Condemned and Defiant

I wish that the world could be better, that the gavel striking down would not condemn people to a life of pain and suffering, destroying the future that people, young and old, worked for. A single act by a corrupt judges ends people’s lives. I look at the bare broken concrete wall, remembering in the harsh dark wood of the monstrous weapon that lay in his hand. The cruel smile on his face as he twirled it in his palm.The sharp cracks of the sound scaring all those opposed, and the blood lust in his eyes, the predators lingering gaze on his prey made me fear him. I wonder at what society must have come to, to be able to put these beasts in power, for they aren’t even a wolf in sheep’s clothing, they are not masked. I can almost see the red droplets drip down his teeth, the bitter wine looking like a rich feral blood on this man. Can they not see? Do they not care? Do they not know that he makes unjust civilians, letting the guilty run free while the blood of innocents bathe his hand.

I watch as the guards walk the hall outside, the steel bars through my window covering their faces in shadows. They are the only human contact that I get, yet I couldn’t even call it human. Their wretched rotting teeth show as they snarl and spit at me, taunting me, cutting me. The food they give me is sludge like, lacking the nutrients that I need to survive. But of course they didn’t care. The malevolence in their eyes shining with a hint of madness. Looking into them I couldn’t help but think they should be the ones under a ball and chain, the key thrown out for good. But of course that can not be how this world works, there is no fairness left.

I look to the concrete again, imagining the life I have lived up until that fateful day. The life of an absentee father and a working mother, trying their best to raise me. My mother’s eyes shining bright as the dull edge of a blade cut into her flesh, a slow and painful death. I couldn’t believe it when my father was there, covered in the weight of his sins yet looking like he was as light as a feather. My brother screamed, rushing toward him in a barreling run, that is until the silver lashed out into his gut, the momentum carrying him harshly to the ground. As I saw the family I loved crumble into dust, eyes showing the distinct sign of death, something in me broke. I couldn’t feel the pain that I should have, only having one goal as I looked to my “father” with a blank expression. I reached into the waistband of my jeans for the gift he gave me before leaving. The one that he dared give a child, hoping for me to follow his footsteps. The heavy plastic felt cold in my hands, my brain barely registering anything as a click was heard, the thunk of a body as a thundering crack left it. I stood motionless, emotionless, hearing the wailing of sirens in the distance. My brain not comprehending the doors getting knocked down, the guns pointed at my head as mine lay on the ground unmoving. Their bodies hit into me, throwing me into the ground, cracking my head against the ground until I couldn’t see.

My mind wandered back to the days of waiting in that holding cell, barely noticing anything around me, the aching in my heart too strong for anything to break through my grief. That is until fear. The fear when I saw his eyes looking down at me, seeing a new toy to play with in this chilling court.

I was brought back into the present when I heard a metal clang, looking to the guard with his sickening smile. “You’ve got a visitor girl.” his voice came through, the meaning of the words chilling my blood as the two weeks here I had no visitors, nobody left in this world that would comfort me in the face of such cruelty. I had no one left. I tell myself that it’s going to be ok, yet deep down I keep coming back to the fact that the only people who loved me died that night, and my hope for anything good in this society along with them. I saw the lock turn, my first glimpse beyond the four gray walls entrapping me, but the only thing rushing through me was fear. A sense of foreboding filling my body, instead of the hope I longed to remember. But I knew better than to wish for anything more.