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Aa

Songs I wrote

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Summary

Here are some songs I wrote to get things off my mind

Status
6yrs ago
Chapters
11
Rating
5.0
Age Rating
13+

A little girls prayer

Out in the country far back in the field there’s a house built on a foundation of wood where a 8 year old girl spends all of her time praying for a better life she prays her parents wouldn’t yell so much she prays that their voices would once again be music to her ears she prays for all of that tonight~

Chorus:

A prayer goes unnoticed like her so called depression or the flag that wipes in the wind, her flawless family is now so different that she can’t even remember who she is, she’s lost to in her thoughts, her sorrow, and redemption that she doesn’t notice her fear of a blessing

Verse two:

The wind cries out her name as she holds a locket in her hand that holds a picture of the family she once knew, it makes her wonder why life makes changes, that make everything seem new some are good but most are bad she just wants back what she had~

Chorus:

A prayer goes unnoticed like her so called depression or the flag that wipes in the wind her flawless family is now so different that she can’t even remember who she is, she’s lost to in her thoughts, her sorrow, and redemption that she doesn’t notice her fear of a blessing

Verse three:

She uncovers her ears and doesn’t hear the screams of the parents that she once knew, she listens carefully and hears the soothing lullaby her mother used to sing her to sleep, she walks to the kitchen and realized her family had its flaws just like them all but she loved them either way, as she slowly drifts to sleep she cried softly and whispered ”I finally found my family.”

Let Love and hope know what you thought about this chapter!
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Funny

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Funny

Spicy

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Spicy

Suspenseful

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Suspenseful

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Emotional

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Good Writing

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Compelling Plot

Great Character

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Great Character

Strong Dialog

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Strong Dialog

View 4 previous comments…
author

thanks I just got it

7 years
author

ok, so this song was really good! there were not as many errors as the last song I pointed out. so here is a list of mistakes! 1. commas and periods.      2. instead of, "family flawless." how about, "flawless family."        3. instead of, "who I get am" how about, "who she is." since it seems to be your the narrator, not the girl.       4. get rid of to in, "she's lost to in her thoughts."                          

7 years
author

yeah I wanted to get it fixed fast

7 years

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