The Gift
At every slip-up, I was punished
A little child, caught with my hand in the candy jar
Crying as a belt hit my bare legs
They said they did it because they loved me
Yet gave me more because I cried
I wasn’t allowed to watch movies with friends
Because Disney might make me a Satanist
I was cut off from Mickey Mouse
Because he said a magic spell
To bring his clubhouse to life
I was only allowed to watch things that taught me
That taught me about God
And blocked out all else
I got older, I grew up, noticed things I didn’t before
And I got told the things I was feeling were wrong
I opened up to them at thirteen
And was insulted and forced back into hiding again
I was scared of them again, my mind started warping
Making me wonder if I had anyone at all
Spiraling further into my own head
So I thank them for my problems
I thank them for my fears
I panic when a balloon pops
(It reminds me of the belt)
I get nervous when I talk to my partner
(I don’t want to hide again)
And I thank them for those irrational fears
I thank them for the dark days
(The dark days seem to be every day)
And the days I can’t get out of bed
(I never want to get out of bed)
I thank them every day and tell them I love them
(Because I’m scared of what they might do if I don’t)
When really I wish they would stop pretending
That the life they give me is a gift.
