That Day
Have you experienced being infatuated with someone? Well if you have, then how was the experience? Was it good or bad?
The thing is we always seek for perfection and end up getting hurt in the end, as the 'perfection' we think that existed, never really did.
One way or the other, surely some of you may have experienced the feeling that that 'guy' is the perfect one for us and we start to think that we have fallen madly in love when it fact it was just a mere infatuation.
I thought, that guy was perfect, that he was everything a girl could wish for, but as I went along my journey of finding what i thought my heart was seeking, I stumbled upon an obstacle that opened my eyes to reality.
It was a cold winter night when we set off to watch a Nutcracker Ballet. I thought my body would be able to handle the naughty cold that even my jacket could not handle, but sadly I didn't.
I shivered terribly until I was finally able to reach the main hall where the cold could not go pass through and where the warm atmosphere envelopes the whole of me.
It was my first time going at this type of ballet, so while I was silently waiting for the performance to start, my heart could not find the words: calm down as it leaped up and down as if it wanted to be free from my caged chest.
Finally, after about fifteen minutes, we were called to the bleachers and then there it all started, when the curtain slowly climbed up and a beautiful boy swept through the stage as if it was his.
At first, I did not understand, because my eyes see past other performers that were dancing with him. It was only he that my eyes could see in those moments. He was the prince who belonged to Clara Stauhlbaum, but I was the girl seated at the very back row wanting to take him away.
I will not make my story that long, but it was in those hours that I have decided I will love someone again, and I know that was the most stupid thing to declare ever.
INFATUATION. This is where heartbreak starts...
The performance ended. To be honest, I felt sad because the thought of not being able to see him ever again lingered in my mind. My mind kept searching for answers whether or not I would ever make my self know to him.
Then, as if the heavens heard my answer, I was finally able to see him. In those moments, I deeply felt the raging storms inside my chest. The feeling of his arms beneath mine sent shivers throughout my system as we were taken a picture of. The picture that would forever haunt me of the days I chose to follow what should not be.
Days after that, I could not forget him. Everything I see triggers a memory of him. I thought that I was in love, but sadly I realized that I was slowly getting obsessed which is out of the context of love, and so I decided to cease the feelings that I felt and shush them down for the rest of my life until a friend of mine decided to open the mouth of my heart.
She planned something that would let my crush know that I exist. And so she tried to chat my crush through social media, and told me to stay put. At first I was skeptical that he would respond, but to my surprise, he responded and got curious who the admirer was. Me.
He eventually got a hold of my name, and followed me. I, being the girl who thought that she was the luckiest of all girls that day, messaged him. Hours I would wait, just for a simple and plain response from him until the day came where I think he has run out of patience in entertaining my few questions.
I asked something to him but he didn't reply. I waited and went to school in order to just think of what he would reply. And then I got home, I checked my phone and noticed that there was a notification. My heart leaped from excitement but fell down from such a very high height when I realized I lost one follower.
Fast as a lightning bolt, I bolted through my followers and tried to look for him but failed. He just cut me off in his life.
I told my friends about it and they were just as dissapointed as me.
You know, we are just young people and we learn from the things we experience. I won't lie about how bitter I felt but I would not also say that I was not thankful, for if it wasn't for that rejection, I would not learn that: Rejections just mean that someone or something better is yet to come.
Everything happens for a reason that is beyond our understanding.
I just thought of sharing it in here. I have buried the past behind me and so I have no bitter feelings as I am writing this, In fact, I feel quite relieved because I know that I'm now okay and ready to experience harsher realities as I am openly sharing my story here.
Always remember that you shouldn't always look for the one who is perfect for you, because no one is. Believe me, you'll get past all these pitfalls and once you get through them with grace and patience, you will get what you truly deserve.
Time may be limited, but there is no need to rush things. The things you deserve will be the one rushing to get you when the time is right.
If you're reading this, I hope you're good. Today I'm signing off as an admirer whose imaginations and fantasies could go beyond when infatuated.
That is all, thanks for reading even though I think what I made deserves to be thrown in the garbage.
