Love & Pain

She was gorgeous, she was beautiful, she was kind and she was special. She was loved by everyone. She was everyone’s friend. She was loyal and strong. She inspired me to become the person I am today. But sadly, in junior year of high school she left and she never came back.

Her parents looked for her every day after school but they never found her. Some say she ran away, others say she was kidnapped, I say she was broken. She was my best friend. She was my sister. She told me everything, even the things she didn’t have to. She respected my feelings, she always understood when I didn’t want to tell her things. I was her best friend. I knew things about her no one ever did, even her parents.

She loved the color black, blue was what she admired. She loved horses but birds made her feel free. She had been broken many times before and yet she hangs on as if she had never been hurt. She was small but she was strong. She was beautiful and kind. I loved everything about her but I had no idea what she saw in me.

I was fat and I was ugly. I was dumb and dishonest. She was everything I was not, everything I wished to be. She was the perfect daughter while I was the worst granddaughter. She loved everyone while I only loved her.

Like I knew her, she understood me. In me, she saw no flaws while flaws were all anyone ever saw. I loved her like a sister, something I never had.

I say she was broken because she was. She said she was not strong. She said she loved all the wrong people, all the people who left scars. They all hurt her in one way. One way all the same. They all said they loved her, they needed her. She gave them everything. She gave them all her attention, all her love, and all her acceptance. She made it so she would never leave them. She was what they said. She was a child, she was stupid, she would be lonely, she would be nothing. And she listened. They broke her down every time. She talked down on herself to make them feel like royalty.

She said she had been hurt three times. Once in first grade, once in seventh grade, and the last in freshman year. She was confused as to how she was hurt three times all the same way. I told her they didn’t deserve her. She smiled, one I had never seen before. One no one had ever seen before. She did not smiled showing her perfect white teeth. She smiled showing thankfulness. And she smiled with tears. I was the first who had seen that smile and I was the last.

Graduation came but she didn’t. They never found her. They never knew what happened to her. They didn’t but I did. I know what happened to her. She went to the pier and starred all that pain in the eye. She stood her ground and faced her pain.

I stared at the moon through my window. And I thought of my friend. I saw her in the moon. I knew wherever she was, she was okay because she was finally happy. I read her letter over and over again, the ones I received every day. I saw her in the moon because she was the brightest in the night sky. She was not a star because she was not like everyone else. She was seen, and she was the brightest.

She was strong and she was brave. She was smart and she was beautiful. She was kind and understanding. She was loving and she was loved. She was my best friend, and I was the one who never hurt her.