Chapter 1
Imagine what it’s like, looking down the barrel of a gun, knowing it will hurt you, yet you chose to stare. If I had a way to describe the feeling of complete fear, without a thought on how to become brave, it would be addiction. Addiction is this story I have to tell you, it is the reason I stay up at night and the reason I wake up feeling exhausted. It all started around 14 years old, when I had a friend buy me a pack of cigarettes and I would step out into the backyard late at night to smoke. The feeling of being lightheaded satisfied me, not knowing what the following 7 years would entail. The next 7 years were a blur, yet I remember everything. I had transferred schools at the beginning of my freshmen year at twin valley south high school in West Alexandria Ohio. I met a great coach who took me under his wings. Standing 6’5 and 14 years old I was dressing varsity first game of the season. I ended up the leading scorer with 16 points, and I took off mentally. I was then quickly projected onto the basketball scene at a young age, playing on multiple aau travel teams with multiple coaches. But, there was always a hidden agenda deep down, I startled experimenting with drugs like marijuana, alcohol, and cigarettes. Feeding my addiction was easy, I somehow always managed to come up with money, or a connnecttion, To get what I wanted. Looking back it’s easy to see that what I chalked up to being a teenager, was my addiction festering. Slowly I started drinking by myself some nights, I started smoking cigarettes full time, and had a full blown marijuana addiction. While playing basketball kept me around the right kids, I always managed to find the wrong ones. I always felt broken, until I took control. Until I learned it’s all in your head, and it’s something you have to deal with. Telling yourself you’re strong enough, takes everything.
