Meet My Family
Hi! I'm Devan! I look like someone off of a dream show, at least, that's what my mom says. I know I'm not all that though. I have brown hair that covers my forehand and almost my neck. Half my neck. Its also very curly.
My mom is always in a dress and has straight brown hair. She always wears a lot of make up, but she still looks amazing.
Then my dad! He is almost never home. But he has black short hair that gently curls on top of his head. He only comes to visit on the last day of the month, but was gone the rest of the time.
Well I think that's every thing.
****
Monday~
The alarm clock blared in ear making me groan and throw it off the desk. That only made it worst as it beeped against the ground. "Ok ok! I'm up." I yawned getting up and turning it off, putting it on the desk.
"What to wear..." I looked up and down my closet spotting the perfect out fit for today. A white hoodie with blue jeans. I got in the shower and turned on the warm water. I looked at myself in the mirror, wow I did look good.
I got in the shower and put shampoo in my hair and ran my hands through my hair. It felt so nice to be in the shower, I thought as i rinsed my hair. Getting out of the shower was the hard part, but school called and I had to.
I dried off and put my clothes on and admired myself in the mirror before heading off to eat breakfast, "hey mom." I said as I sat down. She was in the middle of cooking and if she didn't hurry, I was gonna be late to school.
"Hello darling." She said with a small smile on her face. "I'm almost done with breakfast, could you get me the plates?"
"Of course!" I got the plates from the drawer and held them for my mom to put food on. She grabbed one of the plates and put food on it, doing the same for the other."this looks so good mom."
"Thank you sweetie, at least someone likes it." She glared at the dog playfully as the dog wagged the end of its tail. "Yes I'm looking at you." She chuckled.
I ate my food faster than I normally would so I wouldn't be late fore school, "thanks mom it was delicious." I said as I kissed her cheek and grabbed my back pack. "Bye!" I waved as I left the house.
I got into my car and drove to the school. "I wonder what's on the radio." I said as I turned on the radio. There was a lot of country music that didn't really spike my interests. I turned it back off and drove the rest of the way quietly.
I arrived at the school just in time. I quickly walked into the school as the bell rang, phew!
"Hey! Hows it going?" My best friend Max was always waiting for me at the entrance. I didn't know how it was possible, he just always was. I liked it though.
"Pretty good, my mom makes the best breakfast!" My mom couldn't cook, she sucked at it. Breakfast? Baking? Yup, she ruled that.
"Dude your mom is the bomb!" He chuckled and nudged me a little, "I'm having a party this Friday. Wanna come? Its gonna be EPIC!"
I nodded my and gave him a thumbs up. "Sure as heck bro! I'll be there." He always threw the best parties. I loved hanging out with him to, he was like the younger brother I never had. "Wouldn't miss it."
He laughed and put his hand on my shoulder, "that's amazing! Also, its kind of a birthday party."
I gasped, "a birthday party?! Bro happy b-day!" I grabbed his arm and took him to the first class of the day. "Bro I'm gonna get you THE BEST birthday present EVER!"
He chuckled, "I love your enthusiasm. Nothing too good that would make people jealous, like a car?" He winked at me. I totally got the hint, he wanted a car. So I was going to get him the coolest car EVER!
The first class was a bit boring and the time seemed to freeze every time I looked at it.
COUPLE OF HOURS LATER~
"Why don't you come over to my house? My mom could make cookies or cake?" I asked my friend as we exited the school.
"Of course dude, you know I can't resist your moms baking." He laughed walking to my car, "well I love hanging out with you to. Did I ever tell you how much of a brother you feel like to me?" He spread his arms out wide, "that much."
"Ya bro, you told me that many times to. Can I ask you something?" He nodded, "why do you always act like that?"
He shook his head, "like what?"
I rubbed the back of my head. "Like a... Like a brother to me?" he stopped and hit my elbow.
"You are a brother to me! Were best bros. Why? Do you not want to be bros?" He shook his head slowly, "you don't have other friends you would rather hang out with... Do you?"
"No! I just... Your always saying you look at me like a brother and... You know. I started to doubt it cuz you say it all the time." We started to walk to my car again silently. "So your party... This Friday right?"
He nodded and thought for a second, "I'm not saying I do or anything but... What would you do if I didn't want to hang out with you?" He looked down and seemed to be considering this question.
I nudged him with my elbow, "were bros. Not family. That wouldn't change anything though I mean... Not really." I reassured him, "and I mean like, even if you didn't, what would it matter?"
"Parker!" I heard someone yell my name when we reached my car and were about to get in. I hated my last name. Parker... It just sounded... Bad.
We turned around to see Anne walking up to us. She looked amazing as always. Although she never talked to me unless i had done something or she needed something. "Ya? What's up?"
She stopped and texted on her phone, while chewing gum. "Never mind." She said as she walked away.
"I'm... Not sure what just happened." He said. We both chuckled as we got into the car and started the drive home.
"Parker... Never mind." We both laughed as we took turns mimicking her in funny voices. It was quite funny. We weren't bullies but, Anne wasn't exactly the nicest person either. So who could blame us?
The drive was long and quiet. Max had decided to go to his house instead. By the time I dropped Max off and got home, mom was already making dinner.
It smelled quite good surprisingly. I wondered if she was taking cooking classes. "Hey, there you are. What took you so long to get home?"
"I was dropping Max off at his house." I said taking a bite of an apple. She sighed and continued to cook. "Why does it matter?"
She turned to look at me, "why would what matter?"
"If I dropped Max off at his house."
She shrugged, "nothing I guess. You should have texted me though."
"Sorry mom. Next time I will." I took two more bites of my apple and threw it away. I didn't like eating apples because of the skin. The juice was good and I always think I will get use to it. Although, that never happened.
"I wish you would stop wasting the apples." She said as she kept her eyes on the stove.
"Sorry mom." I said and walked up to the food she was cooking. It looked like a pasta in a pan. I turned and went upstairs, changing into my after school clothes, or known as pajamas.
I yawned eyeing my bed, oh how I wanted to pass out on it. I was so tired after school.
I headed back down stair to see my mom plating the food. It looked amazing and I couldn't wait to dig in.
We said out prayers and started to eat. "wow mom! This is so good!" I said shoving more into my mouth.
"Ok jeez slow down." She laughed. Nothing had ever tasted this good. I loved it so much.
When I finished eating, I went up to my room and did my homework. It was all easy stuff I learned last week at school.
I laid down on my bed and started to fall asleep. I thought about life. It was perfect and i hoped nothing changed. What could possibly change?









okay, so exclamation marks are a little overused.
you only really need them once in a while, and never outside of speech marks unless it’s onomatopoeia. that’s my experience anyway.
if you want more people to check out your book, I think you should change the intro.
see, you need to put something specific at the start, because that’s the bit people are going to see without clicking on the book.
for example, you might do a few lines of talking.
“...*insert random interesting phrase*”—
and then after that, you start on the important part.
for example:
“...GET OUT OF MY DAMN HOUSE!”—
Anastatica lived in a family of ten. well, actually she served a family of ten.
she had been found as an abandoned baby, and raised as a servant to the Stevens family.
what happens when circumstances force her out into the world? will she die out, forgotten by society, or will she rise to face her fears and overcome her past?
or something like that. basically you need should put more energy into the intro.
sorry if this is a little long, I didn’t want to disappoint.
ask questions about my logic if you like.