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An Adventure to be Mistaken

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Summary

Khari thinks that she is the only kid in the world with secret superpowers. She couldn't be more wrong. On a journey to try and find her birth parents, she meets other kids with superpowers. They are all looking for something, or someone too. They all team up to try and help one another, all while fighting off evil that's trying to take all of their powers away.

Status
7yrs ago
Chapters
2
Rating
n/a
Age Rating
13+

Chapter 1.

If Khari hadn't gone looking, she might not have been here.

As she watched the building's last ashes blow away, and as the last of the fire slowly died away, she sang. Sadly. She sang sadly to little baby Rosa. "You and I are all that is left, as we stand here by the fire, tears rolling down our cheeks, I am with you do not forget our family."

Khari sat up in bed, surprised to find tears still streaming down her cheeks, her breaths short and quick. Her heart was pounding a mile a minute and her head was spinning. It was still pitch black outside." Wait? Still?" Khari thought to her self. " Oh" she sighed thankfully. " It was just a dream." Khari knew after another one of her, dreams, that she was NOT going to be able to go back to sleep. Falling back asleep ment that she would have to redream that dream, and maybe more. She didn't think she could bear another dream about another one of her foster homes getting destroyed.

She went to the kitchen to get a drink but she couldn't find the stairs. All of a sudden her head spin pain fully, and she found herself at the bottem of the stairs, the back of her heels just barely touching the bottom step. Khari barley realised. Khari wanted to be in the kitchen with a cup of tea. Then the pain in her head came again, a we aeqnd she found herself in the kitchen with a steaming hot cup of her favorite tea, lemon herbal spice, but, it's only sold in... She stopped short, remembering her old home, with her parents, not her birth parents, but her parents non to to the less. "They died because of me", she thought aloud. "Oh. Oh no sweetie. You know that non of that is true." The voice made Khari jump. Even though she knew it all too well. It was her 5th mother, Fernina. Her foster mother. "I don't want another person that I care about DIE because of ME", Khari raged. "But darling-" Fernina was cut off mid-sentence, because she disappeared! Khari was startled! She had just been thinking about Fernina leaving her be, and heading back to her room. Khari set down the tea and dashed up the flight of stairs. Sure enough, Fernina was in her room, in her bed, blinking in surprise. "We can discuss this further tomorrow. Why don't you head to bed," said Fernina steadily, and then she went back to sleep. In the morning, Khari felt as though some to something was off, so she pack her medium sized backpack with all of her belongings.

It was late in the morning but also summer, so she didn't need to go to school. " We're going to the supermarket after Brunch and your coming!" Called up Fernina, so after brunch, Khari, Fernina, Salis(foster dad), Tony(foster older brother), and baby Rosa all piled into the car and left. After one lazy hour walking around 5th Foster family, Khari offered to go look at baby stuff for baby Rosa. "That would be great, thanks. Oh, and please take Rosa with you", said Fernina absent-mindedly. Khari, with baby Rosa's help, picked out 12 toys, and 15 things of baby food for baby Rosa, paid for to them, put the food and 10 of Rosa favorite new toy in her bag, and then returned to Fernina. When they returned home their house was gone and polic officers and firefighters were surrounding it.

Let KGhoul know what you thought about this chapter!
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author

Hi, we thing you write well, with good grammar and excellent punctuation.  However, you need a bit of direction both in your summary and in your first chapter.  In your summary you need a bit of excitement.  Sure the kids can team up, but they should be teaming up because of a common enemy, and you need to hint at that enemy here.  Chapter one should not end on a low note, with her going to the kitchen.  The bad dream could cause physical reactions: pounding heart, caught breath, aching head, etc.  This would make it more frightening or more moving.  Why are the dreams plaguing her?  What is it about the dreams that she fears/dislikes/feels sad about?  You could make much more of them here.  She could be frightened to sleep again in case she started dreaming.  Is the child real or imaginary, or something from the future.  Is she puzzled, confused, heartbroken about it.  With a bit of work, this could be a fine chapter.  

7 years

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