretty late. “Stage one of the Boyfriend Project complete.” She smiled widely, showing her perfect pearly whites.