Letter 1
Dear Girl I Once Knew,
I’m hurt. I feel sorry to admit it but I am. You hurt me and you don’t let me tell you how much I care but if I do, I’m punished. Why? Why do you say you love me and that you care about me when all you do is hurt me over and over again.
I think the one thing that causes me to let your hurt me and prevents me from fighting back is that I love you. I freaking love you and you don’t understand it. Or maybe you do and you’re happy that your plan worked, you got yourself a puppet and I handed you the strings. I know in every other reality...I would still do the same thing. Fall for the girl I know will treat me horribly while saying she loves me. I’ve never loved anyone like I’ve loved you. You are the only person that I want to be with no matter what we both have been through.
I never want to be afraid of the person I love. Luckily, I’ve never been afraid of you. Never have, never will be. You don’t scare me, you hurt me...there’s a difference. There are many types of pain that I have felt because of you. I’ve barely felt the physical pain but the emotional pain, is the worst pain that I have ever felt. I don’t blame you, I truly don’t. I know all that we’ve been through and I just hope that you remember me. It’s my fault for letting you in, for letting my heart be so open, for wearing my heart on my sleeve, but it’s no my fault that I love you.
You need love, as do I. That’s what I think was either so difficult or made everything so easy. I know it is a bit of a contradiction but there ar times where you make me laugh so much that tears fill my eyes and there are times where you have made me cry uncontrollably. The thing that I believe amazes you is that through it all, I have loved you and still have never left. Even when you say you hate me and you hurt me, I still loved...still love you.
