Chapter 1 - Confession
A life for a 19-year-old boy, like me, is hard. For the past few years, I had to deal with my family and friends the fact that I am gay seemed to shock everyone, I mean it’s fine if they are. If I were in their place I would’ve felt disgusted too, but seeing them avoid me and treating me this badly felt awful.
I mean this is my family...why would they treat me this way?
. These feelings of getting neglect, and abuse...why can’t they just love me for who I?
My parents kicked me out of my own house when I confessed my feelings out to them. They didn’t understand my feelings at all, at first they tried to divert my mind from men, which didn’t work out as I was already in a deep connection with them. No matter how they tried, it didn’t work so they kicked me out because they were afraid about what the society would care and not about me. I was 16+ so I got a good job and bought an apartment, I was free but really lonely.
I knew I was gay when I was in 10th grade.
It was when I was with a boy near the school fields. We used to hang out all the time. As time went by, he had fair hair and sky blue eyes, when he smiled at me I felt like the most important person in the world. His voice was kind and smooth like a small river wandering through a forest.
I felt as if I wanted more from him than friendship. The temptation of touching his face made me go crazy, his smooth pale skin against my hand felt like heaven.
He was Rook Haru, I felt like I was floating whenever I was near him, at first it felt weird and gross to think about something more than friendship. Due time, I accepted my feelings towards him., become more than friends
Here in front of this very oak tree, I had my very first kiss. It was Friday, the day before the summer holidays, I and Rook were talking about what we would do over the summer. Then when it was time for us to say goodbye, I felt like crying, not seeing Rook for the next 6 weeks felt like the end of the world. Rook saw my gloomy face, he took me to the oak tree and said he wanted to give me a present. Me being myself, love gifts, he told me to close my eyes, I did so...
... And then he kissed me.
It felt so dream-like. This was my first kiss. Rook proposed to me and I couldn’t help but say yes, we kissed all night long. He came over every single night and comforted me, this carried on for a few months. I had the best time in the world, I truly loved him, more than anything or anyone else I’ve ever loved. I’m also happy that he liked me back and that he made me happy. I wished for him to be mine forever but as time went by love doesn’t always last.
