The Dance
“When you love someone, don’t you think that, no matter what happens, we should stick with this particular person?” Jack asked Sarah by standing furiously, pacing his breath aggressively, and holding his hands down.“I do. I did. I don’t go thinking I will change my love when it gets bored. I am so committed to it. That is the reason why I couldn’t love you and why I love him.“”No,” he said, his breath exhaling all the strength in every corner of his bones. He is looking down, observing the thought manifesting itself in an invisible form hidden in the wet grass before his eyes. “You,” he looked up, “You should love me.“She left a smile. It is not clear whether he is saying out of innocence or desperation even though she can know it. “You know why? Because,” he threw his eyes from her again, “Because I love you. I love you so much that you should love me, Sarah.“”Love doesn’t work like that, Jack,” She said, patiently. “It does if you want it,” he raised his eyes to her, “if you want it. You should want it. Feel it, like you are feeling for him. Feel it for me. Don’t fight it. It is wrong.” She walked close to him, “Jack,” she said, “look at me,” she held his cheeks. She raised his eyes to him, with her eyes resting on his, “Stop it.“”I couldn’t.“”You can. You will. You have to,” she said as a mother talks to a child who is filled with guilt, which is too unbearable for him alone. “You are a strong person. You need to understand yourself. You need to embrace the change, you need to live a happy life, ending the torment you are enduring for me.“”It is irony, you know?” he said and threw a half-smile at her. “I can say the same to you, Sarah. You know, if you love him, I lose. If you love me, you lose. And if you lose, is that a win for me? I don’t think so.“”You have all the reason why I shouldn’t love you. Why ask for that, then?“”You feel you belong to him, and I feel you belong to me. Both are as pure as they can be. One should sacrifice.“”Sacrifice,” she left a pale chuckle. “That is the one thing you never liked to do.“”Even you are not doing it now.“”You are not understanding, do you? It is a sacrifice for you and a loss for me. I can sacrifice, but I can’t lose.“”No,” he strikes her and leaned back on the rock behind. “Jack, the only way this settles is, I go away from you, never to meet you. And slowly, you will get used to it and live your life happily. It takes time, but it will, eventually, in a good way, gets better enough that, from one day, you no longer suffer.“”You go away from me, and I go away from this World,” he said simply, keeping up his eyes to her.“Goddamn it, Jack,” She screamed. “For the sake of goodness, god, gracious, stop that.“”If you don’t care to love me, why care me to live?“”Why are you so difficult?“”When you have your reasons for what you want to do, I have mine.“”Yes, stupid reasons.“”The ones which are the same as yours.“Her temple and cheeks turned red. The nerves are outlined like grooves on her neck. Her fists are closed like strangling the air between them. “Okay,” she gasped and took a breath. “Let’s do one thing. You kill me, and I kill you.“He looked up to her. In a moment, it was prosperity and then contempt. “Do no wrong. We kill each other,” She said coldly.“Are you sure about it?“”You are leaving me no chance. I can’t even think.“”Love is destruction.“”I don’t argue it is not.“”So, are we really killing each other?” he asked with patience. “How could we kill each other at the same moment?” she asked.“We jump from a cliff.“”What if one survives?“”Oh, that’s not fair,” he said, looking down. “We burn ourselves.“”Too painful. I can’t endure it.“”Hang?” “I hate it.“”Drown?” “I love swimming.“”Love me?“She smiled. The chuckle of her continued, and he too joined, chuckling along with her.“Shall we dance?” he asked. He held his hand up to her, waiting. Her eyes are fixed on him, watching deeper. She said, “Here?” and looked around. The night sky is filled with Stars and Moon with no clouds anywhere. The trees afar are covered in fog. It was so calm, and the only sound they were hearing is the burning sound of the flames beside them and creaking of woods, which are spreading around and disappearing as sparks. They both were bright as gold in the shine of the firelight, which fading the moonlight on them. “Remember the song, and feel it. Let it run in your soul and make your move,” he said.“Is it...“”Speak no more,” he moved close to her. Her eyes were watching his. She held his palm. She started dancing in the way he is directing with his eyes, hands, and his whole body. Their eyes met like light and night struck in twilight; drew back away. Their hands are holding each other, leaving its hold. Her feet were flowing in the sign of his feet. The words were lost. The thoughts were gone. The what they were become some inseparable force feeling the heat of fire and glow of the moon. If it is love, one loose. If it is dance, no one can step in. If she is him, she will let him love who he loves. If he is her, he will let her love him. If the fire put off or sunrises or someone visits or when they reach their last steps, it is no longer a dance. A void, which will be and only can be filled with the destruction; love. And this feeling, these thoughts, these questions, they are in him and in her. And fading of those questions is the music they are hearing. “Can we dance like this forever?“”I wish.“”You wish?” he smiled and circled her in the moves his hands perfected and expressing. “Well, may I curse you with it?” he asked.“You curse me?” she burst out into smiles. ” Do curse me, if you can endure that curse with me.“”I can endure anything when you are with me.“”You think?“”I know.“”You are fantasizing.“”I am expressing.“”Love..,“”Is you and me.“They both burst into laughter again, adding the sound of their laughter to the burning screams of fire.“And you named it destruction.“”It is only if it destroys.“”Will it?“”Only when it is no more you and me.“”You won’t let me say you are wrong.“”You can’t.“”I will.“”You should.“”It kills you?“”Painfully.“”I couldn’t bear it.“”I know.”
“You kill me with your act, and I kill you with my words,” she said. They both stopped. They are reflecting each other. Even the thoughts. He did the action, she said the words in the space between their eyes.
